Hot. Enough.

No one, but no one, has uttered the dreaded phrase, “Hot enough for ya?” yet. I think we’re all feeling the oppressive humidity, the thickness in the air, the struggle to move forward let alone breathe. I’m not a violent man. My patience lasts a long time and I’m always happy to step aside or turn the other cheek. If someone were to walk up to me right now and ask that question however, I would be throwing a punch. They’d be fine, because I’d collapse from exhaustion halfway through the swing, collapsing in a fat, sweaty heap on the floor.

Every year Summer gets harder for me, and I know 100 degrees in New York is probably nothing compared to states West and or South of here. I used to play basketball in this weather, albeit under “blackmail” of my friends threatening to shout out the name of a girl I secretly liked. Now I can’t walk twenty feet from my office to my car. For months I’ve parked as far from the building as possible so no one scratched my new vehicle. Monday I parked in the first space in the first row; any closer and I’d be at my desk.

I don’t know if this is any hotter than previous years, or if it was a drastic and sudden spike in the thermometer. I do think air conditioning has spoiled me. Maybe the reason I could take the heat as a little kid was that I didn’t have another option. I spent most of my day Monday in an air conditioned office and an air conditioned car. I don’t know how I survived with my old car, whose AC never worked. I just rolled down the windows and dealt with it.

The older I get, the heavier and whinier I apparently get, and I apologize. I thought I’d use the air conditioning sparingly in my new car, make it last as long as possible, but since this heat wave hit I’ve been driving with the windows rolled up and the fans on full blast. So much for conservation. My only concern is that the weather evens out by the time I get to my longer outdoor jobs, band processions ranging from 6 to 12 hours. Truth be told, I haven’t even gotten to the hard jobs yet. The zoo gig this past weekend was quite literally a walk in the park.

Worst of all, I’ve lost my last ounce of exercise during the week. At least I keep active with bands on the weekend, but I’d also been walking every day for lunch. I took one step outside on Monday and knew I’d be heading for the car. It wasn’t even a question of coming back drenched in sweat; I would have collapsed on the pavement not 100 feet from the building. So, for the foreseeable future, I’ll be driving short distances to sit and eat indoors and appreciate nature through glass. I still haven’t determined if this modern world has made life better, or made us softer.

Is it just me? Does anyone else long for Spring or Fall? I might even take Winter right about now. This might be the year I finally talk my folks into letting me get them an air conditioner. My dad doesn’t seem to notice the heat either way, but my mom’s mentioned that she’d like me to do some research on the subject. The fans, skylight, and windows just don’t seem to be enough anymore. Our cats keep stretching out on random spots on the floor. My computer’s fan gets so loud I’m afraid to leave the thing on for very long. I think we’re perilously close to the point where luxury or indulgence cross the line into necessity. I just hope that we’ve reached the highest temperatures for the year and subsequent weeks are more reasonably in the 80s or, I wish, 70s. As far as I’m concerned, it’s MORE than hot enough, and I’ve had enough of the heat.