Bailout

Like most people, I like to think of myself as one of the “good” guys. At the very least I’m a nice guy. But we’re all human, and not one of us is without sin. There are secrets that I, like most of us, will take to my grave. That doesn’t mean I can’t have a little fun with it, though, hence this exercise I came across in my online travels.

Below are a list of “offenses” followed by a fine. I’m not going to say which things on the list I’ve actually done, only tally the total fine based on those things. I’ll post my total at the end, and it will be fun to see what items people think contributed to that amount. Feel free to try it for yourselves. In comparing our bail totals, we’ll learn that we’re all less (or more) innocent than we think we are...

1) Smoked pot -- $10

2) Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk --$50

3) Cheated on your significant other -- $10

4) Been in love with two people or more at the same time -- $50

5) Said you love someone but didn't mean it -- $25

6) Went streaking -- $5

7) Went streaking in broad daylight -- $15

8) Kissed a coworker-- $20

9) Kissed your boss -- $50

10) Been arrested -- $5

11) Spent time in jail -- $15

12) Peed in the pool -- $0.50

13) Played spin the bottle -- $5

14) Done something you regret -- $20

15) Slept with your best friend -- $20

16) Been in love with a stripper -- $20

17) Went skinny dipping -- $5

18) Been slapped -- $5

19) Slapped someone-- $5

20) Beat up someone -- $20

21) Been jumped -- $10

22) Ever had sex at church -- $25

23) Dated someone you met online -- $25

24) Cheated on a test -- $50

25) Vandalized something -- $20

26) Slept with someone in your parents' bed -- $100

27) Cross-dressed -- $10

28) Given money to stripper -- $25

29) Flirted with an officer to get out of a ticket -- $30

30) Been in love with a stripper -- $20

31) Kissed some one who's name you didn't know -- $10

32) Hit on some one of the same sex while at work -- $15

33) Ever drive drunk -- $20

34) Used toys while having sex -- $30

35) Got drunk, passed out and don't remember the night before -- $20

36) Had sex in a pool -- $20

37) Masturbated -- $10

38) Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend -- $20

39) Done oral -- $5

40) Got oral -- $5

41) Done / got oral in a car while it was moving -- $25

42) Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you -- $40

43) Stole something -- $10

44) Slept with someone who has been in jail -- $25

45) Made a dirty home video -- $15

46) Plan on making a dirty home video in the near future -- $30

47) Had a threesome -- $50

48) Had sex in a public place -- $20

49) Been in the same room while someone was having sex -- $25

50) Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars -- $20

51) Had sex with someone 10 years older -- $20

52) Kissed a teacher while you were still a student -- $25

53) Lied to your mate -- $5

54) Lied to your mate about the sex being good -- $25

After going through the list, my total bail amount comes to $280.00. What do you think? I’d say I’m relatively innocent. And how did you do...?