Phantasmic Links 8.6.07

I wasn't expecting much from The Marine, so I was surprised at how much fun it was. It's your basic dumb, suspend-your-disbelief action flick, the kind of movie Schwarzenegger would have made in the ‘80s, and the kind of movie The Rock should be making now. The Game Plan? Why, Dwayne, WHY? At least Shazam! is an encouraging possibility...

The Marine also features a wrestler, John Cena, who looks like a cross between Matt Damon, Mark Wahlberg and steroids. Robert Patrick doesn't take the film too seriously as he hams it up as the villain, Kelly Carlson and Abigail Bianca provide eye candy, and Anthony Ray Parker provides comic relief. Expect people to survive massive digital explosions, cars to continue driving after being riddled with bullets and losing chassis parts, and a lot of fake martial arts and wrestling moves. Sometimes, mindless entertainment is a welcome break from more sophisticated things.

Another welcome break was my job on Sunday. After a wedding, we waited for the bride, groom, and guests to arrive at a reception hall while we played Italian songs on the sidewalk. Once everyone was there, we followed them inside, played a few tunes on the dance floor, and marched out while a DJ took over. I'm used to processions ranging from three hours at best to twelve hours at their worst, so it was nice to be free in less than an hour. The traffic coming home was a different story, but the aforementioned movie removed any stress from driving, and left me in a relaxed mood by the time I settled down to gather this week's PHANTASMIC LINKS:

I find myself obsessed with Sprinter. My “Roman hands and Russian fingers” get me through five races, but the sixth has vexed me for days. If anyone beats the aliens, I'd love to see some screen shots.

Dubya got mad beat box skills, son! Hat tip: B13.

Extreme skateboarder Jake Brown fell forty feet in front of a shocked audience, and you'll have to click the link to see what happened next. HT: Rey. (Also posted at Sean's.)

This is what it would look like if I walked to work every day.

Meet TRON Guy, A.K.A. “People who shouldn't wear skintight clothing for $1,000, Alex!”

Now you can watch the U.S. Civil War in 4 minutes! What did students do before the internet?

Who expects to run into a homemade submarine?

The Radioactive Boy Scout strikes again, and steals smoke detectors for his dastardly experiments. Zounds!

Terminator sex positions are probably NSFW, and represent either fine art or a new low(high?) in geekiness, especially since I checked some of the binary code and it all translates.

This is what I'm like after a Happy Hour. HT: B13

Lyndon posted an awesome and hilarious edit of one of my favorite classic Transformers episodes.

I'll conclude with another racing game, one I did have the skill to win. Simply steer your car and worry not about braking or accelerating; you have control of neither.

Have a link to a game, movie, article, or anything else you think might be “phantasmic”? E-mail me and it just might appear in an upcoming PHANTASMIC LINKS!