9.01.2006

MiSfit SuPerherOes

In the tradition of Mystery Men, The Specials, The Ripping Friends, The Great Lakes Avengers, Who Wants to be a Superhero, and The Tick, and because I spent a portion of my evening doodling while watching The Tick on DVD, I'm starting September with some misfit heroic creations of my own:


Commander Cotton Swab

Carmine Cotone toiled nights as a janitor at his local cotton swab factory for years. One night, spies from a rival company broke in to discover the secret formula to the new, softer swabs. Carmine happened upon the intruders who, after a brief struggle, tossed the diminutive but scrappy custodian on to a conveyor belt. Unconscious, he was rudely awakened when he was caught in the packaging machinery, which tore off both his arms. The intense heat cauterized his wounds even as some of the secret formula seeped in to his blood stream. He passed out once more, allowing his body to go in to a regenerative state, giant cotton swabs growing in place of his arms. He vowed to use his new soft touch to rid the city of grime in the tightest places, falling in to a state of denial to cope with the horrible and unlikely disfigurement that had befallen him.


Krashlog

A mad scientist living in the woods created a sophisticated artificial intelligence capable to tracking all the computer errors in the world. Because he was insane, he carved out a fallen log outside his cabin laboratory, installing the hardware of his new system inside. As soon as Krashlog went online, it realized the evil of its creator. Sensing an imminent and fatal crash in the scientist's supercomputer, one that would cause a spark which would burn the cabin down, Krashlog quickly distracted his creator by spewing data on crashes around the globe. When the first sparks leapt from the main system, Krashlog summoned the strength to disconnect and roll to safety before the whole place exploded. His first act of heroism would be his last as, lacking basic mobility and possessing only a limited back up power supply, he lay in the woods for weeks, eventually running out of energy completely.


Mannequin Gal

Lonely department store mogul Taylor McCarthy watched the film Mannequin one too many times, and decided to train a flexible female protégé to rid his city of crime. He browsed store after store, searching for the perfect candidate and when he found her, he unleashed Mannequin Gal upon an unsuspecting criminal underworld. What she lacks in mobility she makes up for in flexibility. Villains can't help but execute double takes when they see her silhouette on a rooftop, moments before Taylor, crouching by her heels, loses his grip and drops plastic fury upon the scions of evil. She might go to pieces, and she's been known to lose her head, but she'll always keep her cool.

* * * * *


If you made it this far through my latest descent into insanity, one that may or may not become a recurring feature, your reward is a word search featuring more misfit heroes. Can you find these characters before they foul up again?:

1) Ambush Bug
2) American Maid
3) Arthur
4) Big Bertha
5) The Blue Raja
6) The Bowler
7) Deadly Girl
8) Die Fledermaus
9) Doorman
10) Flatman
11) Hindsight Lad
12) MCF
13) Minute Man
14) Mr. Immortal
15) Mr. Furious
16) Sewer Urchin
17) The Shoveler
18) Slyce & Dice
19) Speedball
20) The Tick


Puzzle may be clicked for a larger image. Mannequin Gal created using Hero Machine 2.0. Word search created using The Artistic Network Word Search Generator. Idea stolen from Lyndon. Too much free time always signifies the need for a girlfriend. If you experience dizziness, nausea, headache, blurred vision, pathos, ennui, or rash, stop reading and consult a physician immediately. Blog only as directed. Character names and copyrights belong to their respective copyright holders. Mannequin Gal belongs to no man. Taxes, license, and title not included. Dealer stock limited. Do not attempt to read this blog or drink while driving. Anheuser Busch, St. Louis, Missouri.

UPDATE 9/4: Here's the solution.

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4 Comments:

Blogger Curt said...

The old Justice League (not the old-old, but the one from the late '80s) had a few of these characters. At least one of them (I think his name was Bluejay) accidentally travelled forward in time and joined the Legion of Substitute Heroes. An entire group of these guys (featuring Major Disaster and the Scarlet Skier) tried opposing the JL, then tried joining them. J'onn decided to accept them into the JL and post them in Antarctica, where they foiled a planetary takeover attempt by some robotic penguins.

I just needed to get that off my chest.

9/01/2006 9:17 AM  
Blogger Lyndon said...

When you said you were going to steal the idea, I didn't think you were going to make a word search so soon. Nice choice of topic though.

Ya we definitely got to much time on our hands :-) It least we get time to catch up on our DVD's.

9/01/2006 9:46 AM  
Blogger Otis said...

Crash log reminded me of Ren and Stimpy. Good stuff as always MCF.

9/02/2006 1:01 AM  
Blogger kevbayer said...

I thought the cotton-swab guy looked like "mashed potato guy" before I read his bio...

9/02/2006 4:38 AM  

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