T.I.L.T. Things I've Learned Thursday XIV

How many editions of Things I've Learned Thursday will there be? I’m thinking of a nice round number like 100, at which point we’ll reveal our secret identities. Or not. You won’t know if you don’t keep reading...

* Sadly, we are now in a world without one man, the inimitable voice maestro Don LaFontaine.

* The ones you don't want, want you. The ones you want are taken.

* ROM does not **** around.

* Autopilot is possibly the second greatest coping mechanism human beings possess. Humor is first.

* Always check your rearview mirror before stopping for a red light. I'd never suggest that anyone break the law, but after being rear-ended on two separate occasions in my old car, I've learned that the person behind you may not always be so inclined to obey the lights. Of course the second time I got hit, I wasn't first in line and there were eight other cars stopped in front of me, so there was no way to avoid the stupidity of the driver behind me.

* It's not a good idea to vote for a politician because he or she is a gifted public speaker. It's not a good idea to vote for a politician because he or she shares your faith, race, or gender. It's not a good idea to hold the actions of a politician's family members against them. Usually, the best way to make a decision is to run down a list of issues that are important to you, and find the candidate who shares the most views with you. There are a lot of good reasons to cast a vote, but often these things break down into popularity contests or choosing the lesser of two evils. And that's all I'm going to say about that.

* Never grab a cheese grater by the pointy part. Common sense perhaps, but one never knows.

* If you feel a weird twinge in your back, a collapsed lung shouldn't be your first thought, especially if you were on your back working under your car a day earlier.

* A trivet is more commonly known as a “hot plate”, and can be anything from a wooden disk to an expandable metal frame that acts as a landing space for a hot dish of food, intervening between the dish and table or countertop. I never heard the word trivet until about a month ago when I had to design an ad for one. I don't know if that's a guy thing or a guy-who-hasn't-had-to-furnish-his-own-kitchen-yet thing, but my coworkers were surprised when I didn't know what it was.

* If the urinal doesn't flush in a public restroom, it's an excellent idea to check if the sinks are working before putting liquid soap on your hands. Hypothetically speaking, of course...