3.24.2005

I am the Nexus.

I'm not superstitious, or I shouldn't be. My parents have always taught me that superstition was against our religion. Still, an awful lot of rare things happen to me that my luck has long since crossed beyond questioning coincidences. Every once in a while, a series of unlikely occurrences make me wonder if improbability is in fact my mutant ability.

Take tonight, for example. I exited my office building a little after 7:30, and made my way up the front steps to the nearly empty parking lot. A shadow moved, and I saw a small cat which I called out to. The frightened creature scurried down the sidewalk across my path, and as I watched him disappear into the night it occurred to me that a BLACK CAT had just bisected my routine trek. But I'm not superstitious.

I stopped off at the supermarket on the way home. When it came time to check out, I noted that the sign for the express lane said “12 items or less”. I was certain I had less, and as I unloaded counted to (of course™) 13. ”Triskaidekaphobia” isn't a word I've uttered since fifth grade, when I was trying to sound smart to impress a female friend, and I wasn't about to speak it again. All went well despite the unlucky number, and the cashier gave me no trouble for being one over. I checked both my bags thoroughly and noted a third bag on the turnstile that I nearly left. As I made my way outside I thought I heard shouting behind me. When I made my way past the store window the cashier was banging on the glass and held up a plastic bag. Item 13, an Easter card for my parents, had been given it's own bag apart from the other 12 items, and had been easily overlooked.

After dinner my dad hinted that my mom had hidden a small apple pie somewhere. The years have taught her that with my lack of self-control it's necessary to conceal dessert so I don't spoil my dinner. I decided to look for it, checking the usual drawers where pies have been found in the past. For some reason I opened the cabinets over the stove, a place pies have never been found, and a metal lid from a spaghetti pot rolled out, bounced off my head, and landed on the floor.

I'm still not superstitious, but if aliens destroy my blog tomorrow, I wouldn't be all that much surprised.

10 Comments:

Blogger MCF said...

hat tip to Rey for that last link.

3/25/2005 12:06 AM  
Blogger TheWriteJerry said...

I hate those turnstile grocery store bag things. People forget their bags all the time. What idiot thought they were a good idea and then why did every other idiot with a grocery store follow his/her lead?

3/25/2005 2:24 AM  
Blogger Wendy said...

13 is my lucky number!

3/25/2005 8:26 AM  
Blogger Kev said...

I love that aliens destroying your blog thing!! And I also extremely dislike those turnstiles, unless the cashier lets me spin it really fast.

3/25/2005 10:58 AM  
Blogger averagejoe said...

You're Nexus??? Wow, do you really dream of mass murderers and then go execute them? You rock! Any chance you could dream of some of the bozos here on Earth soon?

3/25/2005 6:58 PM  
Blogger TheWriteJerry said...

Boy, Joe, if you only knew how funny that comment was...

But I am sworn to secrecy.

3/25/2005 9:41 PM  
Blogger Rey said...

I'm still cracking up about your mom still hiding pies from you. awesome.

3/25/2005 11:13 PM  
Blogger MCF said...

Wow, Joe. It's not often that someone out-obscures the original obscure reference boy. Rarer still that I'd have to google and see what the heck you're talking about.

If I wasn't sure I was an only child, I'd wonder if we were separated at birth....

3/26/2005 12:56 AM  
Blogger averagejoe said...

Brain pattern cloning maybe? I can get pretty obscure. In fact I have a favorite short-lived NBC series that I seem to be the only one who remembers it.

3/26/2005 9:46 AM  
Blogger MCF said...

AverageJoe...a synthezoid? It all makes sense now!

3/26/2005 10:49 PM  

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