Photo Bad Luck Tuesday

A person can only withstand so much improbability.

After a year of learning to use a digital camera with my Polaroid PDC 3035, I decided in a fit of hubris to buy a real camera. Actually, it was less spontaneity and more months of friends advising me to get a better model. I've also had a Best Buy® gift card in the amount of $100 from my parents since Christmas chewing a hole in my pocket, and today it finally broke through. As with most MCF stories, the moral varies from “Don't Try” to “If at first you don't succeed, you're MCF.”

After trying several models in the store and pestering Rey for technical advice as I've done for fourteen years, I narrowed my possibilities down to three cameras. While Rey made a wise exit with one of our friends to run errands elsewhere, I continued to deliberate while TheWriteJerry anxiously waited to get food. Finally, I made my decision. I went with an expensive and powerful model, a Canon Powershot S2 IS. It had a 12X optical zoom, and I could read signs on the other side of the store. That blew away my camera's sad 2X digital zoom. With a flip LCD display, 5 Megapixels, Image Stabilization, and countless other features I didn't understand but would learn, I went for it.

I couldn't wait to open it, and I brought it to my desk when I returned to work. It sat next to me while I answered e-mails and worked on several catalog designs that had to be presented early tomorrow. When my work was done by 6:30, it remained unopened. I missed gym last night, and I wasn't about to fall into old habits. The camera would wait until I got home and wait it did. While my dad anxiously asked if I was going to eat dinner any time soon, I busied myself in the living room carefully unpacking my new “toy” and installing the batteries and memory card. Soon I would be using a professional camera. I didn't recognize the familiar giddy feeling at the back of my throat, the surge of ego that always precedes an inevitable disappointment. I flipped the power on, the lens extended about a quarter of an inch, whizzed back and forth in place, and then the camera shut down with three irritated beeps.

What had I done wrong? I double checked everything, this time actually reading the instructions. The batteries were in right. The memory card was in right. I turned it on again, same results. This time I noticed the “E-18” in the lower right corner of the display, and Google™ed it. I found various comments from people with this and other Canon models about the same common error with the lens jamming. In most cases it wasn't serious although forcing it to move could be disastrous. I turned the camera on again and after a stubborn click the lens finally extended. Excited, I checked the LCD display which was blinding white. Was I zoomed in too far? I retracted the lens, and the white regressed to the top portion of the screen. Below it was a purple area, separated by a thick black area. The screen flickered and fuzzed, but never improved. After more research in the booklet and online, I took some photos and uploaded them to my computer in case it was just a display problem. The booklet suggested that sometimes the pictures come out fine. I could actually make out my living room amid the purple monotone with the black line and after consulting online with Rey, I confirmed my suspicions: I had, of course™, purchased a defective camera.

I'm going to take it back tomorrow and hopefully exchange it for a new one. For $400, I should not have encountered problems less than five minutes out of the box, and I don't think it's because of anything I did, beyond existing and having chronic bad luck. If they do give me a new one, I'll take it out in the store and test it. If they don't, then this will be the most expensive month of my life. Will I ever succeed? Will I start taking real pictures for The Nexus? I'm as anxious as anyone to learn the answer to these questions....