What Should I Sing?

An unrecognizable Christian Slater hunches down in his cubicle, muttering to himself as he loads a pistol and tries to build up the nerve to start shooting, determining which order people will die. Most of his coworkers ignore him or treat him like dirt. He leads such a lonely existence, that the only friends who really “talk” to him are his fish, who mock him every day he comes home from work, pressuring him to just do it already. It's a daily ritual, and on the day when it seems like he might finally pull the trigger, something else happens and the outsider finds out what it is to be a hero, to be accepted, and even know love.

I can't say much more about He Was A Quiet Man without ruining it, but Slater gives one of his best performances in this sad and surreal film. Milton from Office Space meets William Foster from Falling Down in his Bob Maconel. You empathize and feel bad for his character, and when his pitiful existence is illuminated by the smile of the right girl, you pray his fragile happiness lasts.

I know what it's like to daydream, to feel left out and lonely. I've run into my share of difficult and dishonest people. I can't say I've ever thought of killing anyone though, and beyond my moral upbringing I'd also note that while I've felt lonely, I've never truly been alone. Bob's fish are all he has. I have friends and family to keep me grounded. Maybe the only real trait I share with Bob Maconel comes from the film's title. I write plenty, and I communicate my thoughts to those closest to me, but outside of my friends and family I don't speak unless absolutely necessary, and there's a lot going on inside my brain that never leaves the confines of my skull. Most of the time, I'm a pretty quiet man.

Music is an exception. The majority of noise I make comes out of a Baritone Horn, nearly every weekend between April and October at various Italian feasts, fire department parades, and other events where my unusual talent is needed. I often sing along with the radio when I'm by myself in the car, but the only other time I sing is at karaoke, usually with the help of a beer or two. In my late ‘20s it was something I did every weekend but that died down after a while. Last year I got to rock with a mike again not once but twice. The first time, I hung out with a high school friend I hadn't seen in a few years who'd introduced me to karaoke in the first place. A few months later, I found myself singing in front of coworkers at another friend's birthday party. Despite hogging the microphone and generally being a drunken fool standing on couches, knocking over bottles, and trashing the private room, I seem to still be on the guest list for an upcoming karaoke birthday party this year.

I've been looking forward to it, and it's only a few weeks away. Now when I sing along with the radio in the car, I find it's with purpose. I'm not a good singer nor is that remotely a prerequisite, but there are definitely singers and songs that are well out of my league. Kurt Cobain, Axl Rose, and Chris Cornell are among my favorite singers who hit notes I couldn't reach without switching to a falsetto and sounding like a prepubescent. Some of their songs I can handle, either because they're high enough to take down a full octave or they're within my range. But there are a lot of songs with a reasonably pitched verse but a chorus that's way up there.

I definitely want to have some songs in mind before I get to the party. On the one hand, the hours might fly by as they have in the past, and I'll find myself lamenting the songs I didn't have time for on the way home. On the other hand, in my eagerness to sing everything, I might maniacally key in four or five consecutive songs with the remote and not give anyone else a chance to sing. I’m not doing that again. If I come up with a list ahead of time, I can pick not only the songs I like best or can handle, but I might even come up with a few to encourage wallflower participation. Nothing gets the people sitting in a corner all night more riled up than the chorus to Living On A Prayer or Jump Around. Karaoke can be as exciting as watching someone else play a video game unless you get others involved when it’s your turn.

Slater and Elisha Cuthbert team for an interesting karaoke rendition of Midnight Train to Georgia in that aforementioned flick. I wonder if I should try that one. I think I'm just going to have to compile a list, whittle it down and when the time comes, have at least four or five definites, and pick any others by spontaneity. I’m open to any suggestions, other than “stick to singing in in the car” and “post a video after the party”.