Umm, No.

• In Chain Reaction, Keanu Reeves portrayed a young machinist working with a team of physicists on a project to separate hydrogen from water and create a clean and limitless energy alternative. He succeeds in finding the necessary frequency, and subsequently outruns a massive nuclear-level explosion on his motorcycle, outruns a mob of police officers by darting up a raised drawbridge, reprograms computers in a secret underground base to initiate a chain reaction and shut themselves down while e-mailing massive amounts of data on the project to the FBI, and later safely rides the blast of another explosion while in a rickety metal conveyance on a cable, with barely a scratch. Credible?

Umm, no.

• My mom is superstitious about the date April 26th. Her father died on that date. Her Godmother died on that date. Her son split his face open on a shard of glass and scarred himself for life on that date. Various bad things have happened in various years on that exact date. Should she remind her son this the day before he has to drive his father and another elderly trumpet player into Brooklyn on that very date? Is it better to make someone nervous in the interest of telling that person to be careful?

Umm, no.

• As part of his sermon on Saturday afternoon, our pastor reminded us of the Burger King slogan, “Have It Your Way”. The company, or at least the marketing for the franchise, prides itself on giving customers options. After mass, we stopped there to pick up dinner as we do every week, ordering the same items we always do. My dad gets a grilled chicken sandwich with lettuce only. My mom gets a Whopper Junior without onions. I get an original chicken sandwich, a cheeseburger, and medium fries. We don't order drinks. There was a new girl being trained at the register, and she asked the same questions as the regular cashier. “Number eight?” she asked after my mom asked for the first item. “No, not the meal,” my mom explained, “Just the sandwich.” The girl looked bewildered, and tried to get the attention of one of her superiors who was busy conversing. She finally got her attention and asked something in Spanish; the only word I understood was “Ocho”. The older woman showed her the button on the keypad, then the trainee asked her something else. The older woman looked at my mom and asked, “Just the sandwich?” My mom confirmed, and after another minute, they found the right button. I noticed the small screen didn't have the usual “Lettuce-only” message, but it was hard enough communicating the sandwich itself. We went through this two more times with the next two items, and ultimately my mom ended up forgetting to order the cheeseburger. She tried to get the girl's attention but I stopped her; a line was forming and I didn't want to gum up the works any further. I did tell my mom that I didn't think she'd entered the sandwich correctly for my dad, so she got one of the other workers attention and made sure there was only lettuce on his sandwich. Hopefully we managed to be patient and polite enough to avoid any nasty surprises added to our food. Is there any truth to that “Have it Your Way” slogan?

Umm, no.

• It was 85 degrees in New York on Saturday. 85. In April. A month ago I was still shoveling snow. Now I start sweating any time I blink. Am I going to enjoy marching in a three hour procession on Sunday when it's supposed to be even hotter?

Umm, no.

• Apparently, the rumors about a new Three Stooges movie starring Sean Penn, Benicio Del Toro, and Jim Carrey is true. Is this a good idea?

What do you think?


Blogger b13 said...

Umm, no.

4/26/2009 12:52 AM  
Blogger Lorna said...


4/26/2009 11:40 AM  

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