Belated Sequels and the Kingdom of the Oversized Sicilian Melon

Wow, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was a lot of fun, with great humor, action, and nods to the previous films and television series. Although it has its flaws, it's still an entertaining ride. I could suspend my disbelief about most things in the movie, save for the use of one common household appliance, but perhaps I'm saying too much. It was great revisiting that world.

There's always understandable skepticism when filmmakers return to the well after so many years, and I know audiences will be divided over this fourth installment. Ultimately, I think it was a good execution of a good idea. But what of bad or unlikely sequels? I've speculated Belated Sequels before, and just when you think the topic is closed is when the time is ripe for another sequel to those posts. Consider:

1) W for Worcestershire: In this unexpected follow-up to V for Vendetta, a new protagonist dons the Guy Fawkes mask to stand up for a new cause: condiments. Can he turn the tide against a government contractually obligated to ketchup? Can he bring new flavor to a bland bureaucracy? A reckoning is at hand, and there will be accounting for bad taste....

2) Bee13 Movie: I admit, I haven't seen Bee Movie yet, but it seems like a no-brainer to convert one of the more colorful characters I know into a colorful CGI bee and let him tackle the voice work. Inspired by his hive-brother's adventures with humans in the first movie, and shunned by his 12 siblings for his obsession with human interests such as photography, Bee13 sets out on a journey to see the world outside, and show others how he sees things. It's a BEE with a CAMERA--a fun ride for the whole family!

3) Double Mocha Venti Me: Morgan Spurlock educated and disgusted millions of Americans with his hit documentary Super Size Me. Now, in a rare reality sequel, instead of a fast food only diet, Spurlock tackles coffee chains. See the man lose weight and act increasingly jittery as he survives on nothing but Starbucks for 30 days. You might never order twenty ounces of brown fluid again!

4) Great Grandson Kane: Move over, Citizen Kane! Rising star Shia LaBeouf takes on his greatest role yet. Heir to a great fortune, running a successful online sled store, Chuck Kane the 5th has everything he wants, and nothing he needs. Brittany Murphy takes a marvelous dramatic turn as a professor who teaches Kane that love and happiness can't be bought, only traded.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just a couple of thoughts.

1. Will the 'New' Guy Fawkes explain to the western world the correct pronunciation of Worcestershire?

2. I think you could still last longer on Starbucks than you could on McDonald's. Though with the ridiculous price of coffee at Starbucks, it might be cheaper to consume petrol.

5/24/2008 2:38 AM  
Blogger Lorna said...


5/25/2008 10:21 PM  

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