Things you don't wanna hear...
2. “They only bite if you’re afraid of being bit.”
3. “You kiss like my brother!”
4. “I forgot to tell you; we’re out of toilet paper.”
5. “Hey, has anyone seen the pin from this grenade?”
6. “I hope you’re sitting down...”
7. “I’ve got bad news and I’ve got worse news. Which do you want to hear first?”
8. “I’m a chef; I don’t have time to wash my hands!”
9. “You’d look good on my wall.”
10. “Your keyboard is waterproof, right?”
11. “Bring your own food, but make sure it’s classy so the meeting seems like a catered affair.”
12. “Hey, I forget; did we fuel up before taking off?”
13. “All bloggers are now required to disclose their full names and likenesses to the public.”
14. “What happened to the tissue samples I left on the kitchen counter?”
15. “It’s not me; it’s you.”
16. “Would the owner of a burning car please report to the front desk as soon as possible?”
17. “Hey, do you usually glow in the dark?”
18. “Yeah, those brakes don’t actually work.”
19. “Bundle up; it’s going to be a cold Summer.”
20. “And now, here’s President Clinton. Let’s hear what she has to say...”
posted by MCF at 2:00 AM
5 Comments:
#20 made this all worth reading ;)
#15 is the best for me.
Didn't you use 9 to pick up a girl a few days back?
I hate this google login.
Nono, I usually tell them they'd look good "in my basement", and for some reason that has never worked, but it does shed even more light on #27...
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