Phantasmic Links 9.4.06

I had a fairly interesting Sunday this weekend. It all began around 6 AM. I was having a weird dream in which a flea market and street fair had infested both our street and our driveway, at a ridiculously early hour without warning, and we couldn't get our cars out. When I went out the back door, my mom's car was parked on our verandah. I asked my dad how he got it there and only got back a cryptic and slightly annoyed, “The same way they did!” Then I heard him mumbling in a panic, then cry “FIRE! FIRE!”, then call my mom's name, then cry “FIRE!” again.

I opened my eyes, realizing in an instant that the last portion of my dream was no dream. My dad really was shouting “FIRE!” and sounding very panicky. Beneath my bedroom door I saw a glow, and leapt out of bed to rush out to the blaze I knew would greet me. I expected(hoped for) something small, like our toaster oven, which has seen better days. I flung my door open, and saw only the light of the kitchen. The toaster oven looked fine, but I raced onward. My dad was running back and forth, looking for the source of the smoke he told me he smelled and saw. I neither smelled nor saw anything, but in the early hours my sense of smell probably wasn't that good. I heard my mom stirring now, and ran back to call her. She has the best sense of smell in our family, and could pinpoint the source of the problem. Within moments the confusion began to die down, as we found no evidence of a fire. I asked my dad if maybe he was daydreaming and he insisted that he was standing by the sink reading the paper when he smelled something and the room got hazy. My mom pointed out that maybe he needed to clean his glasses and went back to bed. I hung around, continuing to sniff the air and be certain. I checked the basement, and all seemed in order down there as well. Upstairs, one of our cats perched on the furthest edge of our dining room table, still wide-eyed from my dad's outburst. Meanwhile, my father turned the stove on to boil some eggs, and I immediately thought about a friend's father who was badly burned in a grease fire in the kitchen a few years ago. If there was a gas leak, there would be an explosion as soon as he turned on the stove. The split-second in which this thought occurred to me wasn't enough time to even shout out a warning.

But, nothing happened.

So, satisfied that it was a false alarm, I went back to sleep. Later, I'd head out to see Beerfest, which was damn funny. Those Broken Lizard guys were on top of their game, more than topping Club Dread, a film many fans of Super Troopers were disappointed with. I didn't think it was as good as Super Troopers, but I still liked it and appreciated its jabs at the horror genre. Beerfest proved to possess the same unique blend of sophomoric and intellectual humor as their previous outings, and references to films like Das Boot, City Slickers II, and An American Werewolf in London can be found, some more subtle than others. Interestingly enough, the teller asked for I.D. before selling me a ticket. I haven't been carded in a movie theater since the ‘90s, so I probably should have taken it as a complement. Part of me wanted to tell the kid I was going to see a movie about beer, and wasn't buying it. Ironically, I was probably the oldest person in the theater too.

After the movie, I headed to a nearby mall for shopping, browsing, and strolling. On the return to my car, I could swear I heard a loudspeaker and some drums in the distance. Curiosity got the better of me, so after putting my packages in the trunk, I walked in the direction of the noise. Sure enough, a Labor Day parade was in full swing. I can't remember the last time I was a spectator at a Fire Department parade. I was sorry I didn't have my camera with me. This was a parade my dad and I had played in with more than one band over the years, and one the town I was in had discontinued following the tragic collapse of some bleachers. This was the first time in years that the parade was back on since the disaster, but none of the bands we played with were there. Indeed, as I walked along the sidewalk, there were few instrumental groups. Most fire departments were led by musicians carrying drums and glockenspiels, or by bagpipers. I saw only one band with brass and woodwind instruments. I watched about five or six departments go by, trucks outnumbering people, and realized something: parades are kind of boring from the sidewalk. Maybe it's just one of those things that's better with beer. And so, I called it a day and returned home from my adventures, to gather this week's PHANTASMIC LINKS:

3D animation gives us a glimpse into cellular activity.

Animation from the most recent He-man series is set to music by Sevendust. I've never seen a single episode, but the tight animation and some of the plot points I discerned in the video tell me it was a worthy update I'll need to check out at some point.

Speaking of updates to ‘80s cartoons, I wonder if the new Thundercats will be as good as the original. I like the concept design for Mumm-Ra, but the idea of younger incarnations of Lion-O and the others may prove to be a deterrent to older viewers. There's this strange trend in animation lately, in which cartoons seem to be geared toward kids.

The epic Mario saga is finally complete. I don't know if anyone's followed this series of fan films, but they're a testament to the power of good storytelling and an even better classical score.

We'll move from classical music to an hilarious instant classic, as Otis' latest Fractured Fairy Tale features some familiar faces...and pieces of faces. I blame Darrell.

This cassette generator will finally get you that demo tape you always wanted, audio not included. Here's mine:


Between Treacherous Objects isn't exactly a game, though you control what you see as you move through the layers. I'd call it an interactive work of modern art.

Sometimes I'll come across a game that seems like a quick and simple diversion, and two hours later I still haven't posted the links because I've been playing the game. Runes of Shalak is one of those games. It starts out easy enough, but gets progressively more complex despite the old-school graphics. When I was done I needed a mindless shooter like Twin Power to cleanse my mental palette.

What's better than Wayne Brady and Stephen Colbert speaking mock German? How about Brady and Colbert rapping? Sometimes, I really miss that show.

Continuing the theme of shows I miss, this recut of “The Return of Optimus Prime” not only contains strong language, but the jokes will fly far over the heads of most of my readers. Sadly, I appreciated every reference, and have watched it enough times since Rey showed it to me last week to feel obliged to share it.

SAD UPDATE: Crocodile Hunter dies in tragic Stingray accident. Perhaps you can only tempt fate and survive so many times, but it’s still sad, especially for his wife and two small children. He will be missed.