10.27.2005

Feels Like Friday

I realize that, since I post just shy of midnight most of the time, it WILL be Friday by the time most of you read this. However, I'm speaking of today which, as I write this, is still Thursday. Confusing, isn't it? Perhaps because this has been an unconventional week, I've consistently felt like I was a day ahead of where I actually was. Maybe it's simply been a LONG week.

My former supervisor, who was laid off a few months back, has been freelancing with our company. As I proceeded to drop off some printouts before calling it a night around 6 PM, I passed him in the hall. “Go home!” he said in his perpetually upbeat tone, “You don't work for me anymore!” I'll say one thing for my old boss: he always had his priorities straight. He always made time for his wife and kids, and occasionally took time off for HIMSELF, just to play golf or see a sporting event. I remember on one of the many occasions he urged me to take a real vacation, hearing his philosophy on life: “You have to make plans, have things to look forward to. I find that having something to look forward to is necessary to stay sane.” Sometimes it feels like the only thing I really look forward to is the weekend, to having a few days before returning for another week of meetings and deadlines, to beginning the cycle anew. Five days goes by fast most of the time, this week notwithstanding, but two days always goes by faster.

Hopefully my sense of days will realign itself soon enough. This weekend will be an hour longer, thanks to the “magic” of daylight saving time. It's not just my daily perception that needs to be realigned, however. I realized today that I'm still very much in an August state of mind, very much considering this to be the end of Summer when in fact we're well into Autumn with November just around the corner. We still had some nice days before it rained for over a week, but we emerged into colder air, even with the occasional appearance of the sun. I have a hard time with this transition EVERY year and, through some form of moronic denial, it takes months before I grudgingly get out a jacket and dress more warmly. A walk into town today wearing a thin dress shirt nearly killed me. Reluctantly, I may have to wear a jacket tomorrow. Part of it stems from the denial, but I think kids may have made fun of me in elementary school for wearing a jacket when they didn’t think it was that cold. For some reason I now see it as a sign of “toughness”, enduring the cold, embracing and becoming a part of it. I hope that by typing this, I'll recognize that subconscious trigger from my past, and actually bundle up.

When I left work tonight, it sure didn't feel like I had to go back for a few days. When I walked out of the house into the sun this morning, I sure didn't expect the bitter cold that greeted me, and with the sun I didn't expect it to last. There are many ways of gauging which day it is, be it what's on television or what I'm having for dinner. But days have a distinctive flavor, a distinctive feel, and I think sometimes that sense spills over. I guess the important thing is that TOMORROW will be Friday for real, and in about six months I should be able to leave my jacket home.

Maybe my perceptions change to the reality I wish existed in the now, rather than the later....

1 Comments:

Blogger Lorna said...

It feels like Wednesday to me, although like you I've had an emotional couple of days: Dave came homne from his Big Adventure on the same day that his dad went into hospital. It turns out not to be serious, but it did change our priorities and our sense of what the day was in comparison to our expectations. Still, I do like to live in the day, so I'm working on catching up.

10/28/2005 8:50 PM  

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