Phantasmic Links 2.16.09

I am so glad I caught a matinee of Friday the 13th with my friends on Sunday. I'm not glad that I saw the “remake”, which kind of condenses the events of the first three films while telling a brand new story about consistently stupid teenagers. I'm just glad I didn't spend more than matinee prices on it. Even by slasher film standards, it exacerbates the worst traits and dialogue of the genre and manages to be unintentionally hilarious in several scenes. Not even topless waterskiing or the expertise of Sam Winchester could save this one. Betsy Palmer would be turning in her grave, if she wasn't still alive and ripping the remake a new one in Newsday.

Maybe someday there will be one of these films in which the kids put up a real fight and don't wander into dark cabins, lurk barely concealed watching the big scary killer guy, and make sure he's really dead when they do get the upper hand. This one was only an hour and a half, so it would have been only fifteen minutes with smart, capable protagonists. I'm not sure you're supposed to root for the guy with the big knife and hockey mask. Instead, spend some time clicking this week's PHANTASMIC LINKS. You won't regret it...:

(1) Christian Bale puts that punk David in his place after a trip to the dentist. That may be the funniest mashup of audio and video ever. Warning: NSFW language.
Hat Tip: Lyndon & Darrell.

(2) The extinct ibex is back, thanks to cloning. Anyone want to take bets on how long before I'm the first guy to be chased by a resurrected velociraptor?
H.T.: B13.

(3) Klingon night school prepares those angry forehead guys in body and mind.
H.T.: Jerry.

(4) Is there anything creepier than a geek with a camera at a comic book convention? Uh-oh...

(5)That Rubik's Cube solving robot apparently has its own website now. Who doesn't?
H.T.: Darrell.

(6) This is one of the best 404 pages I've ever seen. And yes, you can go for a train ride.

(7) Save the Words; Save the...Words! I adopted RHODOLOGIST, which is someone who studies roses. Or Rhodester; it might be one of those words whose meaning changes over time...
H.T.: B13.

(8) Super Mafia Land combines classic gameplay with a different Italian profession...

(9) Speaking of Italians, remember Joe Pesci's rap video? He was a wiseguy...

(10) This giant ant colony is AMAZING! It's kind of a shame they had to pour cement into it to see it...poor ants....
H.T.: B13.

Have a link to a game, movie, article, or anything else you think might be “phantasmic”? E-mail me and it just might appear in an upcoming PHANTASMIC LINKS!