M.C.F.A.T. XV: Answers

Well, here are the chosen few to participate in the fifteenth edition of the Mysterious Cloaked Figure's Astonishing Test:

Darrell

Scott

Sean

Neolithic

Maybe this is another feature of the Nexus that has run its course, like the Blog Party and possibly Photo Blog Wednesday, which I've canceled in favor of something else this week. Only time will tell, but for now, here are my answers to last week's test:

1) Your life is going to be a graphic novel. Who's writing it, and who's drawing it?
I think the wit and irony of Douglas Adams would definitely capture the improbability of my day to day existence, as unlikely incidents lead me to deviate from the norm. I haven't been through what he put Arthur Dent through, but if the Earth were destroyed tomorrow and I found myself under the scrutiny, and inevitable mockery, of an alien race, I'd simply shrug and think, “of course™.” Sadly, Mr. Adams passed away in 2001, so I'd settle for Scott Adams, who could also capture my bad luck and ironic existence, especially in the office. He'd also be perfectly capable of handling the art chores in a pinch, but since this is a fantasy question I'll go with classic John Byrne, who could draw me in a goofy ”What The--?!” style while making those around me the typical heroic ideals.

2) Weather patterns are shifting every year. Wars are exploding across the globe. When and how do you see the world coming to an end?
“I think this world is going to end soon.” With every horrible thing that happens out there, that saying is more and more common, especially with my folks. Things do seem in a state of decline, but whether we blow each other up in the near future or our orbit decays and we fall into the sun eons from now, I cannot say. If I had to make an educated guess based on my life's experience with improbability, I'd say a scary-ass giant rabbit would appear to me and tell me the world would end in 28 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes, and 12 seconds. When that time elapsed, the world would be demolished to make way for an intergalactic highway, and I'd be the sole survivor, finding myself under the scrutiny, and inevitable mockery, of an alien race. “Of course™.”

3) What, if anything, would turn you into a supervillain?
I've been hurt physically and emotionally over the years. I've suffered verbal and physical abuse at the hands of friends, family and foes. I've lost pets and I've lost relatives, and I've seen some real atrocities hit too close to home. I think it takes a lot to push me over the edge, but the thing that finally sets me off is going to be something minor and inconsequential, like finding a stapler out of place on my desk and swearing vengeance, or something equally silly. Either that, or the last straw will be falling under the scrutiny, and inevitable mockery, of an alien race.

4) Let's try another showdown question: TMNT vs. The Kurgan; who wins?
Everybody brought good answers to the table with this one. Scott pointed out the obvious advantage the Turtles would have, simply retracting their heads if Kurgan tried to behead them. Sean pointed out that the only way to defeat the immortal would be to behead him, and knowing his weakness would be the key to victory. The turtles are all skilled martial artists and could hold their own, but I doubt they'd resort to lethal force, at least without provocation. I figure The Kurgan would deliver the first injury, probably to Mikey. It would be bad, but not fatal, because the comic relief rarely dies, unless Joss Whedon is writing the story, in which case all bets are off. In my tale The Kurgan would probably immobilize Mikey by slicing at his ankle. He'd be crawling for his nunchuks, vulnerable to a fatal blow, when Donnie leapt in to block the sword swipe with his bo staff. The sword would slice clean through the staff and into Don's chest, killing him. This would first send Raph into a berserker rage, and his sai would definitely draw blood. Leo meanwhile would hang back and meditate, fighting his urge to avenge his brother with the same fury displayed by Raph, knowing it would only lead to defeat. Raph would eventually lose a hand and as he stared up defiantly, Leo would finally intervene, his swords meeting the Kurgan’s. Two warriors would face off, and Leo would ultimately behead his enemy as he once did the Shredder. The turtles would win at a high price indeed. I'd miss the outcome of the fight though, as I'd be abducted in the middle of it and subjected to the scrutiny, and inevitable mockery, of an alien race.

SPECIAL BONUS QUESTION: The year is 3994. What's a Mok?
Sean discovered a role playing game while Neolithic recalled a cherished cartoon, Thundarr the Barbarian. Scott mentioned a mutated gerbil and as is the case from time to time, I'm not quite sure where Darrell was going anymore than he was. A Mok is a creature from the Thundarr cartoon, and by extension, apparently an RPG. In 1994, a planet flies between the Earth and the moon, wreaking gravitational havoc such as tidal waves and earthquakes. 2000 years pass before a new, primitive society begins to emerge amid the wreckage. It was a great series, in which barbarians and warriors would clash and sometimes stumble over a filing cabinet or some other artifact of “our” time. In the sky, the two halves of the moon hung as a reminded of the great cataclysm. One of Thundarr's traveling companions was Ookla the Mok, a bipedal lion-like creature armed with a bow and a vocabulary of grunts, a formidable ally if not original.

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This concludes the M.C.F.A.T., the last one until I decide to do another one. Be sure to tune in tomorrow for something that will no doubt lead to the scrutiny, and inevitable mockery, of me by an alien race.