The Opposite of MCF

It's safe to say I have a bit of a Peter Pan complex. I've never really matured to the point I should be at any age, and I've always been years if not decades behind my peers. How many 30-year-olds would spend a Friday night watching Harold and Kumar go to White Castle? How many would read Batman comics on a Saturday after their biannual dental cleaning, rather than a real book they've only read half of. What depths of maturity would such an individual lack to push them to get as many high scores as possible in old-school video games? Would an adult tape Saturday morning cartoons, and keep up with the new TMNT and The Batman? Would they play a 20-hour video game through a second time using a walkthrough, just to find bonuses they missed the first time through? Would their bookmarks include comical Superfriends bios and the home of the All Your Bases videos?

I don't honestly know if my interests make me immature or just a geek, or a combination of the two. Many friends my age are married and some even have children. People progress at different rates though, and peers aren't necessarily a good meter by which to judge oneself. Outward appearances don't always indicate real maturity. I remember once I decided to be more mature. I was in seventh grade and thought my friends were outgrowing me even then. My parents and teachers were always saying I should grow up and, inspired by an episode of Mr. Belvedere in which young Wesley tries to act like an adult by talking like one, I did the same thing. I became a walking thesaurus, spouting twelve-dollar words at every felicitous opportunity. Providentially, I outgrew the habit quickly as it proved exceedingly annoying to my friends, especially since I occasionally seasoned my words with a British accent. By high school and college I learned that it was easier to fit in if I went to the other extreme and dumbed down my words.

Kids are always being pressured to grow up, not just by peers, but by parents who should know better. Wouldn't parents be at the point in their lives where they realize how quickly life advances, and want their children to cherish and enjoy themselves before they inevitably had to face the responsibilities of an adult? I never heard “enjoy yourself while you still don't have to work.” I heard, “such-and-so works and has the same homework you do” and “when I was your age, all I did was play too and now my parents are dead and I regret not helping them. Someday you'll feel guilty about the way you treated us, and then it will be too late. Ask your friends; I bet they help their parents around the house.”

In church tonight our pastor was leafing though a local paper and criticizing a spa offering a discount to teenagers. It's the “in” thing to deal with stress, and teenage girls “only” have to pay $70 for a facial. One facility offers lip and underarm waxing to girls as young as NINE. Earlier this week in gym I stared in disbelief at the television as Entertainment Tonight ran a story on young bodybuilders. When I say young, I mean ten or eleven year old boys with rock-hard abs were grinning as a trainer yelled at them to do more pushups and their mothers looked on proudly. I wanted weights when I was younger. I thought it would get me girls if I had He-man muscles. My mom refused to get them for me on the grounds that it would stunt my growth. Even when one of my younger friends around the corner had barbells in his garage, my dad cautioned me with the same advice. I can't imagine being shorter than 5'6”. I wonder if I was shorter but had muscles, if those would be any consolation. What might I look like? I do know that those He-man torsos did NOT look right on those little kids. Yes, life is hard and responsibility is important. There's more to it than having fun and a time comes when we must mature and put childish ways aside. Rushing this growth can be bad too. Should little girls be wearing makeup, getting facials, and waxing their hairs? Should little boys be pumping up? I think that extreme can be dangerous and unhealthy as well. Our natural blueprints vary.

I'll think some more about this later as I watch my cartoons.