King of Links?

Howard Stern is the self-proclaimed ”King of All Media”. I've never been one to proclaim myself king of ANYTHING, at least not anything positive. I was brought up believing ”blessed are the humble” and ”pride cometh before the fall”. As I got older I became more and more careful not to let any accomplishments or achievements go to my head, or to sing my own praises. I remember once after I graduated from High School, my mom proudly showed me a column in our local newspaper. There was a picture of me in my white graduation tuxedo, holding the band trophy I'd won on top of my diploma, and an article talking about my achievements and what college I would be attending the following year. I was awestruck, and felt REALLY good until I began to wrap my mind around things. I had been sent to a private school a few towns away. I hadn't had contact with local people for a while, let alone any reporters, and I certainly didn't remember seeing press at my graduation. In fact, the more I thought about it, the photo looked suspiciously like one my mother had taken. Sure enough when pressed, she admitted that SHE had submitted the photo as well as the details. I was PISSED, and blew up at her. I was embarrassed that here we were basically BOASTING to the whole town that I had done something as basic as finish high school, win some academic awards, and get into a college. I was no better than any of my friends who had remained in the local public school, whose names were simply listed in the paper along with hundreds of other graduates. But I had an ARTICLE. I was livid. Had the public considered me so important, and the praises had come from the outside, I would have been greatly moved. But this act of bragging, of her wanting all the teachers who told her I'd amount to nothing, all the other parents who called me “weird” and said I'd go nowhere, to see they were wrong, didn't sit right with me at all. I didn't speak to her for days after that, and to this day I'm wary of going in to local stores for fear of running in to anyone I once knew. For years I was beyond wary; I just didn't go shopping around here at all.

I'm pretty fast at finding things online. It's little more than basic Googling, though with difficult things I widen the search using Dogpile to search the search engines. My friends are always trying to stump me with bits of trivia, or asking me to look up stuff that's come up during breakfast or lunch small talk. It's not that they can't look stuff up; I'm just fast with it and by weeding through results and finding the relevant ones, I save them some trouble. I don't really mind either, because I feel good when I “beat” a tough challenge and get them the answers. It's pride slipping through, and it's caused me trouble before. I knew a lot of people in high school who didn't have to read novels because they'd ask me for a summary of whatever chapter we were supposed to have read the night before and I'd gladly oblige, and without threat of physical harm if I didn't comply. Just this week I helped some of my friends find out the significance of the shiny and dull sides of aluminum foil. I provided the answer nearly 40 minutes after I was e-mailed the question, and one of my friends had grown impatient, but in reality I had been a little late for work, and then had to respond to some work e-mails before getting to the personal one. It actually took me under five minutes to find the answer, but I did feel a little inferior for the appearance of taking so long.

(Much) Earlier today, The Write Jerry made his long-awaited triumphant return to blogging. Within his post, “J-No” dubbed me with the hyperbolic title of “King of Links” and posed a challenging question: “Who said, ‘A day late and a dollar short'?” Granted, the title could simply mean my meticulous practice of peppering my blog with HTML footnotes. Likely, it refers to my position at the office as “the guy who looks stuff up for everybody else.” It's not a name I'd call myself, yet the way I'm wired I now find myself having to live up to his public declaration. And after extensive Googling AND Dogpiling, I humbly have to say that the answer is no one.

Cliche by Unknown.

The title of an album.

A novel by Terry McMillian.

I don't think it's derived from anything in the bible given the monetary figure mention, and though it sounds like something Mark Twain might have said, that's not the answer either. So I humbly have to admit that I'm NOT the King of Links after all. That title will have to belong to others more deserving. This is good though; little victories tend to go to my head. I go to the other extreme with defeat sometimes as well. Maybe I a little more pride would be healthier, as long as it's not an UNhealthy amount. Finding that balance might be another thing to add to my 2005 list of unresolutions. And if anyone has the answer for Jerry, feel free to post.

I'm certainly going to keep looking....