My Gonnas

I was gonna write some original prose...
...but then I stole this format from Sean.

I was gonna be a famous comic book artist...
...but I let any progress I made in college as an illustrator slide as I focused more on digital art and designing junk mail.

I was gonna marry my first serious girlfriend...
...but she asked me not to ask, then moved to another state, then broke up with me.

I was gonna buy a house when I was 26...
...but I got scared when I sat down with my parents and estimated my monthly expenses as a homeowner.

I was gonna go to the same high school as my friends...
...but my parents sent me to a private school instead.

I was gonna ask my middle school crush to my high school senior prom...
...but I could never dial more than six digits of her phone number before chickening out.

I was gonna learn how to dance...
...but I never could get the hang of it.

I was gonna buy my uncle's house when he moved nearly two years ago...
...but then I found out how much taxes were in that area and opted not to, a wise move as I subsequently lost my job.

I was gonna give up Taco Bell forever...
...but caved in after a two year break once I got a new job in a town with limited lunch options.

I was gonna clean my room...
...but that was 15 years ago.

I was gonna go to Tashi Station to pick up some power converters...
...but then I remembered that wasn't me.

I was gonna lose my adolescent self-consciousness and learn to be myself and not hold back...
...but old habits die hard.

I was gonna take a page from George Costanza and start doing the opposite of my every instinct...
...but instead I keep doing the opposite of the opposite.

I was gonna drive across the country and see America...
...but I'm as afraid of missing more than one day of work as I am of long stretches of highway.

I was gonna fly to Europe when I was 25...
...but terrorists and the aforementioned fear of missing too much work prevented me from taking a friend up on that offer.

I was gonna stop making excuses...
...but the dog ate my resolve.

I was gonna walk from a bar in downtown New York back to Penn Station after a night of bar hopping to celebrate my birthday...
...but I realized after twenty minutes that it would take too long so I hailed a cab to avoid missing my train.

I was gonna take one train back to where I'd left my car...
...but track work diverted me to two other trains before I finally made it back.

I was gonna have washboard abs...
...but let's be honest: no I wasn't.

I was gonna be a winner...
...but soy un perdedor.

I was gonna do a lot with my life...
...but I haven't....

...YET...