Isn't it (also) Ironic?

Yesterday I woke up early for a 9:15 dental appointment, leaned over and picked up my wristwatch to check the time, and saw that it was 9:24. My life, like that song ”Ironic”, by Alanis Morissette, often has similar ironies. What if there were lost lyrics, other ironies like “ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife”? I leave it up to you to decide which of the following conditions are based on actual events, and which are completely hypothetical.

It's like needing to print 24 pages, and running out of paper after printing 23.

It's like getting the last slice of free pizza from a lunch meeting, only to have it burn in the microwave and set off a fire alarm that evacuates two office buildings.

It's like running to a train station, arriving as the last train pulls in, and slipping on wet pavement just before the train leaves you.

It's like automatic sprinklers running during a thunderstorm.

It's like having tickets for Bob Seger only to realize you got tickets for Bob Saget instead.(Hat tip to The Simpsons).

It's like being one digit short of a winning lottery number.

It's like renting six bicycles with friends and getting the one with the flat tire.

It's like spraining your finger playing dodgeball the day before you have to play in an all-county concert.

It's like a box of golf pencils when all you need is an eraser.

It's like escaping a ferocious dog by pedaling your bike out into traffic.

It's like a fresh box of cereal and a container of sour milk.

It's like being allergic to living.

It's like getting all the answers to a test you failed the day before.

It's like finding ants in your sugar container after you've already had some.

It's like making your subway connection only to have the tunnel closed for construction.

It's like the perfect parking spot...under a sap-dripping tree or worse, a nest of pigeons.

It's like leaping to the sidewalk to avoid a car and getting run down by a bike messenger.

It's like slacking off on the job once and getting caught.

It's like a rare photo of Sean Connery autographed by Roger Moore.(Another Simpsons reference).

It's like waking up and making it through an entire day, only to learn the whole day was a dream and the real one still awaits.

It's like a free movie pass...to the theatrical re-release of Almost Heroes.

I can't imagine why she never used any of these. Have I missed any lost lyrics?