Thunderbirds are GO!

I don't always know what I'm going to blog about. More accurately, as the day progresses several ideas coalesce but when I finally sit down, I find myself writing about something altogether different. I have what I think is a great concept percolating, but I'll save it for later in the week. As I sat in gym today listening to the music that was playing, I paid real attention to the lyrics to The Bad Touch by the Bloodhound Gang with a mixture of shock and amusement. I was definitely familiar with the refrain, but some of the lyrics really stood out. It's amazing that something can be both corny and inappropriate all at once. Several times I was given pause as I wondered(not aloud, only by effort), “Wait, did he just say he's Ebert and she's getting ‘two thumbs up'? ‘Like the lost catacombs of Egypt, only God knows where we stuck it'? What the hell??” These lyrics are at once terrifying and brilliant. I just wanted to get that out of the way before moving on.

After surviving yet another commute home, I settled in to watch the latest movie to come to my doorstep, this year's live-action Thunderbirds. I thought it was at once terrifying and brilliant. As a kid's movie, it had a similar flavor to the Spy Kids franchise, though less savvy in nods to parents. It'd be nice to have kids of my own someday with which to sit down and enjoy something like this together. The original Thunderbirds was about ten years before my time, although I have vague memories of seeing reruns of those puppets on Saturday or Sunday mornings when I was a kid. I don't know if director Jonathan Frakes was a fan himself, but opinions are pretty diverse on the IMDB boards, where those with better memories of the original series than I seem upset. I'll have to refresh my memory and rent those someday. This definitely struck me as a “kid power” movie with the adults and vehicles as more of the backdrop to the children's crusade, and on that level it was enjoyable enough. Presented now in approximate chronological order are random thoughts which popped in to my head as I watched:

“Wow, cool title sequence...reminds me of Catch me if You Can's a little.”(later confirmed in Frake's commentary as being the same company)

“Wait, this was directed by Riker? I wonder if Xanatos will have a cameo.”

“Who is this kid? Does Rider Strong have a kid brother in the business? Tobey Maguire's kid brothers got to act in Spider-man 2 and give him his mask back on the subway. What kind of name is Rider Strong anyway? It sounds made up, like a porn name or something. I'll have to look that up later and see what his real name is.”(later confirmed that his birth name is “Rider King Strong”; decided to forgive parents for naming me “Mysterious Cloaked Figure”)

“Man, Bill Paxton is in EVERYTHING I've seen lately....A Simple Plan....Club Dread....Spy Kids 3D....what's up with that? He's got a cool voice. He's no Bill Pullman though.”

“HEL-LOOOOOOO Nurse! Looks like I have a new celebrity to stalk. Looks like Lady Penelope is just there for all the dads watching this movie.”

“Ben Kingsley. What a great actor. I have to make sure this isn't the only film I've seen him in. It can't be.”(It wasn't, but there are some glaring must-sees on my list)

“These kids are REALLY blonde, especially that one in the space station. There's a real Aryan thing going on. If this was a Lethal Weapon movie, Mel Gibson would be shooting the Tracy family while Paxton made the fatal villain error of explaining his schemes and Danny Glover was still ‘gettin' too old for this.'”

“Anthony Edwards, excellent actor and once the star of the hit series E.R. I think leaving was a mistake if this stuttering scientist named ‘brains' is the best he can do. Seriously, I never thought I'd see the day Anthony Edwards was playing a nerd.”

“That is NOT Kathy Griffin...?”(It wasn't)

“God she's hot. So British. So blonde and proper. So many bubbles in that bubble bath. This is an awfully long scene though....oh right, I hit pause.”

“This stuttering kid is starting to annoy the hell out of me. Someone warn Jonathan Lipnicki his career may be threatened!”

“Whoa, that was cool.”

“That was cool.”

“Getting bored....wait, was that telekinesis? What the hell?”

“These vehicles look like big toys. Which makes sense given the source material. Still, I hope the live-action Transformers looks better than this.”

“Right. Let the ten-year old and his friends fly off to stop the terrorist alone. It's not like these kids know magic. I've forgiven a lot of the outlandish plot twists up until now but---ah, Lady Penelope is going with them for adult supervision. Mmmmm, adult supervissssiii...I gotta get a girlfriend.”

“Do it! Strike him down!”

“Aaaand it's over. Hey there's seven minutes on the timer, I bet that something happens during the credits. Let me fast forward....”

“OK, I can't believe the credits were seven minutes long. Guess it was all the effects. Time to rate the movie on Netflix. It was really a ‘3' but I'll factor in that it was aimed at kids, had cool effects and entertained me, and throw in a 4th star. Now to sit down and write that great post I had in mind since last night. Or maybe I'll save it and review this movie. I should mention that damn song that was playing in gym before though....I'm sure I can find a seamless way to integrate it into a post about the Thunderbirds....”