Ay to Zee

Saw this over at Kev Bayer's:

Accent: Nasal and whiny Long Island nerd; think Pidge from Voltron. (Side note: I just read that Pidge was voiced by Billy West, Futurama's Fry among other characters and of course the Honey Nut Cheerios Bee. I can't believe I never made that connection before.)

Breakfast or no breakfast: And, speaking of cereal, I don't leave the house without having a bowl or three.

Chore I don't care for: I'm not a fan of mowing the lawn. I like the fresh air and exercise, and I certainly wouldn't make my elderly father or asthmatic mother do it, but some days it's rough pushing that thing up hills, and the grass clippings always make my eyes tear and give me sneezing fits until I've taken a proper shower and blown my nose a dozen times.

Dog or Cat: You're new here if you expected anything other than “cat”. My mom's always had cats; they were essentially my “siblings” growing up. There's nothing like coming home after a hard day of work and talking to one's parents while the cat tries to get your attention, jumping on the kitchen table and eventually standing up and resting his front paws on your shoulder until you acknowledge him and scratch behind his ears.

Essential Electronics: I honestly can't remember life before the internet, but I guess the television is the natural second after my computer. These days I use both devices in conjunction with one another, researching shows and reading message boards about them.

Favorite Cologne: I don't really use anything beyond a strong antiperspirant, although I did used to use a splash of this stuff called Gravity that drove my ex-girlfriend crazy as she shed her quiet, bookish facade and turned into a lascivious....actually, I'm not going to finish this thought.

Gold or Silver: Platinum!
(What else would you expect from this geek?)

Handtools or powertools: Sometimes, there's no substitute for leverage and exertion. Other times I'll use an electric screwdriver and marvel at how much time it saves. Like Kev said in his answer, it depends on the job. Last Summer I was glad of that electric screwdriver when I built a new gate for my dad's lot. But there are bolts in cars that are best removed with a ratchet, especially in tight spots where we couldn't fit anything bigger.

Insomnia: Not in years. I used to lie awake worrying about homework and tests when I was a kid, but now I stay up late so regularly that when I do finally shut down for the night, I'm out almost as soon as my head hits the pillow.

Job Title: Art Director.

Kids: I hope not. ;-) Actually, I wouldn't mind a son someday to carry on our family name and honor my parents, but I'd have to find a woman that would not only put up with me, but have the right genetics to counter mine so the kid didn't turn out to be another me. I don't think I could handle the kind of brat I was. The older I get and more I see kids running rampant in shopping malls though, the less certain I am that I want a family.

Living Arrangements: Two older roommates that gave me life and now can't get rid of me.

Most Admirable Trait: I always try to put others before myself. I don't always succeed mind you, but trying puts me ahead of a lot of the people I encounter in the world.

Naughtiest Childhood Behavior: Wow, this could be a post in itself. I once climbed out a second story window in the fourth grade. I started a food fight in third grade. I used to gross out other kids by putting my handkerchief in my mouth. I once spun an entire roll of toilet paper into the toilet and flushed, flooding the music classroom. I used to be addicted to a sex hotline until my mom got the phone bill. During mass, I used to get bored, slide down on to the floor, and crawl under the pews. I could never keep quiet when parents or other relatives asked me to stop chattering. In high school it took me at least 3 hours to do my homework, and on weekends I'd often let it slide until late Sunday and go out and play on Friday. I guess that's enough. Man, why do people want kids?

Overnight hospital stays: When I was 25, I spent 11 days in the hospital due to a rare birth defect called a Meckel's diverticulum. Because it only affects 2% of the population and is normally detected in infants, it took the doctors a few days to diagnose. It didn't help that I went in on a Friday night. It wasn't one of my better experiences, although the surgery did get me out of work for a month.

Phobias: The on-again off-again spells I get while driving might suggest a fear of being behind the wheel, but the actual fear is losing control and passing out during a situation in which passing out would be bad. If traffic is good and I'm distracted or thinking about other things, I'm usually fine. Ultimately, the fear is “What if it happens?” which causes it to happen. I fear fear itself. My main phobia used to be dogs, although friends like B13 have helped me overcome that. I'm fine with trained animals in controlled conditions, where they know I'm no threat to their owners. I still remember the Dogless Route of my childhood, the dreaded streets where the jingle of change in my pocket could just as easily be the jingle of a collar as a toothy monster gave chase. When I go on nature hikes, I'm actually more concerned that the rustling in the underbrush is a savage stray dog than any other wildlife.

Quote: “Seriously; FIFTY!”

Reason to smile: The Simpsons, Family Guy, The Office, Scrubs, yadayadayada, bing bang boom, Seinfeld.

Siblings: Only child, raised with cats.

Time I wake up: Wake up? 7:30 AM. From there it could take about 15-20 minutes to get to my feet and trudge out to the kitchen.

Unusual Talent or Skill: I can play the Baritone Horn just like ringing a bell. Actually, I can play the Baritone Horn just like playing a Baritone Horn, which seems good enough for all the band leaders that keep booking me for gigs.

Vegetable I Refuse to Eat: It would be quicker to list the ones I do eat, lettuce, tomato, potato and occasionally carrot sticks. Broccoli tops the list of everything else I refuse to eat. She denies it to this day, but I swear my mom once tried to trick me by mashing Broccoli and disguising it as potatoes. Either that, or it was just a bad batch of potatoes.

Worst Habit: Procrastination combined with being a packrat. Clutter piles up but I don't get to it right away. I go through stacks of junk mail every month or three, as I pick out the mail I want and leave the rest in a basket in the hall. When I come home from work, my clothes go on the floor and I don't gather them up until I do laundry on the weekend. I do have a hamper, but I normally have it turned upside down so I can keep a small fan elevated. Did I say procrastination? I'm a pig; that's my worst habit. People who've seen me eat know what I'm saying.

X-rays: Intestines, obviously, a few chest x-rays, an x-ray of my fingers when I jammed one playing dodgeball in the seventh grade, and of course dental x-rays once a year. I still haven't developed powers.

Yummy Stuff: Doritos, Quizno's, Cozymel's, Cookies ‘n' Cream, Kit Kat, Milanos, and much, much more. This is why the gym does nothing.

Zoo Animal I Like Most: I like The Gorilla. I like the high forehead and contemplative gaze. I like how the young ones hang from the big ones. I have this awesome postcard of one that my ex-girlfriend bought me when I took her to the Bronx Zoo. I don't know why I was so enamored, but for some reason I identified with the big hairy beast with the intelligent facade. I always like seeing monkeys, except for the whole deterrent of poo-flinging. If I had to pick a second favorite, it would be the creatures that I only recently learned existed, the Axolotl. Those things are wonderfully freakish and weird...like me!