Reset Button

After church on Saturday, my mom asked me if I'd be able to feed the cats and take care of the house if she and my father took a trip. I reminded her that I'd already done so about seven years ago when they went to Florida for three or four days. I was a lot younger and a lot more irresponsible, and I didn't throw a wild party, burn down the house, or forget to feed the cats. I asked her where they were thinking of going, and she simply mused, “maybe we should go to Italy before it's too late.”

My dad never really liked to travel and I don't think he'd been out of New York before that Florida trip on his 70th birthday. My mom went on one or two vacations when she was younger, all on or near the East coast. Their honeymoon was spent in Pennsylvania in scenic Amish places, and was only a few days because my dad was concerned with getting back to his garage. If anyone deserves a real vacation it's my folks, and they've talked about Italy for years. I hope they do make it happen, and I'll do my part to hold down the fort at home. Lord knows they need to go somewhere other than supermarkets and doctor’s offices.

No one gets younger. Most of us stay busy enough that we don't think about the fact that we're dying from the moment we're born. There's no reset button like in video games, and no magic way to wipe the slate clean like in bad comic books. Deterioration is all around us, from minor cosmetic concerns such as increased weight and decreased hair, to more serious mental and physical reductions. My mom called one of her brothers on Saturday morning to tell him she'd be bringing over rice pudding and birthday presents. About ten minutes after they left, he called and left a message, a faint voice wondering what she was baking and where she was. “I...guess you're on your way...” he finally concluded, trailing off. Within seconds of hanging up, the phone rang again. Soon he was leaving a very similar “where are you?” message, as though he completely forgot that he'd already done so.

On Saturday night, I watched 1991’s Regarding Henry, definitely one of Harrison Ford's finer non-franchise roles. He plays a lawyer, and generally not a nice guy. He defends big business against the little guy, barely tolerates his daughter, and puts on a facade of a happy marriage when going to dinner with his wife and her friends. When he's shot in the head by John Leguizamo during a robbery, he's forced to start over. It's the ultimate story of a reset button, a rare opportunity in tragedy. He must learn to walk, talk, read, and meet people he doesn't remember. In a tale I later learned was penned by J.J. Abrams, a clean slate proves to be the best thing for Ford's character and those around him.

We don't get to start over, and life is a one way street. The past shapes us, and it’s important to remember, but there are dangers in dwelling on our history too much. I wouldn't sacrifice any of my memories to start fresh. Much like Robin Williams in The Final Cut though, I think we tend to snip and edit and focus on the good times, as well we should. Second chances are rare to nonexistent. Enjoy the good times of yesterday, and plan good things to look forward to tomorrow and beyond.