Things that make you go hmmmm
“Things that Make You Go Hmmm.”
Plenty of times songs get PLAYED OUT. You hear them every day on every station, see them in movies, hear them on television shows. Sometimes they disappear entirely. Sadly among the eclectic mix CDs the gym plays, I've yet to hear Dee-Lite's “The Groove is in the Heart”, though it was a genuine treat when it showed up in 2000's Charlie's Angels. Is it sad that I'm sincere? And alas, poor Hammer--I'll never forget the death knell I heard ”Pray” on a KFC commercial as he and his parachute-pants posse paraded down the pavement. Pitiful. Much love for his role on The Surreal Life, though.
“Things that Make You Go Hmm” takes me BACK though, to the days of ”Everybody Dance Now” and ”Everybody Have Fun Tonight”(LOVED the bit where Frasier quotes it on Cheers years AFTER it was popular), and ”Doctor Galakiewicz? Yes I AM!”(Have to scroll down or do a search for “Galakiewicz”--surprisingly, that's the best description I found of the once popular ad).
I love the diversity of the gym music some days, but then I believe that ”Mixes aren't funny; they're fabulous.” Extra points for any astute readers who “hmmmed” enough to get that reference(and who'd likely still be hmmmming). I had a “hmmmm?!” moment at work this morning when I overheard my perpetually loud and ill cubicle neighbor telling someone on the phone how she “was PUKIN' all night!” At this point my headphones promptly went on and I gleefully didn't hear another word she said until it was quiet--too quiet. I thought, ”Listen....you smell something?”(obscure quote courtesy of 1984, the best year EVER. )
The place was DEAD by 5:15; I think a lot of people resolved to leave work early this year. I'd have done the same but I wasn't feeling well and brought my dad with me in the morning, and so was stranded until 7:15 when he was returning for me. I felt GREAT today too. Energy was up as the day went on and my cold symptoms subsided. I did good driving my car this morning with the windows closed, eliminating the fumes theory, but halfway home I was getting winded talking, my hands and feet tingled, and my cheeks began to swell as I got a headache and felt pressure on both ears. I don't have a clue why, and it elicited a stronger reaction than a “hmmm?” When my dad quite harmlessly asked, “Why are you getting that? Is it the rain?” I'm sorry to say I blew up at him with, “IT'S NOT THE RAIN!! IT'S DRIZZLING! I'VE DRIVEN FROM PHILLY IN A MONSOON WITHOUT ANY ILL EFFECTS! I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS!!!!!” Of course, the sensation subsided after the outburst and as I continued to talk it out and reason why I had the attack, I noticed he wasn't answering. My dad can be sensitive sometimes though here he was totally justified. I asked if he was mad and he said he wasn't in an unconvincing way. The when I went on to apologize and explain I didn't mean to snap, that I was in distress at the time and very frustrated that I don't know why this keeps happening, he said he's not going to offer an opinion anymore, that he was just trying to help. He spoke very little the rest of the night and then only when spoken to, and went to bed without saying goodnight.
This sucks. I blew up at the one person who's been my anchor through all this nonsense, who likely thinks I've lost my mind or become a coward or something but gets in a car with me at a moment's notice, just because I ask and I need him to. I hate that I hurt my dad’s feelings. I'm definitely getting better, but it's frustrating when I relapse, especially with no apparent trigger. Was I subconsciously stressed because it was raining? I was talking about other stuff at the time when the sensations came over me, so I tend to doubt it. Perhaps I overdid it in the gym, running too much too soon because I was feeling great at the time, and subsequently exhaustion set in. I saw so many doctors and found nothing, and I don't have time for this.
Hmm. What a stream-of-consciousness.
I did get my new medical card today for the new year and I'm free to go to any doctor I choose under the new plan. Maybe I should go to an allergist or a sinusist or some combination of those two and rule out the only things I hadn't had checked. I am getting better every day though. Maybe the lesson here is that life is a struggle, and nothing worth achieving is SUPPOSED to be easy. If I'm taking two steps forward and one step back, I'm still making progress. Here's hoping a year from now I'll have moved past the point where my post deviates into THIS. Hopefully, I'll be at the crib sitting by the fireplace, drinking cocoa on the bearskin rug....
posted by MCF at 11:30 PM
1 Comments:
I've been catching up on your blog the past few days, having fallen behind being out of town. What stuck with me about the driving episodes was the bit you wrote about maybe holding your breath (the link to that specific column alludes me at the moment). I also get tired when I drive, but I always have chalked it up to the fatigue that comes along with my medication. But today, as I felt myself flagging terribly, I remembered what you wrote and discovered that indeed I was not breathing naturally. I was breathing, but in a tired/stressed out shallow way. Once I made myself take fuller breaths, the fatigue did fade somewhat.
As for some of your other specific ideas, I suggest you follow up on the sinus aspect with an Ear, Nose & Throat specialist. You may have a structural blockage that hinders your breathing (which, by the way, would be adversely affected by weather changes such as how the barometric pressure is affected by rain fronts moving in and out of the area - go tell your Dad that he might really be right, apologize, and bring him a meatball hero). I'd add to that the advice of a noted trauma/plastic surgeon I know: see an ENT who is also a facial plastic surgeon. That way, if surgical correction is required, you're getting a more qualified doctor doing it.
Oh, and thanks for the music portion of today's post. Now I have "Can't Touch This" in my head.
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