This Week...

...Liam Neeson lost his wife Natasha Richardson at the too-young age of 45 to a freak skiing accident that left her brain-dead. I haven't actually seen any of her films, but it's still a cruel loss for her family, how quickly a fun excursion turned to tragedy.

...we also lost 62-year-old actor Ron Silver to esophageal cancer. I remember him best for his role as the villain in Timecop. It hasn't been a great week for the entertainment industry.

...I found myself in a moment of reflection on potential and contributions after the umpteenth time someone at work called me “smart” or someone entrusted me with responsibility or added tasks. I know I'm not rocket science smart or disease curing smart, and in the list of things I could have become growing up, my skills might have led me to become a writer or an accountant. Don't get me wrong; I like my job and I'm grateful to have any job at a company in this economy that, thus far, seems to be doing well. Every now and then I just experience this reality check that my presence on Earth isn't really making a difference, that no one will live or die if I don't design a flyer, envelope, or other form of advertisement. The reward for working well and/or quickly is and will always be additional work. The real rewards, theoretically, come at retirement when I can be financially stable without sweating deadlines or critiques. Theoretically. I guess sometimes I need to check my ego and remember, especially as person of Catholic faith, that being here isn't about attaining any measure of fame. It's the little legacies that count, the small differences that add up and might go unrecognized by people, that will be tallied in the end. A paycheck and benefits are more than enough from a job so long as there's some fulfillment elsewhere in our lives. It's just hard for a machine to remain productive during flashes of self-awareness.

...I marched in a St. Patrick's Day parade over the weekend with an Italian band, wearing a white flat cap with the word “ITALIA” emblazoned across it. At least our shirts were green, and the crowd was way to drunk to notice or care. I wore a green shirt to work on Monday, thinking for some reason that it was the official holiday, like it was one of those floating holidays that always falls on the “X” Monday of a month. I related that anecdote to my mom when I got home, to which she responded, “That's green?” Everyone's a critic.

...my parents' phone went dead. We haven't had a dial tone in two days, and initially could only receive incoming calls. Now we don't even hear that. For some reason my DSL is still working so I can get online, but until the repairman gets here, my mom's actually been forced to leave her cell phone on, which she was always afraid to do for fear of using up the (rechargeable) battery. A friend of mine at work doesn't even use a landline anymore; since he and his wife always have their cellphones, they don't see a need for it. Perhaps wireless is the way to go, although a world without wires might make life a little harder for squirrels and birds. Another flaw in that world is pointed out by Campbell Scott in the film Crashing: “It used to be, when you didn't feel like talking, you could just leave the house...”

...the snow is all but completely gone, the temperatures reached just above 60 degrees, and Spring is just around the corner. Remember that, it might not be yesterday, or tomorrow, but today, when it counts, life is good.