The Calls

Generosity is a good thing. It's important to be charitable, and help out those less fortunate. Sometimes there are selfish reasons; for example I read an article that said women don't like men who are cheap. Obvious article aside, there are also selfless reasons ranging from sympathy to empathy to Karma to just paying it forward as well as back.

School costs money, and is quite possibly one of the biggest expenses in a person's life, ranking right up there with marriage, children, or real estate. I was one of the lucky ones to get a scholarship to college and cut my tuition in half just by playing in the pep band. I had some other academic scholarships as well, and thanks to my parents scrimping and saving, both a private high school and a university education were paid for on a mechanic's modest salary. After I graduated, I didn't have to deal with the debt that plagued many of my peers as they entered the workforce.

Of course, scholarships wouldn't be possible without the support of alumni who want other kids to have the same opportunities we did. Once I started working, I started getting letters from both my high school and my college, asking me to donate to their funds. I wasn't making a lot with my first job, so I gave what I could, a mere $20 to each, once or twice a year, however often they sent me a letter. When I got a better job, I upped it to $25.

Sure, I could afford to give more. Each letter came with a list of names, former students ranked by their generosity. I didn't need to have a brick or wood panel in some school building with my name engraved on it for giving hundreds or thousands of dollars. Though what I was giving was a small token, and a fraction of my income, mathematically if everyone gave at least as much, the schools would be doing fine. What did it matter if one year I didn't give as much? There were doctors and lawyers and pharmacists who graduated from the same school, got the same letters, and had more to spare. Maybe I'm cheap or selfish, but the more the schools wrote to me, the less inclined I was to give. A few years ago I dropped my donation to $20, and sometimes they'd have to write to me two or three times before I sent in a check. That's when the calls began.

“Hello, in the past you've given this amount. Would you consider raising your pledge? Can we count on you to continue?” At first I'd take the calls, and even though I've gone to these schools, had a good education and a good experience, the hard sell had the opposite effect on me. It didn't matter that the telemarketers were students who were where I was a few years ago. The fact that they were calling me at dinner time, asking me for money, and asking me to increase my donation, turned me off. Soon I stopped taking the calls. If my dad answered, he'd say I wasn't home from work yet. In most cases that was the truth. The more hang-ups we got on the answering machine, the more I suspected it was them. It was worse than the mob or a collection agency.

Every once in a while I'd still send in a check of course, at the very least once a year to each institution. That would stop the letters and the calls for a while. I also have a bad habit of letting my mail pile up on the hallway table and going through it once every three months. I'll grab current bank statements of course, as well as Netflix DVDs, as those red envelopes are always my (misplaced) first priority. Sometimes it would be months before I noticed I'd been solicited. This year, the phone calls have been really bad.

They'd call in the afternoon. They'd call at night. I'd get home, and my dad would tell me my school called. They never said what it was about, and when he told him to call back in a few hours when I returned, they never did. It was never the same person twice. Sometimes my dad had trouble hearing them, and they gave up. Other times my mom would say it sounded like a cute girl was calling me and she got her hopes up. My dad would ask what it was in regards to, and they'd never say. They wanted me on the phone. They needed to back me into a corner, and pressure me, because for some reason that lousy 20 bucks a year was that important to them. Sure, I have a better job than when I first graduated, and I have wise savings. But if for some reason I ever lost my job, I'd probably miss even $20.

Finally, about a week ago, I caved. It wasn't just the pressure. My college sent me a very cleverly designed piece that looked like our old exam books. It had a fake multiple choice test with the right answers already marked in red, and the questions all pertained to the things alumni donations help support, like scholarships, equipment, and reasonable tuition. The definition of “reasonable tuition” has changed radically in the last few years though. Alumni contributions probably mean the difference between crazy expensive and sell-your-firstborn insane. But, as a designer, I liked the piece and it was better than the straightforward letter and perforated form. But, I did do something a bit petty. They had harassed my father, multiple parties calling at multiple times of day, and not all polite about it. I only sent $15.

A few days later, my dad took another phone call. He told the young lady that his son sent money in if that's why she was calling, and she very politely thanked him. On Wednesday however, I got a card. It looked like a greeting card, and my mom thought perhaps they were thanking me. I wasn't so sure. It was indeed a greeting card, with a handwritten note inside from a fellow alumnus, a basketball player who graduated in the mid-70s. He implored me to join him in supporting our school, and consider renewing my pledge of $20. I actually considered sending them a check for the difference. As I was reading however, I heard my dad answer the phone.

“Hello. HELLO?”

“WHO?!”

“My son? He's not home yet. What is this about?”

“HELLO?!”

“He sent money the other--HELLO?”

“They hung up. I could just about hear him.”

I know I'm probably wrong about this. My high school also called earlier in the day about their fund, and I still haven't sent them anything. It's just The Calls. The more they ask for money, and ask for more money, the more I plant my feet and the less inclined I am to actually send anything. I understand the marketing behind it, understand that a phone call is harder to ignore than a letter, and unless that letter is in a clever format, it won't get them the results they need. I'm grateful to my schools, but my education wasn't free even if it was my parents paying the bills. I'm kind of annoyed that The Calls continued even after I sent a check, albeit for less money.

I’m afraid that the more I give, the more they’ll expect. If I continue giving the same amount, they might increase their mailing frequency, hoping I’ll forget the last time I sent a check. Does anyone else out there have this problem, or am I total deadbeat?