Spontaneity

I don't know the meaning of the word.

I'm not sure why. I know the phrase ”I love it when a plan comes together!” was almost a motto for me in elementary school. I've always planned, always worked out numerous simulations and scenarios in my head before actually doing anything. I've traveled many miles before leaving my driveway. I've had deep meaningful conversations with girls I've never even spoken a word to. Sometimes my plans become reality; most of the time they never do.

If anyone should understand the unpredictability of life, it's me. There are some things you just can't plan on. I planned to write last night's post in one sitting but halfway through the first section, I heard a dripping in our kitchen. The skylight's been leaking every time it rains, but the weather hasn't allowed us a chance to go up on the roof and repair it. My dad wanted me to help box weeds over at his vacant lot on Sunday, but I suspect roof work is in my immediate future as well now that it's warming up around here. For now, we simply bandage the problem with buckets. As the night wore on, the droplets made their way to three locations. Two buckets had to be placed on the floor; one on the top of our refrigerator, with the bucket extruding about an inch over the edge. I finished my post, went to sleep, and let the dripping in the other room soothe me to sleep.

By morning the rain had stopped. I took a sports drink and put it in the freezer, to cool it down for the day. After my shower, I proceeded to pack my lunch before running out the door to get to work for an early meeting. I opened the freezer, and realized the chain-of-events I'd carelessly set in motion seconds too late. The bucket toppled forward, soaking my hair and right arm with more rain water than I would have expected. Outside of comics and cartoons, this was the first implementation of the old bucket-perched-on-top-of-a-door gag I'd ever encountered. It may well be the world's first self-inflicted incident.

Planning is futile. With my work situation I've taken to carrying a calendar again, jotting down meetings and due dates during the week, and upcoming musical gigs on the weekend. Whenever there's a hole, I plan to take off. This coming Monday offers one such opportunity. I asked for the day earlier this week, intending to go to a beach. Lately I've been drawn to the shore. I don't know why. I've lived on an island my whole life, yet never learned to swim. The nearest beach has always been a five-minute drive, yet I've been there perhaps 15-20 times in 30 years. Every time we've had an unseasonably warm day these last few months, I've been compelled to get to water. Tonight I planned to work late to prepare for a meeting on Tuesday. By 5:40 I'd done everything I needed to do, and warily left work early. There was a nagging feeling that I'd forgotten to do something. Yesterday I told someone on the phone “I'll be right there!” to look at a proof of a book jacket I'd designed. This morning I got a call that I still had not come over. I worry about my memory.

A glimpse of the sun won out over my mental crisis, and I fled work like an escaped prisoner. I've felt that a lot this week on the days when I drove home while the sun was still out, and I haven't been looking back either. My commute generally takes me through the center of my island, and I can go months without seeing water. Tonight I took the scenic route, and drove home along the shore as much as possible. It was a snap decision too, enjoying my drive so much at one point that I went left instead of right, going out of my way a bit but appreciating fresh air and a clear sky.

* * *
It would be remiss of me in a post about spontaneity(one which I mentally composed while driving along the shore), not to plug my friend Jerry's Impromptu Blog Party. It's definitely a different breed of party metaphor than the sort I've been doing. Maybe it's because I commuted to college, but I've never held a party on the spur of the moment, real or metaphorical. Perhaps I could learn a thing or two from TheWriteJerry....

His topic is “favorite catch phrases” and what phrase would YOU be known for.

Here are some of my favorites:

”I love it when a plan comes together!”

”Hey HEY Hey!”

”D'oh!”

“Ay-Carumba!”

“Thank you! Come again!”

“Exxxxxcelent!”

“If anyone needs me, I'll be in my room.”

”Avengers ASSEMBLE!”

”F*** THAT.”

”Whatchu talkin' ‘bout Willis?

”Oooooooo-kay!”

I've definitely been known to over-quote The Simpsons. In Middle School I'd often imitate Bull Shannon's ”Oooooooo-kay!” to the dismay of my friends. There was the one Summer after passing a newly landscaped front yard that I called to my friend in my best impression of Terrence Stamp: “KNEEEEL before SOD!” I thought that was a lot funnier than my friends did, especially a few months later when I was still referencing it.

I recent years when things go wrong or I've mentally revisited an embarrassing moment, I've found myself muttering “sonofamonkey!” under my breath. Fortunately, no one's ever heard me use this bizarre phrase.

Unfortunately, I just shared it with the world.

This is why I don't often risk spontaneity.