1.20.2006

Defining Life.

At lunch today, I mused that between my writing class and other factors, I wasn't getting through as many DVDs per week as I had been, and so I'd switched my Netflix subscription from 4-at-a-time to 3-at-a-time. My colleague TheWriteJerry quipped that it will be even harder to watch that many movies once I “got a life”. I've always found that to be an interesting expression, the inclination of people to define life with certain benchmarks. I think the first time I saw the expression was when a classmate scrawled the phrase in the back of my sixth-grade yearbook. A few years later, the series ”Get a Life” would debut, in which Chris Elliot portrayed a man who, at the age of 30, still lived with his parents and had a paper route. I remember thinking, “that will NEVER be me”, and I'm proud to say I don't currently ride a bike and throw newspapers in people's yards.

I think life has to be measured by setting and reaching our own goals, not those of others. When I was a kid, having a life meant going to parties, drinking, and/or doing drugs, according to the “cool” crowd. Most adults define life as settling down, getting married, raising kids and worrying about things like real estate, taxes and politics. My parents would say that life is hard, that we're put on this Earth to labor and toil and earn things, never truly resting until we've died and moved on to the NEXT life. Ultimately, I think life is a passage of time, inclusive of the activities we engage in to fill that time, based on our own needs and, more importantly, those of other people. I'd never be comfortable judging another person, measuring how he or she fills time, and deciding that he or she does not in fact have a life. While I cannot assess real people in such a way, a fictional character is something wholly different. As part of this week's lecture, my teacher linked to a great questionnaire for writers to “interview” their creations. For fun, I'm going to try this exercise with an old RPG character of mine, to see how much life I can instill in him. It should prove an excellent method toward writing more realistic and believable individuals.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?
“Finishing my training and getting my current job, I guess. My responsibilities may not be as important as my coworkers’, but I serve a function on this station. I dream a lot about going out and having some adventures, but the truth is I don't think I could really handle it. It gets boring behind this desk sometimes, but it's still safe. I can still dream, though.”

What is your idea of perfect happiness?
“Is anyone ever perfectly happy? There's always going to be something to worry about, some nagging certainty that I've left some report not filed or came to work without turning off the holo-projector in my quarters. I suppose, for me, perfect happiness is reached when I've done everything that had to be done, and I've forgotten nothing. That's the most I can expect out of life, though I don't often achieve it.”

What is your current state of mind?
“Bored. Bored and tired.”

What is your favorite occupation?
“Is Superhero a legitimate occupation? I've definitely seen some things around this station that make me think it is. Well...I haven't actually seen too much, so much as heard the other officers talking. Being a pilot would be fun too. Doctors, they get to save lives. If I was a chef, I'd probably make a lot of people happy, assuming I was good at my job. I bet it would be great to be a mechanic, to fix ships and put things together that have come apart. Being an actual ship, now that would be cool. I'm not a machine though, and I don't think I could handle the procedure to become one. If I could be a machine though, it'd be great to have access to all the data that's out there. Granted, as a desk clerk I have a lot of access now, but as a computer there would be less typing. I'm sorry, this is hard for me to narrow down.”

What is your most treasured possession?
“My holo-projector.”

What or who is the greatest love of your life?
“Um...do I really have to answer this? Will this be on my file? I do sort of have a crush on someone, but I don't think she'll ever notice me. I once had a dream that I saved this whole station, got a promotion, married her and started a family. I think it was a dream, anyway. It seemed very real.”

What is your favorite journey?
“Imagination. In my mind, I can go anywhere I want.”

What is your most marked characteristic?
“Nothing. There's absolutely nothing about me that stands out. I blend in completely, so I guess that's my most marked characteristic.”

When and where were you the most happiest?
“Well....like I said, that dream I had that time felt REALLY real. It was the perfect life. I had the best job, the perfect wife, and a great kid. I dream a lot, but that was the best one. I don't think I've ever been that happy before or since.”

What is it that you most dislike?
“No one looks at me. Officers bring prisoners down here to the brig, fill out the paperwork, and leave. Sometimes people come to pull records, including my dream girl from the library. None of them have ever looked at me. Although sometimes I'm looking down or zoning out, myself. I get really shy. That's what I dislike most about myself.”

What is your greatest fear?
“We had a full scale riot here, one time. Power went down, and a lot of weird things happened. As bad as it was for the prisoners to be loose, a lot of people were seeing things that weren't there. The captain made a speech when it was all over, and I've watched the history vids, but I'm not even clear on the cause of it, or why I didn't hallucinate from that gas or whatever it was the way a lot of my colleagues did.

What is your greatest extravagance?
“I don't make much, and most of my credits go toward my living unit and my holo-vids. I suppose anything I do for fun is an extravagance.”

Which living person do you most despise?
“Myself.”

What is your greatest regret?
“I wish my dreams were real, and I regret any and all possible chances I've lost due to hesitation and doubt.”

Which talent would you most like to have?
“I wish I could fly. Actually, that would be scary without a ship. I wish I could fly a ship. There's a lot of enemies out there that would shoot at me though. I wish I could type faster, then I'd have more time to myself. Actually, I type pretty fast. Most of the time I keep working only out of boredom. It'd be nice to know how to dance, but I don't know if I'd ever have the courage to do so.”

Where would you like to live?
“I like my life here on the station. It's comfortable. Sometimes I look out at the planet below, and I wonder what it would be like to breathe real air again, run through a field and see trees. I've spent most of my life up here though. I can't remember what it's like in an atmosphere. I guess I think about living other places, but I like it here because I KNOW here, you know?”

What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
“You're kind of a depressing interviewer. I guess boredom is pretty miserable. Loneliness isn't fun either.”

What is the quality you most like in a man?
“Anything I lack, including courage, money, and a healthy physique. I forget to eat sometimes and I'm kind of scrawny. I wish I stood out more sometimes, although most of the time I'm glad I don't.”

What is the quality you most like in a woman?
“I like a nice smile, deep eyes to get lost in, intellect and conversation skills and, most importantly, that she acknowledges my existence.”

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
“I'm too much of a nobody, and I'm too afraid to do anything to change that outside my own mind.”

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
“People are selfish, completely oblivious to anything outside themselves.”

What do you most value in your friends?
“Having friends.”

Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
The Three Investigators, specifically Bob Andrews.”

Whose are your heroes in real life?
“The captain is at the top of my list. I hear a lot of guys put him down, but I think he has a lot more sincerity and integrity than most of the humans on this station. I'm not brave, but I'd follow that mechanoid into heck if he told me to. I don't think he would, though.”

Which living person do you most admire?
“I think I just answered this question.”

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
“Some people consider being good-looking a virtue, and place too much importance on it.”

On what occasions do you lie?
“All my lies are lies of omission. It's not the things I say, so much as the things I don't say that border on dishonest.”

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
“I mumble and say ‘right' and ‘sure' a lot. I'm sorry that's not a more interesting response. Actually, I guess I also apologize way too much.”

If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
“I wish I could speak my mind and act without hesitation.”

What are your favorite names?
“Anything but my own.”

How would you like to die?
“As a hero, but only in fantasy. Really I'd be content to go to sleep one day and never wake up.”

If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what do you think it would be?
“With my luck, I'd still be me, Walter Patterson, desk clerk for the brig at Starbase Rugby.”

What is your motto?
“Every day is another one.”

* * *

8 Comments:

Blogger Janet said...

MCF some of these answers are so...sad. Now I'm a bit worried about you:(

1/21/2006 1:23 PM  
Blogger MCF said...

No worries; that was an excercise for my writing class, interviewing a fictitious character to get to know them and thus write more realistically. That's not me answering those questions. For example, I don't own a holographic projector--I think someone skimmed. :D

1/21/2006 2:57 PM  
Blogger Lorna said...

that's the saddest thing I've read in a while---I hope that's because kyou have a great imagination.

1/21/2006 2:59 PM  
Blogger Kelly said...

I liked the interview. Reminded me of an unhealthy, incompetent Wolverine. A character like that would be fun to play in an RPG.

BTW, I hate it when people knock my life when it doesn't meet their standards. Luckily, I've learned to mostly ignore these people.

1/22/2006 7:13 AM  
Blogger MCF said...

Thanks, Kelly. Walter was a fun character to write, inspired mostly by Thurber's "Walter Mitty". And that dream he spoke about was actually one of two alternate realities that a pair of cosmic beings exposed him to, one which he remembers as a vivid dream only. I'd link to the story but the message board system it was on seems to be down, hopefully just temporarily. I'll check for it later.

Also, ignoring Jerry at times is a prerequisite to knowing him. ;D At the time, I just let the "imagine how hard it will be to see movies when you get a life" comment slide.

1/22/2006 12:43 PM  
Blogger Kelly said...

Yeah, please do leave that link if it comes back up. I'd love to read it.

1/23/2006 3:59 AM  
Blogger Janet said...

The bad news- I was a really bad skimmer. The good news- I need not be worried anymore.:)

1/23/2006 12:30 PM  
Blogger MCF said...

Ignoring Rey--also a good practice sometimes, though not as often as ignoring Jerry. In this case he's right though; it is a part of a much larger epic. I'm only going to post the one story of Walt's dream/nightmare come true from 2002:

"The Red Pill or the Blue Pill?"

Clearly I'd just seen the Matrix. :)

1/23/2006 2:41 PM  

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