Explain to me...

...how a story could spread across the internet like wildfire, only to be proven a rumor the next morning?

...why my improbability powers worked in reverse at lunch? I had a meeting at 2 o'clock, so I took my own car. Despite my parents complaining about my speed and reckless driving, gripping the dashboard melodramatically, my friends complain that I drive like the elderly(sorry elderly; they said it, not me). Yet, for once I got to Best Buy® first, got an amazing parking spot at Wendy's, and made it back in time for my meeting. The real sobering portion of this story occurs well after my meeting, when my other friends returned at 2:30 due to car trouble. I wasn't with them when this happened, and didn't miss my meeting? What are the odds?!

...how for the past year-and-a-half I've been watching an average of 5 or 6 movies a week, yet can still have nothing to add to a lunch conversation when people bring up movies I haven't seen yet. There are too many movies!

...why I write 10,000 words or more each week, between this blog, e-mails, comments, message boards and my class, but my conversational skills with girls generally consist of “nice weather” followed by awkward silence, on those rare occasions when the silence is preceded by anything?

...what I need to do to really start pushing myself in the gym? Looping the theme to The Flash in my brain in keeping with the sound of my feet pounding on the treadmill has helped, yesterday and today, and I'm finally running faster than 6 MPH again. The problem is I can't maintain those old speeds, and in a half hour I still haven't done better than 2:52 miles. Today I did 2:51 and I was cursing myself for not doing as good as I did yesterday. I guess it will just take time to work back to where I was, but it can be very frustrating.

...why Scrubs doesn't get the promotion it deserves? I had to read online that the Wizard of Oz themed episode tonight was the series' 100th. It was really brilliant how the elements were planted in the first half of the episode to pay off in the second.

...why there was no gratuitous cameo by Emmanuel Lewis in tonight’s Scrubs? All the Webster references tonight were screaming for one.

...speaking of Scrubs, borrowing an observation made by John C. McGinley's character tonight, why DO so many guys carry cell phones in a belt holster when most of them will fit in their pocket mere inches away? Will they lose that much time getting the phone out? Phones are pretty compact these days, so they can't be worried about an unsightly disruption of the contours, can they? I personally keep mine in my right pocket, but I also carry a thick wallet creating an unsightly disruption in the contours of my left leg.

...why I just shared with the world the fact that I carry a Costanza wallet?

... why after being killed, thrown in the ocean, washed up on the beach, buried in sand, vacuumed, and dragged by a speeding boat, Terry Kiser's title character in Weekend at Bernie's didn't smell, and remained limber enough for Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman to carry him around and pose him? I'm guessing the answer has to do with everyone being drunk and oblivious, the manner of his death, or the fact that it's just a dumb ‘80s comedy that should be accepted for what it is and not overanalyzed. The good news is that after using Terry Kiser as one of my favorite obscure references for years, I've now seen him in perhaps his most famous film role, and not just guest roles on shows like Lois & Clark and Night Court. The bad news is that tomorrow night I'll be watching the sequel.

...what I'm doing working on a blog entry, and not this week's reading or writing assignments for class? It's a good thing we get a week to do these things, with a weekend in between, because I've really been relying on Sunday afternoons to focus on a Tuesday class.

...who you are and why you're reading this?