T.I.L.T. Things I've Learned Thursday XVI

Here are yet more Things I've Learned Thursday, named for the day on which I share them, not necessarily the day on which I learned them:

* The answer to the question of ”What's the Worst That Could Happen?” is apparently “that movie”. Take four of my favorite comedians, put them in a low-budget comedy with the thinnest shell of a plot, and you end up with an hour-and-a-half DVD that takes me a week to get through.

* I had one of those “Whatever happened to...?” moments and found myself looking up Bridget Fonda. Now married with one son, she hasn't acted since 2003. Interestingly enough, her husband is one of my favorite composers, Danny Elfman. I did not know that.

* I was about to write a joke about how Danny Elfman is no relation to Jenna Elfman, but then I read that she's his niece.

* Nobody cares about or remembers what you did yesterday. Don't be like Al Bundy and live for those football trophies you won in high school; figure out instead how you can be a star tomorrow.

* “Metallica produce[d] videos for seventeen of the [Black] album's twelve songs.”
“Replaced by guitarist Kirk Hammett, [Dave] Mustaine went on to form his own successful and popular metal band, Winger.”
“Lars Ulrich has admitted that he stole the name Metallica from a fellow high school student who showed him a list of possible cool band names.” I learned a lot about Metallica from Darrell.

* Always check your fly before leaving the restroom. If you're feeling for your zipper as you're walking out into the hall, you might force a female coworker to quickly look at the ceiling. I had a...friend...who did that once...I imagine he was very embarrassed.

* It is not possible to build a sentient robot with an Erector Set, although that's a damn funny name for a kid's toy.

* The single most challenging thing to teach at an all-boy's Catholic high school is Ejaculatory Prayer, although I imagine the teachers in the coed Catholic schools invoked just as many guffaws if not worse. I think it would be difficult for adults to keep a straight face, let alone teenagers. It's probably why the term isn't used that often. Word meanings change in context, sometimes drastically.

* The easiest way to get a six-pack is not through sit-ups or any other intense exercise routine. Just go to the supermarket and buy one.