Incomprehensible

I don't understand how I can get up early after a full night's sleep, and still leave for work at the exact same time. I think psychologically I take longer to do things because I'm aware that there's more time. I also know my clocks are set fast so they don’t fool me anymore.

Traffic mystifies and vexes me. It bothers me that one can be zipping along, round a bend on a single lane road, and suddenly be at a dead stop, inching forward in minute amounts as 15 minutes elapse.

Heat. Enough already. Something solid in my car actually melted; tune in tomorrow for photos.

Explain the grunting that weightlifters do. Are they exceeding their limits? Is it that heavy? Is it some primitive mating call to attract females? It honestly sounds like their straining at a bowel movement, and it's always followed by a loud crash as they let the barbell drop. Do women like that? Should I be doing that? I'm self-conscious if I exhale too loudly.

Is the grass ever browner or patchier on the other side?

I saw a trailer for Starship Troopers 3. I had no idea there was a second movie. I can't believe Casper Van Dien has nothing better to do than return to a pretty awful-looking direct-to-DVD sequel. Actually, that I can comprehend. Jolene Blalock can surely do better though, no?

What's with all the trolls whose sole purpose on IMDB seems to bash popular movies? I understand the cry for attention, the guarantee that hating on something as universally acclaimed as The Dark Knight will prompt responses. I see this phenomenon on a lot of boards for a lot of films and television series. Often, the “discussion” degrades into way off-topic sparring about religion or politics with remarks like “I should have expected that from an American” or “That's just like you Christians”. I don't get it, and I have no desire to participate in such discussions. Blogs seem to be a much more civilized environment for the most part.

Speaking of going off-topic, my literature memory may be a little rusty but the recent computer-animated Beowulf contained a lot more burning crosses than I remembered from the old English version, and Malkovich's Unferth is portrayed as the sole voice of Christianity, though he's shown as an unfavorable jerk who mistreats his servant, and schemes to undermine Beowulf out of jealousy. There's a point in the movie where Unferth suggests the new God over their old pantheon, and the king muses that they don't need any god; they need a hero. These all seemed to be stranger choices on the part of Zemeckis than the way he tied the dragon in the third act to the first two acts. Even though that last bit isn't faithful to the original tale either, it at least made sense from a narrative standpoint in telling one cohesive story.

It's dark out; why is it still so damn hot?

Life.

Some people have something interesting or significant to say every day. How is this possible? Help me comprehend the incomprehensible.