Nothing Day

It's definitely better to pair a vacation day with a weekend whenever possible. Through a combination of meeting schedules and having to use up leftover days from 2007 before the end of the month, I find myself working only Tuesday and Thursday this week, a schedule I was looking forward to. Monday was a productive day that included the start of my search for a new car. But Wednesday got away from me somehow.

I'm not sure how it happened exactly, but at some point I sat down at my keyboard and realized the day was over. Weekends have structure. I know when I'm going to church, or to a movie with my friends, or a happy hour, or to play paintball, or to play a gig with one of my bands. I have things to do and places to be at very specific times. I make a list every Friday night that includes these things, as well as blog posts, photo excursions, and chores like doing laundry. By Sunday night, when I've removed things from the list, I feel like I've accomplished something, that my time was well spent.

Weekdays are easier to plan. I don't need to come up with a schedule; work does that for me. I have deadlines for assignments, and I accept meeting appointments. I know where I have to be and when. I know what I have to do and when. When I lose track, I make a checklist. At the end of the day I go home. I eat dinner. I watch my shows when they're on, and my DVDs when they're not.

I didn't make a list for Wednesday. So much of my life has structure, necessary to my sanity, that sometimes I need a break. Sometimes it's boring. I have a good imagination, yet I'm terrible at improvisation. This week then, I feel like Wednesday didn't exist. I feel like Tuesday night was really long, and suddenly it's Thursday. I must have done something though, so I'll need to backtrack and see how I wasted the day:

• Woke up at 10 AM. Finished watching the Stargate Season 4 finale I'd begun before falling asleep the night before.

• Checked my e-mail. Read some blogs.

• Checked on my dad, recovering from a small medical procedure. Went outside to get the newspaper for him. Noticed what a nice day it was going to be, and started considering places to go.

• Folded laundry. Put recyclable items in recyclable bin. Sampled some of the chocolates I bought my mom for Easter. Started making a pizza.

• Started watching Stargate's Season 5 premiere. Paused to get pizza, then finished episode.

• Raised curtain to get some sunlight in my room. While still pondering what to do with my day, began cleaning out e-mail inbox, which contained over 1,000 messages, some still unread. Able to clear 170 just going through old link and photo e-mails from B13 alone.

• Found an addictive new “escape the room” game; made note of it for next week's links.

• Played Pac-Man. Started watching The Accused.

• Played Ms. Pac-man. Started watching Six Degrees of Separation.

• Logged in to my work e-mail briefly to turn off my “out of the office” message. Tried to resist the temptation to read work e-mails on my day off. Caved and read one or two before forcing myself to log out.

• Chatted with some friends online. Wondered why so many were surprised I was taking a day off. “A real day...for fun?” asked one.

• Turned off computer as the fan was getting loud after running it all day. Went in other room and finished watching The Accused.

• Suddenly, it was dinner time and the sun had set. Got a bowl of pasta, and finished watching Six Degrees of Separation.

And that brings us to the present. Technically, as I write this there are a few hours left in the day and I'll probably get in another Stargate episode or two, or start watching Troy, but for the most part this day is done. I did things I enjoyed and wanted to do, but not as much as I would have liked, and somehow I barely left the house. I don't regret taking the day; a friend recently described my ideas about work to be “unhealthy” so I probably shouldn't feel guilty about sitting in my room instead of sitting in an office. But after a cloudy morning, the sun did come out for a bit and I do feel bad about lying in front of a computer or a television all day. I had a full three-day weekend behind me, and I have a full one ahead of me that among other things will include both a happy hour and many rounds of paintball. I'm in good shape at work and should accomplish a lot in the two days I am putting in this week. So Wednesday was nothing, just an odd interlude, a cosmic break in the normal flow of time. Still, the next time I have a standalone day off, I probably should make a list.

That's right, I actually have to write “go outside” or I won't do it. I'm starting to understand why my dad had such a hard time adjusting when he retired, how frustrating it was when his life mirrored that of a cat, wandering the house and walking from window to window looking at the outside world. Sometimes I can't wait to retire, and other times I wonder what the heck I'm going to do with my time when I don't need to work. Sometimes, I can do all the things I do and still be bored by it all.