3.01.2007

The Worst Videos

What are the worst music videos you've ever seen and what makes them so g*d awful?

That's the question Janet posed to her readers this week, and I suspect very little elaboration will be necessary. I may list more in the future, but for now here are five that are pretty bad:



I'm starting with the worst of the worst, a song I hated in high school, and one I shudder to put on my site even now, even as an example of something bad. What's going on? It's four fugly dy--sorry, 4 Non Blondes croaking a horrible song out while posing for various artsy shots on a playground. So bad.



I'm stealing this next one from Darrell. Somehow this collaborative nightmare between Mick Jagger and David Bowie escaped my notice until he posted it, along with a play-by-play that hits what's wrong with that video more eloquently than I could.



This next monstrosity comes to you from Color Me Badd. Beavis and Butthead once accurately described this video as a collaboration between Snow, Terence Trent D'arby, George Michael and Kenny G. Just look at that crack commando boy band quartet bent on female domination. It's no wonder they're still around today. Oh, wait...



Speaking of Snow, a buddy of mine has mastered the completely unintelligible lyrics to this tune, solely to add camp value to his karaoke parties. The song is fresh, but the video is ridiculous. Look at that clean cut “badass” doing hard time in between singing with his backup singers. Jim Carrey said it best.



When No Rain by Blind Melon was first released, I took an immediate liking to it that quickly faded through excessive airplay. As time passed and the song faded, I found I could enjoy it once again every year or so. Even the pronunciation of “strategy” as “stragedy” ceased to bother me. I almost hate to include it in this list, and I don't mean to speak ill of the late Shannon Hoon, but I think the inclusion of this video can be summed up with two words: “bee girl”. ‘nuff said.

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There are many, many horrible videos out there, and these are some of the worst. Do you agree? Which ones have I overlooked?

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8 Comments:

Blogger Lyndon said...

Gawd I hated Snow with a passion!!! His album is still one of the worst things that I ever heard.

Just like Vanilla Ice, he doesn't seem to want to go away. Can't believe he plans to release another album this year.

3/01/2007 7:57 AM  
Blogger Darrell said...

I'm with Lyndon, Snow is one of the worst things that ever walked on God's earth.

I saw 4 Non Blondes open for Aerosmith twelve or fifteen years ago. I can't believe that Linda Perry has actually been able to endure in the music business. That womans voice makes me want to kick puppies.

I can't find the word "strategy" in the lyrics to "No Rain." Do you maybe have a mondegreen to confess?

That might be a fun topic for a blog party and/or blog quiz: "The lyric actually says this, but I thought or he thought or she thought it said that." Of course, there a tons of websites dedicated to that topic. My favorite example is the woman who heard One Headlight by the Wallflowers and thought that the line "it smells like cheap wine and cigarettes" was "it smells like cheap Hawaiian cigarettes..."

Of course, having worked in radio, I've heard all of them ... and had a few of my own.

3/01/2007 3:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

OMG--! It's at 2:30 in the video, but I just looked it up, and instead of "ya know I'd like to keep my cheating straGeDy" he's singing "ya know I'd like to keep my cheeks dry today"(which makes more sense in the context of the song, and explains why I always thought strategy was pronounced weird).

I can't believe it. You have no idea how many years I've had those words wrong without even a clue.

3/01/2007 4:56 PM  
Blogger Johnny Bacardi said...

I, too, despised that 4 Non Blondes song and video. But I've liked Linda Perry's work with Pink and others. Funny old world.

But that prancing Jagger/Bowie vid has to be the nadir of their careers, maybe the worst video of all time, and still makes me weep for the Sixties and Seventies.

3/01/2007 7:47 PM  
Blogger Natsthename said...

I gotta say, I feel the love for the Bee Girl. She reminds me of LIttle Miss Sunshine!

3/01/2007 9:22 PM  
Blogger Lorna said...

There is nothing, NOTHING, worse than a Rod Stewart video, unless it's Rod Stewart live.

3/01/2007 10:20 PM  
Blogger kevbayer said...

Queen. I want to break free.

I win.

3/01/2007 10:30 PM  
Blogger Janet said...

I love the Snow song, if for nothing else but novelty purposes. I also liked the fun Carrey poked at it back in the day. Linda Perry, though not the best singer, has done pretty well for herself behind the scenes, writing and producing for artists such as Pink. Not too shabby for a one hit wonder, no?:)

3/03/2007 6:23 PM  

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