Curt Blogger and the Order of the Phoenix

Like many people, I've been wondering what happened to my friend Curt, The Happy Husband. After maintaining a blog with a focused theme for years, inspiring his friends to join the craze but always having the largest audience, he disappeared after his second kid was born. After years of praising marriage, showing how wonderful it was, and proving that life doesn't end after marriage as my dad and other veterans of marriage would joke, the message from his absence was that life ends once you have kids. That's closer to my mom's old joke, “Thank God you weren't twins.”

Well, I'm happy to report that this isn't the case. I learned Friday night what Curt has been up to, and why, other than the occasional quick link in my inbox, we don't hear from him. After seeing Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, I realized Curt was busy starring in a movie. It was uncanny. Normally, it bothers me when a film series recasts key players, but I think it was a wise choice to go with a more serious and mature lead, given the dark events he went through in the previous film, and even darker ones this time.

The movie itself, which I won't spoil even if you have read the book, did an excellent job condensing the longest novel in the series into two and a half hours. A lot got cut, some more essential than others, but they kept what they needed to make the story flow cohesively. The entire cast was perfect, and really brought to life everything I've read. I'd almost equate this with Empire, but having read the books I know where the next film is going to take us. Meanwhile, in terms of acting and special effects, I might consider this the best of the series.

The climactic battle at the end, moreso than anything else Rowling's words brought to life, is the best payoff I've seen this year since Transformers. I really do need to review that film of these days, but several factors are delaying my gushing. In terms of HTML, I know I'm going to need a plethora of links in order for it to make sense to the casual or non fans in my audience. There are tons of nods to fans and Easter Eggs, but I've already been over these repeatedly in forums with people who appreciate the references to the original series, G.I. Joe, Beast Wars, and My Little Pony as much as I do. I think a statement like “Jazz's maneuver with Devastator's gun barrel in tank mode is a direct homage to Kup using the same move on Blitzwing in the original movie” might be lost on some people. I wonder how many of you noticed that Optimus Prime hangs from underneath a bridge in a simian fashion similar to his descendant, Optimus Primal? Oh, I've wasted my life....

Getting back to the Order of the Phoenix, I have to note some great additions to the cast. Ralph Fiennes has more screen time and continues to be a very scary Lord Voldemort. I commend his integrity, and that of the filmmakers, in remaining unrecognizable and true to his literary counterpart. I've seen too many comic book movies lately in which characters unmask or have scars healed, solely for the purpose of letting a well known actor show his face. I didn't think I could detest Dolores Umbridge more in the film than in the book, but Imelda Staunton was a wonderful villain, beaming constantly while she said and did horrible, horrible things. If you've ever dealt with similar authority figures, you'll cringe and feel like you're back in school again. Finally, Evanna Lynch stood out as the aloof, spacey Luna Lovegood. She's not all there, and yet knows some crucial things.

I definitely recommend this film. If you've read the books, you'll notice what parts were left out and understand why. If you haven't read the books, bring a friend who has, not so much to fill in blanks as round out some of the condensed sections. I'll even share another fun fact; Curt's not the only one starring in this movie. Not only do I reprise my cloaked extra status as Dementor #2, but you might even see my face in a cameo as a giant. I have to say the CGI guys did an outstanding job turning my diminutive frame into a behemoth. I also came across an old photo manipulation I'd done that foreshadowed Curt's role, but I'm not sure how cool he'd be with having it posted. I may add it later if he remembers the image I'm referring to and gives it a green light. Until then, Expecto Patronum!

UPDATE: Curt said, ”I don't remember the picture in question. If it's cool, like the Tater Green Lantern, then yes. If it's embarrassing, like most pictures of TheWriteJerry, then no.” I choose to take that as a “yes”: