MCF's Random Observations
1. When I get home at 5:30 in the afternoon and the sun is still shining, it feels like I've only worked half a day. A man could get used to this...
2. Geese drinking from puddles by the side of the road point their beaks straight up, and wait a few seconds for the water to go down their long throats.
3. I walked three miles to a bagel store in the middle of nowhere and got a chicken parmesan sandwich with no sauce from a Chinese woman who told me they were out of sauce. What are the odds?
4. When your new company lacks a gym, walking six miles at lunch is an excellent idea.
5. When you walk six miles at lunch, then notice in a restroom mirror that the back of your dress shirt is soaking wet, the friendly smile of a cute girl in a hallway a few minutes prior suddenly hurts.
6. Forget a perfect physique; my new attainable goal is to eat at a different place every day. With the exception of one pizzeria, I haven't been to the same place twice.
7. I'm going to get so fat now.
8. Geese crossing the street don't run. One or two cast an annoyed glance at your car, but most continue strolling at a leisurely pace as though you weren't there.
9. I enjoy a free cup of hot tea every day at 10 AM and 4 PM. Am I growing up or becoming British?
10. I thought I was free of Quark XPress. I hate that the newer version got rid of old glitches and added new ones, like if you paste an item and click off it, it may disappear from existence because of some weird layer compatibility thing. I also hate crashing and losing a unsaved work because it doesn't keep a cache like InDesign. I miss drop shadows and the ability to treat guides as objects. Quark has improved in many ways, yet at least once I day I find myself starting a sentence with, “You know, if you folks had InDesign, you could...”
11. I wonder if the preceding observation meant anything to more than four of my readers.
12. “Well I'm not paralyzed, but I seem to be struck by you. I want to make you move, because you're standing still.” Great lyrics:
13. Is it just me, or has this cold made my voice ridiculously deep and sexy? Is it gay to think your own voice sounds hot? Why are there no girls in my car to hear this and confirm?
14. Life is a bucket. We don't want the bucket to be empty, so we fill it with things, anything, because an empty bucket is boring. Sometimes we forget that there's more to life than what we've put in the bucket, until someone pokes a hole and drains it. The trick then as we refill is to consider those things we've forgotten, and fit some of them in if possible.
15. Metaphors are like a game of chess; you must think first, before you move.
16. That last one was nonsense, just me paraphrasing the Wu.
17. What kind of person leaves loose change, loose sugar, proof of jury service, and an old pay stub among other things in her desk drawers when leaving a job? When I was through, a black light wouldn't have revealed anything in my old desk.
18. Only a few weeks until new episodes of many of my favorite shows? Alas sweet escapism, I knew them...
19. A thickshake or any kind of frozen treat should probably be ordered as an after thought before leaving a fast food establishment, because the employees never grasp the concept that if they make that first and then wait for the hot food to cook, the dessert is going to melt by the time they give you your full order.
20. I'm seriously going to get fat.
21. No stairs. In my last job, I opted for stairs over elevators as much as possible. My new office is all one floor. Stairs added a nice bit of exercise to the day.
22. Superbad was hilarious. On a message board discussing the film, someone posed the question, “How do nerds get girlfriends?” I can answer that one: By being fictional characters.
23. I need to come up with more things to say when passing people in the hall besides “Hey.”, “How's it going?”, “How are you doing?” and of course the barely audible hybrids like “Hnh, How you going?” when it's a pretty girl.
24. I need to start remembering people's names.
25. Creativity is inversely proportionate to boredom and business. Having too much to do can leave one frazzled and uninspired, while having too little to do can awaken unused parts of the brain thought to be burned out.
26. Is it weird that I think the music on those anti-piracy ads at the beginning of DVDs is a phat tune to dance to?
27. Do people still say “phat”? Is it outdated or just something I'm not likely to hear in an office?
28. Thursday is Free Ice Cream Day. A truck parks in front of our office and for two hours we can have anything they've got. Where am I?
29. I saw a sign in a nice neighborhood that said “Drive Carefully. We [heart] our children.” So if they didn't love their kids, could I totally run them over?
30. Why does it seem like every movie I get from Netflix lately has Jerry O'Connell? Coincidence, or did I order films by some theme I've since forgotten?
31. Old man running down hill with no shirt and a six pack every morning on my commute: I won't be him when I'm 80. I'll be the other old man I saw a few feet later, limbs flailing, eyes bulging, man breasts sagging, and a serious expression of “Why the hell did I try this; I'm about to drop dead!”
32. Jessica Alba plays a stripper in Sin City and keeps her clothes on. Alyssa Milano plays a stripper in Buying the Cow and also keeps her clothes on. What's up with that?
33. A rich neighborhood might have plenty of high end boutiques and car dealerships, but there are like no places to eat when a Sicilian brother wants to get his fast food on! Word is bond!
34. I'm bringing “word is bond” back. And “phat”.
35. Should I fly to Los Angeles and find my a##hole brother? Sorry, radio tangent...
36. If you were to age Danny Trejo, he would bear a remarkable resemblance to Edward James Olmos.
37. Movie nachos are nastier than I remember. Didn't they once have salt? Was the cheese not spicy? Did nostalgia tint my memories?
38. One should never order pizza from a place that serves primarily yogurt, but added a pizza counter in the back helmed by a man with an unidentifiable accent.
39. Showing a trailer for Feast of Love before the new Halloween strikes me as odd. If there are any horror or supernatural elements in the movie, I didn't notice. Or maybe a romantic introspective comedy is the only thing that would scare gore fans.
40. Saw IV? Explain. My money is on an android.
41. Not to be gross, but movie cheese is made of phlegm; I'm sure of it.
42. The phrase “not to be gross” does nothing to soften whatever statement might follow it.
43. I'm at that age where I wonder why kids are still out in the street, even though it's a Friday night before their last long weekend before going back to school.
44. I'm also at that age where I consider putting on my mask and standing in the shadows of nearby trees, waiting for the kids to notice and get scared. That's not weird, is it?
45. It's nice when a company closes early before a holiday weekend. It's nicer when a boss realizes a new employee isn't on all the e-mail memos yet and pops his head in to say, “The company closed ten minutes ago; have a great weekend!”
46. I'm home.
47. ”...is the quintessential random number.”
48. I think once the music season settles down, I’m going to have to take my camera on a road trip. It’s been a while since I’ve had a real photo adventure.
49. I'm definitely not coming up with 120 of these. I think 50 is a good number; I can always write a sequel in the future.
50. Sex. (I figured I'd end on a happy observation. ;))
Labels: Random Observations
posted by MCF at 12:27 AM
9 Comments:
40. Saw IV? Explain.
"The analyst figures that "Saw IV" will bring in $70 million and be Lionsgate's biggest movie of fiscal 2008."
You didn't think this movie was being made for artistic purposes, did you?
10. I totally know where you're coming from. Lucky for me, my new company uses InDesign. Yay!! I've done more designing in one week here than my whole career at the span.
It didn't take me long to do the 120 but I also tried to keep observations to their own numbers. So where as you have a paragraph for number 10 since its a topical observation I would've had maybe 5 observations. I should do it again.
Well to answer number 23, you could tell them what time it is! See number 22 to make sense of this answer if you've already forgotten.
I also completely agree with number 25. When I worked a factory job, I was so bored I used to come up with all kinds of creative ideas. Then when I got an office job and was busy, it was like my creativity dried up.
OMG! I have tears in my eyes. One of the funniest posts I have read from you.
#5. Bring a tshirt to change into at lunch.
#7. Welcome to the club.
#17. I feel a little safer about checking your drawer for a pen now.
#23. Remember... it's Deloris... not Mulva.
#39. I REALLY liked Halloween. Zombie did it well.
#50. Give me my sock back... on second thought... keep it.
D: For all the gorefest, there actually was an artistic element to the trilogy and the villain Jigsaw had the complexity of a Batman rogue. Given that the actor has signed on for another THREE sequels though, I think you've answered my question.
'chele: Sure you have InDesign, but do they give you free ice cream? ;) Conrats on the new job!
Rey: Good point. 10 became a paragraph for exactly the reason you cited, since only 4(or I guess 5) readers would appreciate that one. I'm looking forward to the next list you compile though; it's long overdue.
Lyndon: I am McLovin that idea!
B13: The t-shirt suggestion isn't bad...I've been mostly driving now but maybe I should start taking walks when I get home since I get home while the sun is still out now.
Careful, you might find the sock instead of a pen if you check my drawers...
Ohhhh! Deloris!
Random responses right back atcha..
Why did they feel the need to make another Halloween, and release it in August no less?
Did I miss something or did we not hear your voice to make a fair judgment call on how "sexy" it is? If I did miss it, are you planning on bringing sexy back?
Mentions of Quark Press gave me seriously bad flashbacks to my college days. Thanks so much for that:)
Janet, ask and ye shall receive:
Why did they feel the need to make another Halloween, and release it in August no less?
"They" is Rob Zombie, and he felt that the concept had been diluted through a slew of bad sequels, and his vision of the original focused more on the killer's perspective than the babysitter. He spent more time on Michael's childhood(almost too much) and managed to make us almost sympathize with with the stabby Shatner-faced killer. I don't know that it NEEDED to be remade, but he did a good job with it. The Aug. 31 date puzzled me too, and I can only assume that they feared competition with Saw IV by releasing it at a more logical time. This way they get the Labor Day weekend audience, kids about to go back to school seeing the only horror movie that's out. That'd be my guess.
Did I miss something or did we not hear your voice to make a fair judgment call on how "sexy" it is? If I did miss it, are you planning on bringing sexy back?
While my speaking voice has been heard on the Nexus before, you are correct that I didn't provide a clip of my sexy sick singing voice. The next time I have a cold, I'll have to send you a demo tape and you can tell me how I sound. :)
Mentions of Quark Press gave me seriously bad flashbacks to my college days. Thanks so much for that:)
You're welcome. And while you flash back to college, I only flash back a few months. I've been steadily using the program for well over a decade now.
I thought 42 was the queintesssential random number; 47 is the meaning of life.
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