M.C.F.A.T. XVII: Answers

The SEVENTEENTH edition of the Mysterious Cloaked Figure's Astonishing Test is going to be the hardest one I ever answered. Oh, the questions shouldn't be too difficult; I wrote them. But having seen Giant ****ing Robots in a live action movie on the big screen, finally after waiting over two decades, it's going to be hard to write about anything else. I went with about six other people, then spent about a half hour geeking out on my cell phone gushing and dissecting the film with my friend Rey in another state. Everyone else who appreciated the movie on a Summer blockbuster special effects fest left by that point. There were so many nods to the fans, the effects were amazing, the story was a classic good versus evil over the mandatory MacGuffin with the fate of the world in the balance, and the humor was well done, except for one extended comic relief sequence in the middle of the movie that nearly derailed things before getting back on track in a big way. I can't wait for the inevitable sequel.

Anyway, where was I? Here are the kind folks who took the time to answer my questions:

B13
(in the comments)

Curt
(in the comments)

Kev Bayer

Darrell

Otis

Jeff

Rey

Lorna

You all rock. Let's do this again, real soon. Here are my answers.

1) What was the first swear word you learned?
My mom always said I was a sweet kid before I started going to school, and then that's when the trouble started. I remember saying one day after pre-school that I fell on my “butt”, a new vocabulary word that took my mom by surprise. “That's not nice; we don't say things like that.” “Well everyone in school laughs when Tanya says it!” School and girls will get a guy in trouble every time. Of course, that was ridiculously tame given the words I'd go on to learn, and over the years it became a cute story to bring up at family gatherings: “Yeah ma, I do remember saying that; I'm the one who said it.” What makes that story more harmless is the time my friend Jimmy came over, and for some reason while playing with action figures he decided to start chanting the F-bomb. He had a good rhythm going, and I thought it was cool, so I joined in a la Jay and Silent Bob. Then my mom walked in to my room and nearly tore the kid's arm out of his socket dragging him outside. I wasn't allowed to play with Jimmy after that.

2) If you could have a functioning version of any comic book character's accessory or vehicle, which would you choose and why?
Surprisingly, I'm not going to say Quasar's Quantum Bands because while flying through space, teleporting, shooting energy blasts and creating any construct within the limits of my imagination is great, those weapons have a pesky willpower requirement and tend to disintegrate an unworthy user. More than ever, especially after the last movie I saw, I realize chicks dig a cool car so I'll go with the next obvious choice of the Batmobile. With so many to choose from, I'll go with the future flying model from Batman Beyond, although the '60s television version holds a fond place in my heart.

3) What is your least favorite exercise?
My least favorite exercise is the one I need the most: anything abdominal. I hate sit-ups and crunches, yet that's my weakest area. I've been trying to force myself to do crunches at night when I watch television, but it's more of a challenge to remember. Running was once my least favorite, especially growing up. I was terribly slow, and often got pains in my side. For the last two or three years though, I've gotten into a good routine with a treadmill and for the most part run three miles a day at a decent pace.

4) Can you keep a secret?
This is a complicated question. I'm trustworthy and can keep a lot of secrets, both my own and those of close friends. My problem is that while I'd never tell, I have tells. So if someone asks me a direct question, I might lie to keep a friend's confidence. But if the person asking knows me well enough, he or she will see my sudden red complexion or smirk as a sign that something is amiss. I'm glad that sooner or later a time comes when all can be revealed, but there are plenty of things I've held on to my whole life, that I'll take to the grave.

SPECIAL BONUS QUESTION: What is my middle name?
My actual middle name is something generic along the lines of Joseph, but I'll never tell. Actually, the answer I was looking for was a lot more obvious, and I was impressed with the skills of the two readers wily enough to write “Cloaked”.