Phantasmic Links 5.26.08

Memorial Day weekend can be rough. After a brief respite Friday night to see the latest adventure of Indiana Jones, it was time to buckle down and get to work. Saturday was a beautiful day, gorgeous weather for a three hour procession with refreshments. I hit a bit of a snag on Sunday morning, however, when improbability stepped in. I remember seeing my favorite sunglasses on top of my keyboards. I remember reaching for a tie on the top shelf of my desk, only to find it weighted down by various bits of junk. I remember tugging at the tie, causing an avalanche of keys, loose change, bits of plastic, and other assorted items toppling behind my desk to get caught in the wires from my computer. After a bit of a tantrum, I managed to pick most things up, only to notice my shades were conspicuously absent. I searched in vain, but the clock was ticking and I had a parade to get to. My dad offered me a pair of lightly tinted old man glasses, not understanding that I needed my glasses, whose mirrored surface hides my eyes so I'm free to look at pretty girls on the sidelines while we walk down the street.

Um, I mean to protect my eyes from deadly ultraviolet rays.

In any case, they still haven't turned up, and it's frustrating that I'm losing my once decent memory at such a relatively young age. I find myself relying more and more on lists and calendars. Such is life, which does take things away over time. I still have two more parades to play and a lawn to cut before this long weekend is over. It will be nice to get back to my office and sedentary lifestyle. It's hard to believe that I have one free weekend before the end of August; truly Summer has begun. I'll just grab a quick break here and find some PHANTASMIC LINKS :

(1) Click Myclofigia and help build our city. 340 strong, and growing...

(2) Is your baby too loud? Does it cry and keep you up at night? Are the expenses of caring for an infant too great in this $4.00-a-gallon-gasoline world? Have you considered selling it on eBay?

(3) Need to fight crime as colorfully and unconventionally as possible? Then you need to visit the Brooklyn Superhero Supply.
Hat Tip: J-No.

(4) Witness an elaborate device Creme that Egg!
H.T.: Curt.

(5) Can a Pac-Man movie really be in the works? Is it sad that I'd see it no matter how bad it looked?

(6) Life imitates art when children's drawings are brought to life.

(7) A blogger dedicates himself to growing every beard type. I've only had about six; who knew there were so many?

(8) Ever wonder from where some of those terms you've heard around the office originated? Wonder no more.
H.T.: Sean.

(9) Show me the way to go home. I'm tired and I want to go to bed. Ah screw it, I'll just sleep here.

(10) Crumbs may be the diet I'm looking for. I can eat as many (virtual) cookies as I want without gaining a pound!

(11) Boomstick is simple yet challenging. Shoot enemies and collect ammo, but shoot conservatively to last...

(12) Dave Cockrum's X-men Freak Out. That man had talent.
H.T.: Sean.

(13) A crafty raccoon makes an acquisition...

(14) Finally, here's an interview with the guy that created Solitaire for Windows. Blessed are the timewasters

Have a link to a game, movie, article, or anything else you think might be “phantasmic”? E-mail me and it just might appear in an upcoming PHANTASMIC LINKS!

Life Takes Away?

"We seem to have reached the age when life stops giving us things and starts taking them away”-Dean Charles Stanforth (Jim Broadbent), Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

That quote reminds me of this guy I know. The son of hardworking Italian immigrants, he and his four sisters learned by example. His father was one of the pioneers of the lunch wagon in this country. His mother once carried a burning cast iron stove out of the house in the middle of the night, hurling it outside and saving her family. His parents also ran a small convenience store, though sometimes he and one sister were less than helpful when they got into the ice cream supply.

After high school, he took some classes and became a pretty good mechanic, finding various mentors in the field. His diagnostic skills were unparalleled, and he could simply tell what was wrong with a car by listening to it. In his free time he was an athlete, coaching his own baseball team. Later in life, he'd tell his son that everything was downhill after age 40.

He settled down and got married at 40, around the time his vision started to go bad. Glasses corrected the problem, but as arthritis set in, he had to give up ball playing. He'd still manage to play catch with his little boy, though he'd rub his shoulder and rotate his arm after each throw. By the time he was 60, many of his teeth were false, a minor annoyance compared to a new problem. When he'd walk fast, he'd describe a tightness in his chest, a feeling like he was breathing cold air. He hardly visited doctors, but decided it was worrisome enough to investigate professionally.

One failed stress test and various imaging tests later, he was diagnosed with several clogged arteries around his heart. Without bypass surgery, doctors estimated a year or two at best before he'd succumb to a fatal heart attack. He tried two balloon angioplasties and one with a laser. All procedures were unsuccessful in clearing the blockage, and doctors actually burned him on the last one, a very unpleasant experience. Meanwhile, he made radical changes to his diet and lifestyle. No longer would he eat “lunch baloney” every day. No more would he make daily trips to Carvel after work but before dinner. His wife would eliminate beef from the family diet, substituting turkey meat for meatballs, meatloaf, and sausage. He'd begin a homeopathic treatment of Chelation therapy several times a month to flush out his arteries. He'd exceed the two year life estimate by well over a decade and keep going.

With an outstanding work ethic passed down from his parents, he'd retire early and earn a full salary for some time thanks to decades of saved unused vacation days. He'd continue marching in various bands, retaining one pleasure from his youth. After high school he’d quit, but his wife got him a Baritone Horn on their first wedding anniversary after seeing some old year book photos, and his love of music would not only be rekindled, but he'd pass it on to his son. One cannot deny the social and cardiovascular benefits of various parades and feasts.

That's my dad. For all that he's considered “downhill” from middle to old age, he's kept going. His hearing's been getting progressively worse, and we occasionally have humorous misunderstandings when he responds as though my mom or I have said something else entirely. He has a bump on his left shoulder, non-cancerous, that doctors can't remove. All they can do is occasionally drain the fluid that causes it, but it seems to come back bigger each time. What was once the size of a golfball is now closer to a softball. At this rate he'll soon have a second head. His latest ailment is cataracts. There were warning signs that he probably missed, like specks he'd attribute to bits of paint spatter on his glasses, or the fact that the last time I let him drive me somewhere he couldn't see the lines in the road and made several involuntary and (for me) terrifying lane changes. It's getting progressively worse, and now he can't even see traffic lights.

For all his accomplishments, my dad has somehow never been able to memorize songs. On Saturday morning, at the first of four jobs we're playing this weekend, he consistently had to ask me what key various songs were in as he couldn't read the music. “It's all...cloudy.” Maybe he'll finally start memorizing, and on a few tunes he should know by now he didn't do too bad considering he could only see part of the page. He's having one of the eyes worked on in a few weeks, with the other scheduled for whenever he recovers from the first one.

My dad is 78 years old. His hearing and vision are failing, he's missing most of his teeth, at least one major artery is 98% clogged and he has a tennis ball-sized lump on his shoulder. He visits at least 3 or 4 different doctors a week and, not unlike my mother, takes a plethora of medications. Some treat his ailments while others compensate for side effects of those first medications. It's a delicate balance. In some ways, his cynical assessment that his life's been downhill for the past four decades is accurate, just as that professor in Crystal Skull was partially right in his assessment of life. But none of these things have really stopped my dad. Simple things are more challenging, but he still gets them done. Another musician in the band, a 75-year-old youngster chuckled about seeing young musicians lean against a car or sit down on a curb. I certainly get tired sometimes when we're just standing around waiting for a parade or a procession to begin, but watching the older generation makes me realize I have no excuse. If they can be on their feet for five hours, so can I.

Sometimes I look at the things my dad has to deal with, and depressingly realize that will probably be me someday. Sometimes I look at the things my dad accomplishes in spite of his problems, and hope that will be me someday.

Belated Sequels and the Kingdom of the Oversized Sicilian Melon

Wow, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was a lot of fun, with great humor, action, and nods to the previous films and television series. Although it has its flaws, it's still an entertaining ride. I could suspend my disbelief about most things in the movie, save for the use of one common household appliance, but perhaps I'm saying too much. It was great revisiting that world.

There's always understandable skepticism when filmmakers return to the well after so many years, and I know audiences will be divided over this fourth installment. Ultimately, I think it was a good execution of a good idea. But what of bad or unlikely sequels? I've speculated Belated Sequels before, and just when you think the topic is closed is when the time is ripe for another sequel to those posts. Consider:

1) W for Worcestershire: In this unexpected follow-up to V for Vendetta, a new protagonist dons the Guy Fawkes mask to stand up for a new cause: condiments. Can he turn the tide against a government contractually obligated to ketchup? Can he bring new flavor to a bland bureaucracy? A reckoning is at hand, and there will be accounting for bad taste....

2) Bee13 Movie: I admit, I haven't seen Bee Movie yet, but it seems like a no-brainer to convert one of the more colorful characters I know into a colorful CGI bee and let him tackle the voice work. Inspired by his hive-brother's adventures with humans in the first movie, and shunned by his 12 siblings for his obsession with human interests such as photography, Bee13 sets out on a journey to see the world outside, and show others how he sees things. It's a BEE with a CAMERA--a fun ride for the whole family!

3) Double Mocha Venti Me: Morgan Spurlock educated and disgusted millions of Americans with his hit documentary Super Size Me. Now, in a rare reality sequel, instead of a fast food only diet, Spurlock tackles coffee chains. See the man lose weight and act increasingly jittery as he survives on nothing but Starbucks for 30 days. You might never order twenty ounces of brown fluid again!

4) Great Grandson Kane: Move over, Citizen Kane! Rising star Shia LaBeouf takes on his greatest role yet. Heir to a great fortune, running a successful online sled store, Chuck Kane the 5th has everything he wants, and nothing he needs. Brittany Murphy takes a marvelous dramatic turn as a professor who teaches Kane that love and happiness can't be bought, only traded.

Across the Music Verse

Without marvelous renditions of The Beatles tunes, the tale recounted in Across the Universe probably would have taken about fifteen minutes and been a lot less engaging. It's a great idea though, taking a selection of a band's songs and crafting them into a cohesive musical. Pink Floyd: The Wall is probably the closest similar experience I've had, though Across the Universe is for the most part a brighter romance, with a few dips into darkness and drug-induced hallucinations. But it was mainly those classic songs and ballads that won me over.






Okay, some of the trippy stuff won me over too, like that Bono rendition of I Am the Walrus. It did get me thinking what tales could be found in other group's repertoires.

A Pearl Jam musical would no doubt follow the tragic life of a young boy named ”Jeremy”, with a stunning opening in which he takes his life in front of his whole class. We'd then be privy to a final fantasy captured in a split second between life and death, as he imagines a world in which he's still ”Alive”, knowing there are still ”Oceans” to cross. He might go through a ”Wishlist” of things he wanted in life, might crave ”Immortality”, but ultimately realize he's reached his ”Last Exit”.

Metallica's musical would follow ”One” war veteran, not quite right in the head from his experiences, lying in a ”Sanitarium”. Once released, he'd sing ”Wherever I May Roam” as a celebration of his freedom to go where he pleased, so long as he got enough ”Fuel”. In coming to terms with his past, he'd dub some people ”Unforgiven” as ”The Memory Remains”. Only when he forgives them can he find peace and sleep without nightmares. ”Enter Sandman”.

Bon Jovi perhaps has the best assortment of songs for such a treatment. Imagine the story of young Tommy and Gina, he working on the docks while she works in a diner all day. They'd just be ”Livin' On a Prayer”, but their love would keep them going. A tragic accident would introduce conflict when Tommy is nearly shot through the heart, and Gina is to blame. Recovering from surgery, he'd drive her away by telling her, ”You Give Love a Bad Name”. His survival is nothing short of miraculous, though in the aftermath he struggles with addiction to ”Bad Medicine”. Gine, after a mournful solo plea to ”Never Say Goodbye” becomes a bit of a ”Runaway”. She finds work in a ”Dry County”, while Tommy struggles with the ”Edge of a Broken Heart”. Ultimately he tracks her down, realizing his mistake, and serenades her with ”Born to Be My Baby”. The pair reconcile, recognizing that they need to ”Keep the Faith”, and the film closes with a montage of their wedding and subsequent journey to a honeymoon suite, where he lays her down in a ”Bed of Roses” as the doors close to give them privacy as the credits roll.

I can probably think of more, but something tells me I need to get some sleep so I can keep my day job. Maybe I'll revisit this theme someday, and certainly feel free to add your own modern musical ideas.

Two Much.

Two words.

Easy meme.

Kev Bayer:

1. Where is your cell phone?
Charging Up.

2. Where is your significant other?
Tell Me.

3. Your hair?
Shaved Down.

4. Your mother?
Gardening Fiend.

5. Your father?
Musical Mechanic.

6. Your favorite thing?
Having Friends.

7. Your dream last night?
Work Anxiety.

8. Your favorite drink?
Green Tea.

9. Your dream/goal?
Only One?

10. The room you're in?
My Bedroom.

11. Your hobby?
Watching Movies.

12. Your fear?
Fear Itself.

13. Where you want to be in 6 years?
Venice, Italy.

14. Where were you last night?
My Bedroom.

15. What you're not?
Remotely Normal.

16. Muffins?
Cat Names?

17. One of your wish list items?
Significant Other.

18. Where you grew up?
Long Island.

19. The last thing you did?
Watched Stardust.

20. What are you wearing?
Shorts. Shirt.

21. Your TV?
Living Room.

22. Your pets?
Two Cats.

23. Your computer?
My Life.

24. Your life?
My Computer.

25. Your mood?
Cautiously Content.

26. Missing someone?
Many People.

27. Your car?
Like New.

28. Something you're not wearing?
Any Socks.

29. Favorite store?
Best Buy®

30. Your Summer?
Bands Galore.

31. Like someone?
Dwindling List.

32. Your favorite color?
Blood Red.

33. When is the last time you laughed?
Just Now.

34. Last time you cried?
Terabitha. Quiet.

PBW: 'lings

I’m starting to notice the local geese accompanied by their much cuter and fuzzier young. I headed down to the water and got as close with my camera as protective parents would allow for this week’s Photo Blog Wednesday Along with goslings, I did find a batch of ducklings who huddled close to their mother and swam swiftly in tight formation to the safety of an island in the middle of a pond. Nature’s young heralds the true dawn of Spring, even if we are currently bombarded by rain.















Click the following images for photos from my last nature walk sized to fit your desktop:

MCF's Fall Couch Time

I'm not sure what I would have done if there was no Writer's Strike this season. Between returning old shows and a crop of new ones that proved too good not to add to my viewing habits, many conflicts kept my VCR whirring and my eyes blurring. But then the strike hit, and I had all this time to catch up on movies. In a few short months I've watched nearly 8 full seasons of Stargate SG-1. Somehow I maintained a balance between vegetating and exercise, taking advantage of increasingly warm days to walk as much as possible on my lunch hour at work. Oh, I still have a stack of DVDs on loan from B13 that remain untouched(sorry, Boy Eats Girl), not to mention a DVD set of From the Earth to the Moon that was a Christmas present from my cousin, but I'll get to those in good time. Most of the shows that returned after the strike have concluded, and once Reaper and Lost air their respective finales, I'm pretty much done with television for a few months. Now's the time to put a dent in my DVD stack, because television is going to be returning with a vengeance, if The Futon Critic is any indication.

DELETED!:

Of the new shows which debuted during this turbulent season, New Amsterdam is the only casualty on my list of must-see shows. I'm surprised FOX only took out one new show that I liked, but next year they'll have at least two opportunities to grab me then cut me loose. We'll get to that shortly. I watched every episode of the now canceled Bionic Woman update, and I can't say I'll miss it. I forced myself through one episode apiece of Cavemen and Carpoolers, and my only real surprise was that those shows lasted beyond one episode. Somehow I blinked and missed Miss Guided, a shame as I've been a fan of Judy Greer since The Specials. I suspect I would have enjoyed Journeyman as well, but I was watching way too much on Monday nights already. I never saw Jericho, but I do feel bad for the fans. The only thing worse than having your favorite show get canceled is having it get canceled and saving it through heroic efforts only to have it get canceled again. Ouch.

BACK IN THE SADDLE AGAIN!:

I'm glad these old favorites will still be around:

The Simpsons
Family Guy
How I Met Your Mother
Heroes
Prison Break
24
Lost
Scrubs
The Office
30 Rock
My Name is Earl
Smallville
Supernatural

I'm glad Scrubs will be getting a proper finale and if I've stuck with Smallville this long, I can make it through their final season as well, even if their strongest actors, Rosenbaum and Glover, have left the show and Doomsday is going to be showing up way too soon. The kid, now in his 20s, still can't fly, hasn't gone to college or left his farm, but his enemy next season is the guy that killed him in the comics? And yet, I'm still going to watch every episode. Earl was a little uneven after the strike with a drawn-out coma/sitcom fantasy subplot, but the finale set things up nicely for next season to get back to normal. I'd say Heroes, Lost, Supernatural, How I Met Your Mother and The Office are the strongest shows in this list, and I have high hopes for Prison Break and 30 Rock to continue to deliver as well. I also hope I can get back into 24 after what feels like two years.

NOT QUITE DEAD YET!:

The Freshman shows didn't have much time to prove themselves, but I'm glad all of these will have a chance at being Sophomores, either in the Fall or midseason:

Chuck
Reaper
Pushing Daisies
Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles

If Supernatural was my new X-Files, then Reaper is my new Buffy. The show's really evolved and developed all of the characters and their relationships, moving beyond a “monster of the week” formula toward wider story arcs about the trials and tribulations of a boy whose parents sold his soul to the devil. Pushing Daisies was so charming, quirky, and unique, that I'm pleasantly surprised it's still around. Chuck fell on Mondays, and I really watched enough that night as it was, but with enough convincing from Rey I had to check it out and was subsequently hooked by the story of a geek caught up in government intrigue. And it's soon to be a comic as well! Chuck cast member Adam Baldwin is a great actor with a horrible track record of canceled series, so I'm glad both he and Chuck are sticking around. Baldwin's former Firefly costar Summer Glau kicked serious badass in The Sarah Connor Chronicles, even working her ballet skills into the mix, and I'm hoping a little thing like a massive explosion isn't enough to put a dent in her character's futuristic robotic frame.

NEW ARE YOU? NEW NEW!:

It almost seems unnecessary to bring in new shows next year as we barely got a taste of the new ones this year. I'm sure I'll be adding to this list as I learn more about the new shows, but a few have piqued my curiosity thus far. Dollhouse is a new Joss Whedon project that stars Eliza Dushku, Amy Acker, and Tahmoh Penikett, and those names are all I need to know to tune in. Fringe is a new J.J. Abrams joint, and that too is enough information for me to check it out. The Knight Rider TV Movie was decent enough for me to try the ongoing series, even if it does turn out as bad as 2007's Bionic Woman. At the very least its failure might pave the way for a proper feature film. Do we really need a Prison Break spinoff, a Family Guy spinoff, and an Office spinoff? I love the originals but wonder if this slew of spinoffs won't dilute what makes them good. I'll definitely find out of course, but I'll probably avoid the next generation of 90210. And SNL Thursday Night Live? Really? Does that even make sense if you spell out that particular acronym? One wonders if the TV folks are running out of ideas with all these remakes(and all the reality shows and game shows I don't watch). Then I read that Robocop and Red Dawn are both being considered for remakes, and I realize some people in the movie business have the same problem.

PHEW!:

If anyone needs me, I'll be getting phat on the couch...