No Left Turns

The first time I took my driving test I failed miserably. I didn't do too badly with the parallel parking, which to this day remains one of my weaknesses, but on a three point turn I backed up on to a sidewalk. I knew I had failed yet expressed surprise all the same when the woman testing me told me as much. It was particularly bothersome since I had been very good at three point turns and on this occasion I got nervous, wasn't sure I had backed up far enough, and slammed on the gas instead of shifting forward. The test didn't start out great to begin with, and as I timidly puttered down the road at five miles per hour, she tersely informed me I could go a little faster.

Failing meant I would not be able to drive to college until October when I would retake the test and pass. It was a bit of an inconvenience, alternately taking public transportation or having my parents drive me in to Queens on days when I had my instrument to carry for band rehearsal. The first day I could officially drive my dad's car I rejoiced, blasting a Metallica cassette and paying no heed to the drizzling rain. I took a sharp curve near my university a bit to fast, skidded on some leaves, and was terrified when I realized that while my wheel was turned to the right, my car continued straight for a flimsy fence separating the side road from the Grand Central Parkway. At the last second I regained control and avoided a historic leap into parkway traffic. This scare lasted a few days before I was back to driving an average of 80 MPH. Years later when my girlfriend moved to Massachusetts and we continued dating, I would travel even faster on the interstate.

Over the years I've mellowed, though my mom continues to grip the door handles in terror whenever I drive her to church. Running late for work a few years ago earned me my first and only speeding ticket, and since then arriving late for work is the lesser of two evils. I err on the side of caution, slowing down whenever someone's car sticks out too far from a parking lot into my lane. I've also never gotten the hang of left turns. There's no traffic light at the end of my block so while making a right turn and driving around some back streets takes longer, I often choose this as the easier path. I wait for lights to change or green arrows, and sometimes people behind me in a left turning lane get impatient and cut out past me in front of oncoming traffic. It drives a lot of my friends crazy whenever I drive.

Yesterday at lunch, with three other coworkers in the car, I pulled in to a post office to mail a Netflix movie. I waited to make a right turn back on to the six lane main road and, when absolutely no one was coming, I made my turn. I proceeded to switch from the right lane to the middle lane and finally the far left, but once I was half way in to the third lane I heard furious beeping. I quickly moved back to the center lane but the honking continued. I could now see a car with four young African Americans. The driver looked absolutely pissed, while his three passengers appeared to find the entire thing as amusing as my trio. I did an apologetic wave as they zoomed by, and slowed a bit. Ahead of us the light turned red and I hung back a little, stopping just shy of pulling alongside them. Of course the driver of the other vehicle started to back up so they'd be right alongside us, trying(successfully) to mess with me psychologically. The light turned green, and I drove on with another apologetic wave to the laughing quartet. I sometimes go out of my way to avoid left turns, but yesterday even a simple right turn led to a near collision and confrontation. When you're a Nexus of Improbability, anything can happen when you get behind the wheel.