Happystance

Lately, whenever I'm in a grumpy mood or give my mom a terse reply, she says my new nickname should be “happiness”. Is true happiness attainable though? Can any person, possession, or position in life make us happy? I don't think it's all that difficult to attain, but hanging on to it is the tricky part. Nothing in this world lasts forever. Relationships fade, possessions deteriorate or can be lost, and familiar and safe routines become monotonous, though we'd still silently mourn for those routines if they were taken from us somehow.

B13 made a case on Thursday that I should buy a new car, dip into my savings, and “start enjoying [my] life.” I know he's working toward a new vehicle and would find happiness in it, hence his stance on the subject. For now, my car gets me to and from work and has great gas mileage, so I'd rather keep my money in other investments earning interest toward my eventual larger goal of a house.

What makes me happy? I like writing. I like playing music. I enjoy television shows, and joking around with my friends. A good meal can be very satisfying, though the results of too many good meals can be discouraging. I'm happy when the temperature outside is just right, and when I find places of solitude. A street full of pretty girls in sun dresses on a Summer day isn’t too bad either. An entire episode of Frasier was once dedicated to the deceptively simple question of “Are you happy?” Life has ups and downs for a reason. In order to know if we're happy, I think we need to endure periods of unhappiness, so we have something to compare it to. Some times relatively better than other times are happy times.

External things and situations might act as catalysts for joy, but the emotion has to come from within. There's a danger in seeking happiness from outside sources. In a third-season episode of Scrubs, after three years of suffering and finally landing Elliot, the girl of his dreams, J.D. realizes he doesn't love her, that he only wanted her because he couldn't have her. Once he had her, though they were a perfect match, his feelings were not as strong. Whether these two characters end up together is a question for the seventh season to resolve, but the larger lesson is that reality doesn't always compete with fantasy. When we invest too much value on things, we might be disappointed once we finally get them.

Of course, we should have goals. I still want a house, a new car, a wife, kids, a monkey, a robot, and all those other things that make up your basic American dream. I'll fantasize about big barbecue grills, automatic garage door openers, and steering my own boat through blue waters in some tropical paradise. There's a lot of things I haven't done or gotten yet, but when I look at the overall picture I have to say I'm pretty lucky, and generally happy. Things not only could be worse; things have been worse, and I've survived.

It all comes down to attitude, and our stance on how things are. A friend of mine, on the verge of starting a new job and changing careers, recently confessed concern that they'd supply him with a laptop PC, because he only had a Mac at home and would prefer to take work back to his apartment rather than put in late hours at the office. He hasn't even started the job, and he's already worried about working late. I think we should definitely think about the future, plan for it, and be prepared for it, but worrying accomplishes nothing. All things pass, not just good things, and every bridge is crossed, one way or another. You can have everything and be miserable, or have nothing and be ecstatic. Ultimately, the stuff you have makes you happy for a little while, but the way you feel can make you happy no matter what.