Change for the Better

I pondered possible causes of an apparent panic attack during a meeting a few weeks ago. I didn't understand the rapid heartbeat, nor other returning symptoms that plagued me for months a few years ago with no explanation. I didn't know why I got lightheaded when driving the car, felt like I was suffocating sometimes, or why my temples visibly swelled up and pressed against my skull when I ate certain foods. I wasn't about to go through what I did the last time though, visiting a slew of doctors who found nothing and suggested I needed a vacation or anxiety pills. So, I made a list of things I'd been doing differently, and realized the cumulative effect of reverting to so many bad practices in such a short time could explain why I was feeling a bit “off”.

I'm happy to report that I've made some changes, albeit minor ones, and I've definitely noticed some improvement. Here's a counter list to the previous collection of bad practices:

1) ”I no longer was a member of a gym.”
I still haven't joined one, nor do I plan to anytime soon, but I have taken advantage of every day that's been warm enough to walk at lunch. Since I work about a mile from the nearest shopping center, that's definitely a good start. Walking two miles a day isn't as good as running three miles a day, but it's much better than sitting still in front of a computer for twelve hours or more.

2) ”I noticed I'd run out of multivitamins months ago and never replenished them.”
This was probably the easiest fix, and I'm now stocked up, taking 1000 MG of Vitamin C, 500 MCG of B12, and one One-A-Day each night.

3) ”I used to drink water throughout the day.”
Water had been replaced by hot tea, complementary at my new job. Also complementary was coffee, and soon I was having a cup a day with six sugars. My dad did a verbal doubletake when I told him that, interrupting himself in mid-sentence to ask me to repeat the number of sugars. I don't know what I was thinking. I'm back to drinking water.

4) ”I now eat fast food four days a week...”
This may have been my biggest mistake, especially Taco Bell which, in spite of everything, is still what I crave. Or quiero, as the case may be. I might still have fast food on weekends, but I haven't had Taco Bell in weeks and I haven't had any fast food during my lunch week, opting for delis, pizzerias, or chinese food instead. Dunkin' Donuts also offers some pretty good flatbread sandwiches now. Okay, I'm not exactly eating salads or switching to wheat bread but for me, what I'm eating is an improvement.

5) ”I'd have a banana in the morning and a Gatorade every day to keep my potassium up.”
I haven't added any fruit back to my diet yet, but I have started bringing the Gatorade, refilling it with water throughout the day. Additionally, I haven't had soda of any kind, opting for tea when I go out for lunch. I've tried a few different Green Teas, purportedly the healthiest of them all. There was a citrus blend I didn't care for, particularly because it tasted like someone melted down hard candies. I found another kind flavored with honey on Monday, and found that closer to my liking. By the afternoon I felt energetic and clearheaded. I don't know if those were psychological effects, but better is better so I'm not questioning it too much.

6) ”I made a point at the old job of taking at least two vacation days a month...”
Does going to a party this past weekend count as a vacation? Even though I only had a few hours sleep, I felt pretty good the next day, recharged from sheer fun. I've been looking closely at my work schedule now that I'm getting a grasp on the workflow, and I think I see a potential slow day coming up in a few weeks when no one would miss me. If all goes well, if typing “if all goes well” doesn't twist probability, I might put in for it.

7) ”I stopped hiking.”
The weather isn't quite there yet, but between walks at lunch and a visit to the beach for an hour this past Sunday, I have found time to get exercise and, more importantly, get away from people to clear my head. My first parade of the new season is this coming weekend, a brisk two miles in which my lungs will get a workout playing music, my legs will get a workout carrying me, and my heart will get a work out keeping my blood pumping through it all. Most importantly, my brain will get much needed diversion from counterproductive trips down “what's wrong with me?” lane.

*****

In addition to feeling more like myself and shorter spells, I've even lost five pounds! I'll keep this up, probably until the next time I slack off and my body reminds me what I need to do to keep from feeling lousy.