PBW: A Wonderful Christmas Time

The holidays are winding down quickly, as is this year, but Photo Blog Wednesday will capture the residual magic of my family's Christmas, from our home to my Uncle's nursing home, which featured a great soundtrack juxtaposition:

Looking Back Looking Forward

2009 is over in just a few short days and with it, an as yet unnamed decade. Seriously, did we ever decide on a name? I've lived now through a portion of the ‘70s, all of the ‘80s and ‘90s, and....the ‘00s? How do we even pronounce that? “Oh-oh's”? Considering some of the things that have happened in the past ten years, that might be appropriate. Me, I'm already wondering what we call this next decade. The teens? And what comes next? The ‘20s? How do we differentiate those from the 1920s? Wait, those were Roaring.

It seems like each decade I live through goes faster than the previous one. I thought this whole new millennium thing just started. I began a new job on the very first working day of the year 2000, and a new chapter in my life. Gone was the educational but crappy job I spent four years of my life at after graduating college. Gone also was my girlfriend, and I probably spent far too many years getting over her. I've had my share of unrequited crushes, botched or misguided attempts to win hearts, and the rare date or two in the years since, but nothing resembling that relationship. Of course, since that went down in flames, I really shouldn't compare or make that my goal. Something better and more permanent is in my future; I just don't know when. Resolving to change my luck each year was too ambitious, but to achieve happiness in this next decade? I think I'm up to that challenge....

Ten years flew by, and while it seems like everything is the same, more things changed than I probably realized. I didn't have a blog ten years ago. I did have a birth defect that nearly killed me at the end of the year 2000. I'd never served jury duty; by the end of 2001 I'd spend a month on a grand jury, during which time I also had all four wisdom teeth removed. So there's definitely a lot less pieces in me now. I joined a gym, and gradually and surprisingly became a runner. Then I lost my job in 2007, with it the company gym membership, and spent a year getting fat again before joining a new gym. In 2009, I pushed myself to train for a race, and kept running after achieving my goal. I managed to shed 25 pounds, and despite the occasional fluctuation during high snacking periods, I haven't gone up more than 5-10 pounds before losing it again. Let's hope I can keep that up in the next decade.

2009 was a year of record celebrity deaths, so many so that any attempt on my part to list them would not only be morbid, but I'd almost certainly forget someone important. And while all people are important, not just the famous ones, family and friends are the most important ones of all. At the beginning of 2009 I was sure we were going to lose my dad. He was sure he was gone, too. He's feeling his age, but he still made a great comeback, and God willing he's going to see his 80th birthday in 2010. Maybe he can't walk as fast, lift as much, hear as well or raise his arms above his head, but he still has his full mental capacity, unlike my mom's brother, who drove his car to Staten Island in a state of confusion in the Spring, nearly set fire to his apartment in the Summer, and settled into a nursing home by Autumn. It's been a period of adjustment which I noticed both in holidays and in helping clean out his apartment; my car's trunk still houses many of his old paintings. It's been really hard on my mom and her other brother, who alternate days visiting and dealing with the situation, and my dad who goes along for the ride and has some sisters with health problems of their own.

I think I've done a lot of things in the last 10 years that I never, ever pictured myself doing, both good and bad. I've definitely socialized more and expanded my old tight college circle of friends with new ones at the two companies I've worked for in the past decade. I've been to a few more happy hours, but knowing my uncle's alcoholic past and wondering if it contributed to his current state, I keep track and pace myself. Knowing I have to drive home at the end of the night is enough to limit my drinking, although a situation like my Atlantic City visit in which I was staying overnight removed that limitation, and allowed me to go a little crazy. I think it's okay to loosen up, go wild, and blow off some steam once in a while, provided I don't go too far. I understand the phenomenon of the quiet, reserved guy holding back flying to the other extreme when let loose. Dancing like a fool is something I've done four or five times in the “Oh-oh”s, but damn has each time been fun in the moment.

I wasn't taking pictures as frequently or even using a digital camera 10 years ago. There was no such thing as a Photo Blog Wednesday. There were probably phases during which there was no such thing as leaving my room unless I was going to work or a band gig. I've explored Long Island and the city, and even ventured further for conventions, races, paintball, or a Philly Cheese Steak. I've seen movies continue to amaze and raise the bar for my demographic, including X-Men, The Lord of the Rings, Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, Spider-Man, Iron Man, The Incredibles, District 9, Transformers, Star Trek, and even a feature-length Simpsons Movie. We had our share of disappointments too, proving costumes and special effects are meaningless without good stories, scripts, and direction. Still, this was a great decade to be a geek when you consider how many properties were brought to life and treated maturely and with respect. I never thought I'd see half the things I've seen. I'm excited for what's coming next and where we go from here.

Where do we go from here? The unknown is exciting and scary. I can think of some great things that might happen in the next 10 years, and I can think of some sad things that probably will happen as well. I can only look too far ahead before it gets overwhelming. We should all take things one day at a time. We shouldn't be afraid of the occasional risk, or occasional new experience. I saw Metallica for the first time at the beginning of 2009 and liked it so much that I saw them again before the end of the year. It was just another chance for me to let out the me I usually keep locked in my brain. And I think that may be my greatest wish for 2010 and beyond, after health and happiness for my family, friends, and pets. I want to be the me that I have the potential to be, confident and unencumbered by doubts and fears. I like that guy. I've met him a few times, but I've only caught glimpses of him in the last 10 years. I sense he's close to the surface again though, and that means that anything is possible. We can't eliminate our fear, but we can press on in spite of it. We should press on, in spite of it. But don't take my word for it. I'll let yet another cinematic icon who made a surprisingly good return in the ‘00s speak for me:

Phantasmic Links 12.28.09

This has been an exhausting weekend. Truth be told, the whole week, though short, was tiring, from shoveling snow to my awesome holiday party to spending time with family and friends! In some ways, I wish every week was like this, because it's worth it. In others, I don't mind the occasional quiet time to rest and focus on things like PHANTASMIC LINKS:

(1) A possible sociopath is brilliant in pointing out all the logic and plot flaws that made Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace such a terrible, terrible movie. Before I just thought the movie wasn't as good as the others, but this guy makes a great case, with some great comedic, occasionally disturbing, asides. I can't describe it, but I watched all 7 videos back to back. You not only walk away with a great understanding of what went wrong, but why, and you realize why a trilogy from the same man would differ so much from one he made when he was younger.
Hat Tip: Krispy(and Rey who also sent me direct links to the videos a few days later).

(2) ”Must be some kind of....Hot Tub...Time Machine” says Craig Robinson, guaranteeing that I'll want to see this flick. The red band trailer offers even more hilarious line delivery.
H.T.: B13.

(3) Five years ago, a computer rendered a new Christmas album. Technology, it seems, is not without a sense of harmony...

(4) A fugitive mocks authorities...from his FACEBOOK page. I wonder if he'll get one more status update when (if?) they catch him....

(5) Great Dane, that's a big dog! Of course, Guiness would seem to contradict the apparent photo manipulation.

(6) Here's another instant holiday classic: Marvel's Very M.O.D.O.K. Christmas.

(7) ”Alma” is the directorial debut of Pixar's Rodrigo Blaas, a beautifully animated tale of childhood curiosity and creepy toys.

(8) As was inevitable, John Daker takes on Super Freak.

(9) A bill would lower those annoyingly loud television commercials. I think the volume difference has gotten worse, because I only started noticing it in the last couple of years. I'm all for this.

(10) Can you infect everyone with a zombie plague before Christmas arrives? I love those heartwarming holiday games....

Have a link to a game, movie, article, or anything else you think might be “phantasmic”? E-mail me and it just might appear in an upcoming PHANTASMIC LINKS!

WWW: Weekend Wrental Wreviews 23

Let's see what I saw this week for Weekend Wrental Wreviews in my 23rd WWW:

1) The Santa Clause:
Tim Allen does what other actors warn against, and works with both children and animals in a holiday family film that spawned a trilogy(more on that shortly). I probably caught more than half of this movie on television years ago, but only recently was in the right mood and frame of mind to sit through it properly from beginning to end. And in such a mood and frame of mind, it's not that bad. Allen plays Scott Calvin, a single dad juggling his career with the marketing division of a toy company and making time to see his son, who lives with his ex-wife and her new husband, played by Judge Reinhold. While watching the boy on Christmas Eve, a disturbance on the roof causes him to run outside and investigate, where he startles Santa Claus, startling the jolly fat man and causing him to plunge to his death. “You killed him!” whines the little boy, in a scenario that could have been a lot more gruesome if this weren't a Disney movie. But since it is, the body conveniently disappears when they aren't looking, leaving only the red suit and a business card which conceals the titular clause. Calvin dons the suit, finds reindeer on his roof with a sleigh, and is soon out delivering presents with his son before landing at the North Pole, where the head elf Bernard(David Krumholz) points out the clause and explains that this is now Calvin's new gig. It was one of the earliest roles I remember seeing Krumholz in, and it was strange that the next time I recognized him he was stabbing the hell out of some of my favorite doctors in the nightmarish ending to an episode of ER. Here, his role seems to be in more of a dream sequence, and when Calvin wakes up in his own bed the next morning, it seems to support the fantasy. The only problems are the monogrammed red silk pajama's with the initials “S.C.”(also his own) and the fact that his son remembers everything and has a snow globe that Bernard gave him. This causes problems down the line at school and with his mom and stepfather, and while everyone including Calvin is concerned for the boy's mental state, Calvin has to question his own reality when he starts facing radical physical changes. He gains weight rapidly. His beard grows back as quickly as he shaves it. And his hair starts turning white. When he receives a massive list of all the boys and girls he has to deliver presents to, he begins to realize that it wasn't a dream. It still sounds insane to everyone else of course, and convincing people while facing the loss of visitation rights with his son proves to be the central dilemma of the film. Will magic win out in the “real” world where adults have long ago stopped believing in it? It's the sort of corny feel-good stuff that only works this time of year. What happened to the previous Santa? Was he the original? Was there one before him? Is there always a succession? These questions aren't answered here, and perhaps are not important. With a ride like this, all you can do is embrace your own inner child, and go with it. And if your inner child can beat the game on the special edition DVD, he or she might get treated to a cartoon classic.

2) The Santa Clause 2:
In some ways, the sequel loses some of the magic of the original, but still manages to be a lot of fun. Allen has really grown into the role of Santa by this point and genuinely looks the part, but the real fun arises when he also gets to play his plastic toy doppelganger, a stand-in while he goes off to find a wife. He's rapidly changing back into Scott Calvin, because some actors have to be recognizable as themselves in a movie(see Batman Returns, Spider-Man and its sequels, etc. and you'll get what I mean). The reason for the change given in the plot however is the previously unmentioned “Mrs. Clause” that states Santa must take a wife, for some reason before the 8th or so Christmas he's been on the job. If not, he loses his magic, and the world loses Christmas. So the movie splits in two, with Allen as his misguided twin providing the most entertainment as power corrupts. It wasn't a great plan and shouldn't have fooled the elves, but it made things entertaining. Back in the real world, we see that Calvin has become good friends with his ex-wife and her husband now, and their daughter even calls him “Uncle Scott”. Eric Lloyd, now grown, reprises his role as Calvin's son Charlie, and as a hormonal high school boy he keeps getting in trouble as he spreads graffiti to both protest the absence of Christmas in the school and impress a girl. This gets him in trouble with the tyrannical principal, played by Elizabeth Mitchell(Lost, V), and she clashes with Calvin. Of course, as is the formula, the initial not getting along phase leads to bonding and romance, and it soon becomes apparent that she will be his choice for Mrs. Clause, if he can win her over. This is all complicated by the fact that he keeps spending his finite magic in trying to win her over, and his double has decreed all children naughty, using an army of toy soldiers to enforce the distribution of coal. When the two plots finally come back together, the main plot is overshadowed by the subplot, and the movie suffers a little. My only other criticism is in the addition of Spencer Breslin as the elf Curtis. Krumholtz is still around as Bernard, but he has to share most of his scenes with this annoying new character. There's also the introduction of an entire council of mythical figures like Santa, who distract from the core cast to some degree but also set the stage for the next chapter in the series....

3) The Santa Clause 3:
Anybody else noticing a pattern with this week's reviews? In any event, Allen is fully comfortable as Santa now and, SPOILER, Mitchell as his bride is expecting their first child. Almost the entire cast from the prior films returns, although Charlie plays a much smaller role with his kid stepsister being the central child character. Most glaringly is the absence of David Krumholtz as Bernard, with almost no reference to his character other than Spencer Breslin's Curtis describing himself as the “NEW head-elf.” So what happened to Bernard? He was always older(and taller) than the other elves, so did he die off-screen? Did Curtis bump him off to get the job? We may never know. Santa has a lot on his plate as the arrival of his child seems dangerously close to coinciding with his Christmas duties, and as he struggles to give equal attention to work and family, he has the bright idea of bringing his in-laws to the North Pole, and telling them that it's Canada to protect his secret. Because these people (Ann-Margret and Alan Arkin) are apparently COMPLETE idiots, they fall for fake signs and elves in hats ending every sentence with “eh”. A G-movie aimed at children should still have some logic, no? Calvin ends up bringing his whole family(sans Charlie, who goes skiing with his girlfriend) up North, but instead of giving him more time to focus they all provide more distractions. The council of legendary figures is back, this time trying to discipline Jack Frost, played by Martin Short. If they needed another villain, they would have been better off bringing back Allen as the evil Toy Santa. Short isn't terrible, but his over-the-top ham routine makes him a scene-stealer and a distraction. My real problem is that this short film(about an hour-and-a-half) is mostly spent setting up Frost's plan to usurp Santa, by tricking him into invoking an “Escape Clause” using a magic snowglobe. There's a lot of potential in reworking the timeline so Calvin never became Santa, and revisiting key scenes from the first movie as actors interact with older footage. But, after an hour setting up this alternate timeline in which Frost puts on the coat and Scott Calvin still looks like Tim Allen(again, see previous movie, Batman Returns, etc.), the whole thing is resolved in about 10 minutes. I also had a problem with the way the in-laws react when they learn a certain secret; some seriously bad acting from two veteran performers. Is the sequel entertaining? Is it fun? Yes, but it's so inferior to the first two as to be a big disappointment. Jokes like flatulent reindeer that never should have been in the second movie are recycled, and ultimately it's clear that everyone involved was just milking the concept to squeeze out another paycheck. Ho, ho, horrid. Eh?

More reviews to follow next week after I've spun a few more discs!

My Christmas Special Fives

Welcome to a very special post featuring My Five Favorite Christmas Specials! You can't see it, but the word “special” is totally spinning around in my brain the way it did in the ‘70s and early ‘80s. Some of you know what I'm talking about; others are just nodding in fearful agreement. In any case, these are somewhat in order, counting down to my absolute favorite, and there probably won't be too many surprises here::

5) Christmas with the Joker:
You know, when it first aired, this was probably my least favorite episode of the otherwise dark and brilliant Batman: The Animated Series. If I wanted a Christmas special, I could look elsewhere, and the fact that it first aired more than a month and a half prior to the holiday didn't help put me in a festive mood. While other episodes stand out as the best in the series overall, this one has since grown on me and earned a place in my heart as a classic. I can't overlook one of the earliest examples of Mark Hamill establishing himself as a talented voice actor and the definitive voice for the animated Joker, especially in an episode in which he gets to sing this classic:


4) The Tick Loves Santa!:
Yes, I'm listing another animated series from the ‘90s, because I miss the hilarious brilliance that was The Tick, a witty and well-written satire of the superhero genre that would later be marred by an extremely short-lived live series. I think the animated version could have worked in primetime, but alas I'll have to be content with the 36 existing episodes, including a Christmas one that, as I recall, aired once or twice in primetime after the Saturday morning series was canceled. In it, The Tick has the moral dilemma of dealing with Multiple Santa, a villain dressed as his favorite holiday icon. What's a superstrong hero with a childlike demeanor and intellect to do?


3) Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire:
This special has the double distinction of not only being a Christmas episode, but the first episode of The Simpsons as a full-length series! They've done several Christmas episodes in the 20(!) years since, some better than others, and with improved animation. Though crudely drawn and faded with time, this is an old friend that has a lot of heart behind a more realistic slightly dysfunctional family. What happens when a father doesn't have money to buy presents? Will Christmas be ruined? Or will a family find a new friend? It's hard to believe the answers to those questions and more have lasted for over two decades.


2) Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer:
As we get into specials that first aired well before I was born, this one by ten years, you'll notice an increase in quality and less hyperbole in my use of the word “classic”. Indeed, there's not a child or adult in America that hasn't been exposed to this Rankin/Bass stop-animation classic. It's a heartwarming tale of outcasts finding kinship and purpose, all wrapped together with the lyrical and narrative stylings of one Burl Ives. Bumbles bounce and misfit toys find their fit, and though I might die a little when I see the concept commercialized, all it takes is the warmth and beauty of the original to wash away the feeling.


1) A Charlie Brown Christmas:
I go back and forth between this one and Rudolph being my favorite, but ultimately this is the one tradition that I gravitate to the most. I even included the definitive clip in yesterday's post. Every time things seem too commercialized, or I see a small tree with a lot of potential, I think about this half hour of miracles, and the wisdom out of the mouths of babes, and smile.

A Very Merry!

I had a nice and relaxing Christmas Eve to rest up for what promises to be a busy but fun weekend with family and friends and those who are both. As is a last minute tradition, I hung ornaments on the tree, dropping one in the process which shattered in to a million pieces. The thing was older than I am, and I was more concerned than my mom was actually mad. Still, I was more careful with the rest. Later, my dad would try to add a garland, and knock another ornament off where it shattered on the floor. Some days it's best to sit still.

I relaxed. I watched a movie. I napped. And in the afternoon, I slapped on yet another Christmas tie and drove the folks to mass. There, the priest's main reading was of the lineage of Jesus--fellow Christians will recognize this as the passage with all the “begat”s. In his sermon, the priest told us of one of his classmates back home in Africa who actually committed the passage from memory, and could name everyone in the line from Abraham right up to the birth of Christ. I'm lucky if I can remember the names of my own grandparents, most of which I don't.

One of the ushers asked me to help with the collection, no doubt because of my festive tie. I'm almost incapable of refusing a request for help, probably something in my own lineage since my dad was the same way. In any case, it was nice to participate and I hadn't done so in a while. After the service, we stopped off for a very nontraditional meal of McDonald's. We've never done the traditional fish thing. My mom's people were Sicilians and didn't have that tradition to begin with. My dad's ancestry hails from Naples, so he did experience the fish thing growing up. I'm not a seafood fan at all, but I probably would have chosen a better option than Mickey D's. The meal left me as lethargic as that food always does the two or three times a year I make the mistake of eating it. I didn't fall asleep again, but I didn't do much of anything other than lie around.

I hope those of you who celebrate have a great Christmas, and I hope all of you have a great weekend. My presents were wrapped days ago, while my mom will probably be up until the wee hours wrapping stuff she bought the day before, another tradition. And, as we did on Thanksgiving, after a meal with just the three of us, we'll probably head to the nursing home to visit my Uncle Jerry. So sometimes, new traditions replace old ones.



EXCELSIOR!

Holiday Motion

Oh, yes. It's that time of year again, time for another tale of the office holiday party. This year's fell a little later than last year's, which worked out for me. About two week's prior, I was given the assignment of designing scratch-off cards as party favors for all attending. Even though I'd be using existing logos and design elements in coordination with graphics other people had already created for the event, time was still needed to put it all together and get about 400 cards printed. So, the extra time worked in my favor.

It also gave me time to recover from a brief illness I suffered last week, no doubt as a result of being run down from my Atlantic City adventure. I was still getting over it when I had to shovel snow for 5 hours. So I wasn't expecting much activity at the party this year. I was going to take things slow, chill with my friends and sip drinks, and certainly not do anything remotely like this:



It takes a certain combination of music, alcohol, and people to get me on a dance floor, but most of all it takes Newton's first law of motion. If I'm at rest, I'm more than content to be a wall-fella, and just observe. But once I'm in motion, it's like a wild and uncoordinated animal has been set free to flail limbs and have seizures.

It's happened before. Office parties. Weddings. Karaoke. Concerts. And once at a fashion show in a major Manhattan night club(a story for another time). So when the DJ approached a friend and I and asked if we'd participate in some kind of competition, I was wary. Last year, a ton of people got roped into a dance-off/race that, among other things, including riding on a miniature tricycle. I needed full disclosure before I agreed to anything, and assurances that he was telling the truth when he said it was a free throw competition. Sure enough, as he pointed out, a plastic net was sitting behind his DJ equipment. We just needed a third person to be a team, so I waved over one of our writers. And when the DJ asked us what our team's name would be, I said the first thing that naturally would occur to someone like me:

“The Avengers.”

I swear, if I don't learn to do the opposite of my natural instincts, I'm going to be single forever. In my defense, I'd had a few drinks at this point and wasn't making the conscious effort to mute my geek voice. One of my supervisors who must have overheard merely rolled his eyes, while the DJ stared, blinked, and proceeded to ask our writer what her name was. He then tacked “...and The Studs” to the end of it, and an embarrassing team name was born. And after a few teams had their shots and it was our turn to line up and take ours, the DJ naturally made fun of us: “You call these guys studs?” Ass.

Every team had 60 seconds to sink as many baskets as possible, and the highest score had been 5. My competitive nature boiled to the surface in the wake of the public humiliation, and I contributed 2 or 3 of our team's 9 baskets. We had a solid lead, and laughter had turned to cheers. The next two teams fared not as well, but then the final team, also two guys and a girl, proved to be a threat. The guys didn't even put their mixed drinks down, shooting with one-handed indifference, in stark contrast to my racing around like it was the NBA. 1, 2, 3, 4....before we knew it, the score was tied and they had a few seconds left! But the last shot bounced out and we were still in! It was time for a tie-breaking round. Of course, this is exactly when I choked. My first shot flew clear over the net and almost into the bar at the far end of the country club. Some kind soul in the crowd chucked it back, and thankfully my teammates each sank a shot. I fired again, this time hitting the backboard, but putting too much force into it. A brick! The pressure was too much! We only had 30 seconds for the tie breaker, and I had wasted so much! My partners didn't let me down, and in the end we had a score of 4. The other team was much more relaxed, almost overconfident, taking their time with their one-handed dismissive tosses. By some miracle, they only scored 4 as well, and in a fit of mercy, the DJ decided not to do another tiebreaker, but award us all prizes. In the end, a $25 gift card made it all worth it.

I was exhausted and triumphant, albeit by association. I needed another drink, and probably some food. At that point I'd only had appetizers. I lingered on the edge of the dance floor trying to figure out my next move, when some ladies I'd worked with at my last job as well as this one invited me to join them on the floor. One dance wouldn't hurt, and honestly a crowded dance floor isn't that intimidating, even to someone as shy as I am. I'm realizing that no one looks at anyone in particular at these things, that it's just a blur of people jumping around and waving their limbs. Sometimes it's okay to just let go, be a little silly, not care, and most importantly have fun.



And other times, you might get carried away, not eat anything, and be a sweaty, dancing mess for three hours in a routine that includes jazz hands and The Batusi. Not that I'd ever do anything like that, of course....