J-No's Big Phat Geek Wedding

Fans of The Write Jerry will be pleased to know that his wedding went off without a single hitch, save for the actual hitching of course. I half-hoped to see Jerry doing the “Cue-Tip” dance from the movie Hitch, but was surprised to learn that Jerry's actually a pretty good dancer, and he more than kept pace with his lovely bride and the rest of the wedding party.

I'm going to share a secret about myself. I'm realizing, some days more than others, that publishing information about oneself on the internet isn't exactly a secret, and that I'm less “mysterious” and “cloaked” than I'd like to believe. That's not a bad thing necessarily, but I should use words like “secret” with a grain of salt. At any rate, I've never been a good dancer. I don't like to dance at weddings and rarely do, today being no exception. My friend Rey's son, at 3.5 years of age, is a better and less inhibited dancer. As he led a ring of gorgeous bridesmaids, even the groom had to stop by our table and point out how the kid's skills were putting me to shame. When I was his age, I danced with the same sense of abandon, but a fraction of his ability. He mimicked and assimilated the moves of everyone around him, adding to and embellishing them with his own signature.

As I got older, I became more and more self-conscious, more aware that what I thought was good dancing, actually resembled fits of epilepsy. I used to be very naive and I never knew when people were mocking me. When they chanted my name and told me to “go”, told me that it was “my birthday”, I believed them. In time I recognized the laughter around me for what it truly was, and realized why people were always so eager to see me dance. They didn't want to see me “go”, and it certainly wasn't “my birthday”. Of course, I realize I've covered my sordid history with dancing before. The secret about myself, something that may have even been a secret to me, is that I LIKE dancing. I look at my friend's son and wish I could go out there, even though I know what's cute at 3 may not be at 30.

The songs at weddings are not the kind of music I typically listen to. At one point today, my friend Curt surprised me by referencing Drowning Pool's “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor”, and suggesting that I might need something like that to get me out there. Actually, he called it “Put Those Bodies on That Floor”, but he knew what he meant, as did I. Since wedding songs are something a couple must choose together, I'm sure someday I'll have a hard time selling my bride-to-be on heavier music, and will defer to her tastes. I'd be happy enough she was marrying me, but in the wake of Curt's joke I couldn't help thinking how cool it would be to hear ”Smells Like Teen Spirit” at my own wedding someday. One song is all I ask. The rest of the repertoire can include many of the staples heard today, such as Paradise By the Dashboard Light”, Summer Nights, and ”Shout”. Because the real secret I'm sharing tonight is that, while I wouldn't listen to these songs in any other setting, I can't sit still when I hear them at weddings. My feet start tapping. My fingers start dancing. My head bops. The music gets inside and makes me move, and when I don't dance it's out of supreme effort and restraint, lest I embarrass myself.

Since this is my site, I'm allowed three paragraphs of indulgent self-absorption, but I probably should say a bit more about the actual wedding. The ceremony was beautiful, held outdoors on the greenest lawn I've ever seen. The weather was perfect. The sky was a vibrant shade of blue and it was cool enough for formal wear, but not yet cold. In the years I've worked with him, there have been days where Jerry has seemed more nervous and neurotic than even ME. Today he stood not shaking, with a smile firmly planted on his face, spoke his vows in a clear voice to his beautiful intended, and delivered a great speech at the reception where, as I mentioned, he also danced like Desi Arnaz. I'm sure he'll have plenty to say at his own site when they return in a week or so from their honeymoon. I took some pictures too, but I won't post them before the groom posts his(and before I get permission from him).

Congratulations again, Jerry and Fern. Thanks for inviting me to your special day, and may you enjoy such clarity and happiness for the rest of your lives.