T.I.L.T. Things I've Learned Thursday XXVII

I haven't written a Things I've Learned Thursday column in a while, but that doesn't mean I haven't been learning, or at the very least that it isn't Thursday...

* Rudeness and selfishness are taught. In my favorite deli, the system is fairly simple. You walk up to the counter and the line forms behind you, leading back to the entrance. The guys behind the counter ask for the next person who isn't being helped, and as they finish each order move on to the next person. I'd placed my order and was waiting for the guy that was helping me, when a woman came in with her daughter. “Stop that, Caitlyn!” she scolded halfheartedly, as the little treasure slapped her hands against the glass case in front of me, communicating that she wanted the chocolate pudding beyond. The pair had bypassed the entire line, and now moved ahead of me. The woman kept sighing loudly and looking around impatiently, occasionally trying to discourage the kid by saying there were too many people. Indeed, the line was getting longer, but they technically weren't on it. Finally, she got the attention of one of the guys rushing about behind the counter. “I'm helping someone else right now,” he said, but she was insistent. “I just need a cup of that!” The deli guy sighed and asked how much. She didn't know, so he held up empty cups until he hit a portion she wanted. The child got her pudding, and the mom got waited on before everyone else in line, interrupting the making of someone else's sandwich. It's a nice lesson for the little one who will grow up the same way if not worse.

* Six ice cream sandwiches before bedtime is a bad idea, for a plethora of reasons I won't go into here.

* Approach every stop sign in wealthy neighborhoods as though the police are right around the corner. Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't actually there. On my way to work Wednesday, they were arbitrarily stopping people, I guess to check inspections or something. They waved me on ahead when I started to roll down my window, and my breathing went back to normal.

* I use so many key commands in my Photoshop work that I tend to keep all my tool palettes hidden so I have the full use of my monitor. At work I have two mirrored monitors, so I can keep all the tools on one screen and dedicate the other to my artwork. The downside of working blind is missing something crucial, and a similarity in key shortcuts and a simple typo led me to merge all the layers of a document without realizing it after I'd done a bunch of work and opened my layers palette, to find only one layer. I guess what I learned is to check the state of any given project more often, or that I need a second monitor at home.

* Comic books, like soap operas, have certain tried and true methods of maintaining a status quo, so that any major change in a classic character will always regress to the basic state that everyone has been familiar with. That's why I'm sure that the six part Archie Marries Veronica story won't end with the couple wed, even if it is set in the future. If it doesn't turn out to be a tale of what might be and actually is the fate that awaits him, he could always ask Mephisto to get him out of it.

* A Buffy movie without Joss Whedon is more than likely a bad idea, but it's failure will still leave the television series intact, and potentially it can make the Kristy Swanson version look a whole lot better.

* 1(x) + 2(x) will always = 3(x).

* If the treadmill in my gym is clearly on but none of the buttons are working, check to see if someone hit the “stop” button too hard and jammed it. Also, when the televisions don't work on the cardio machines in the second row, trace the cord three machines down the line to the point where people always trip over it and yank it out of the outlet. Follow these instructions and you'll do fine when you're at my gym. And while you're there, the best way to recognize me is by my--what? Oh, I'm sorry; we're out of time. Maybe we'll continue this next time, unless I learn better things to share....