Am MCF now or have MCF ever been?
1. Have you ever killed a man?
2. With your own hands?
I don't know whose hands those are; I've never seen them before in my life!
3. What, in your opinion, is the best way to transport contraband across state and country lines?
I wouldn't know. By the way, do you know where I can buy some balloons? It's for a....birthday...
4. Even if you're transporting explosives?
I've never heard Mexican food referred to as “explosives” before...
5. Really? Have you ever known me to lie?
Have you ever known me to kill a man with my own hands and transport explosives across state and country lines?
6. Have you ever stolen a library book?
As long as I plan on returning it someday, it's technically “borrowed”.
7. On purpose, or only because you found it under your bed years after you reported it lost and paid the fine?
I told you I'm only borrowing the darn thing!
8. Where were you on November 1, 2007?
Three days away from my 33rd birthday, possibly drunk if that fell on a Friday? Was that a Friday? It's kind of a blur.
9. Can you prove it?
Well yeah, I guess if I got out a calendar I could prove what day of the week that was.
10. You had to think about that, didn't you?
Well yes, that's the way our brains work. We process thoughts which then translate to speech or action.
11. How much is it worth to you for me to pretend I didn't notice?
I go unnoticed for free on a daily basis; I'm not about to start paying for it.
12. Have you spent years building up an immunity to iocane powder? (And if you know a faster method, will you share it?)
Haha! You fool! You've made the classic blunder!
13. Name three different ways to start a fire.
Maybe it was always burning since the world's been turning. Maybe it was Webster trying to make a rocket for his teddy bear with that chemistry set! What are you asking me for?!
14. Now try to convince me you only know that because you were a Girl/Boy Scout/Guide once.
Actually, it's because I listened to a lot of bad music and watched a lot of bad television growing up in the ‘80s.
15. How many digits of pi can you recite from memory?
16. Did you have to count out the digits on your fingers to answer that?
17. Did you check online to make sure you remembered right before answering?
I was tempted, but no.
18. Does all this talk about numbers make you uncomfortable?
It excites me, actually. Is that weird?
19. Or are you just wondering what it has to do with the rest of the meme?
The rest of the what now?
20. Seriously, where did you bury the body?
Only the blue Fescue knows for sure.
21. Where were you on March 16, 2036?
Amid the wreckage of my beloved Manhattan, I used my powers of empathy to change the future by traveling back to the past to be interrogated by myself.
22. If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you jump, too?
When they jumped off, I jumped back to the past. Did you miss that episode?
23. What is the ninja replacement score for your life?
Just 1. I wouldn't replace anyone else, but replace me with Snake-Eyes and certain episodes of my life get a lot more interesting...