Monkey Charades

My favorite episode of Night Court is the one with the monkey. Bull tries to shelter an escaped baby orangutan, to keep it from being experimented on. Its owner insists that it's an unintelligent creature. Harry is sympathetic to his bailiff's plight but, as a judge, has to go with the law. As the group is about to turn the monkey over, the little fellow takes a pencil from Harry's desk and snaps it in half. He then points to the ceiling. Then he makes a fist and hits the desk. Finally, he picks up a voodoo doll that was lying there for some reason(probably a prop from one of Harry's magic tricks--my memory is fuzzy on this point). No one is impressed by any of it but Harry is astonished, and realizes that this is proof that the animal doesn't belong in a lab. “Don't you get it?” he asks them enthusiastically. “Don't you see? Look, he broke my pencil. Break. He pointed up. Up. He hit my desk. My desk is hard. Hard. And this...Voodoo. Don't you see? Break. Up. Hard. Voodoo. Break. Up. Hard. Voodoo. Breaking up....is hard...to do.”

About 4:30 this afternoon my supervisor comes by, sporting a green Eagles jersey, and very enthusiastically tells me he has good news and bad news. I ask for the bad news first and he says with a broad smile and a sweeping gesture, “I'm not helpin' ya move all this junk!” The good news, of course, is that my move has been officially approved. Monday he'll speak to the administrative assistant about specifics: getting boxes, switching my phone and moving my computer, etc. In the meantime, I put my work aside for a few hours this afternoon and continued to throw away old things. My stack of books outside my cubicle grew larger. Despite a note that said both “trash” and ”basura”(which my favorite Dominican had once informed me was the Spanish equivalent), nothing had been thrown away last night. When the cleaning lady arrived she exhaled a bewildered wealth of words in my direction, none of which I understood save for “no” and “basura?” I said, “Ummm....whaaa...” and she repeated what she said(possibly verbatim). I realized she was asking if the books were in fact garbage and I said yes, but if they were too heavy she could wait until Monday afternoon since some people might want some of the books and might take them. She nodded in assent and left, and a few minutes later returned with another guy. His tone was questioning; hers was explanatory and a few minutes after they departed, he returned with a big garbage pail and I heard the books being tossed inside.

I saved a lot these past five years, many things weren't even mine. There were some old magazines addressed to someone named “JeanPaul”. I believe the previous occupant was named “Nicole”, but my friend Rey IMed me that he thinks this was the guy who first decorated the pole in my cubicle to look like a tree, in honor of King Kameamea. I found numerous printouts of my (bad) ideas for the redesign of the last club I worked for. I've been on the Sci Fi team for over a year now; I definitely don't need those. In one stack I found dried leaves, and turned over a piece of cardboard to reveal a birthday sign from 2001. Somewhat sentimental, but the autumn leaves which were glued to it had dried to a crisp. I tossed it. Every once in a while, I'd debate parting with something or be amazed at something I'd find, like a book of guidelines to the company's “new” “electronic mail system”. I'd share some of these with Rey via instant messenger, and at one point he realized something:

Rey (7:02:07 PM): tonight's post
Rey (7:02:16 PM): "Learning to Let Go is Hard"
Rey (7:02:24 PM): or "HOLD ON TIGHT!"
Rey (7:02:32 PM): I remember that movie Cliffhanger
Rey (7:02:44 PM): where Sylvester Stallone
Rey (7:02:58 PM): (former star of such hits as Rambo and Rocky)
Rey (7:03:13 PM): was holding onto his friend. Jim Carrey spoofed it in Ace Ventura 2.
Rey (7:03:26 PM): Holding on for dear life, not letting go of his dear raccoon friend
Rey (7:03:39 PM): I can empathize as I emptied my drawers.
MCF (7:03:49 PM): awesome
MCF (7:03:56 PM): now when i get home at 11:45
MCF (7:04:01 PM): i can just paste this ;-)
Rey (7:04:29 PM): it would be right up your alley except the stallone movies
Rey (7:04:33 PM): would have been more obscure
MCF (7:04:43 PM): yeah
MCF (7:04:51 PM): like daylight and oscar
MCF (7:05:04 PM): was it oscar? now i have to look it up
MCF (7:05:40 PM): yep: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102603/
Rey (7:05:48 PM): you're psychotic
MCF (7:06:11 PM): what? oscar was funny. it was like this campy retro gangster play
MCF (7:06:28 PM): kind of like Johnny Dangerously meets Monty Python
Rey (7:06:35 PM): i never saw it but i'm boggled on how you remember all these things
Rey (7:06:43 PM): i didn't even remember daylight until you said the name
MCF (7:06:47 PM): hey arleen "harley" sorkin was in it. cool
MCF (7:07:01 PM): how could you forget daylight
MCF (7:07:07 PM): frikkin dog leaping from the explosion
MCF (7:07:11 PM): so bad
Rey (7:07:21 PM): melded with ID-4?
MCF (7:07:28 PM): no
MCF (7:07:32 PM): dude they did it in both
MCF (7:07:52 PM): that's the thing me and my ex-gf are watching the dog and we're like they won't and then cave-in, kid crying, then heroic bark and leap
MCF (7:07:56 PM): so, so very very bad
MCF (7:09:02 PM): damn this thread IS turning in to a blog entry
Rey (7:24:25 PM): are you writing your post now and e-mailing it home?
MCF (7:25:05 PM): no, i'm mentally composing an introductory paragraph involving night court and a monkey
MCF (7:25:10 PM): and then i plan to actually paste the convo
MCF (7:25:16 PM): screennames edited of course
MCF (7:25:41 PM): i think it will be funny
Rey (7:26:03 PM): lol
MCF (7:30:28 PM): wow
MCF (7:30:34 PM): i told our boss jokingly before
MCF (7:30:42 PM): "leave those folders on my inbox"
MCF (7:30:51 PM): and he guffawed and said is that what ya call that
MCF (7:31:02 PM): and i pointed to this stack of printouts on the corner of my desk
MCF (7:31:10 PM): after going through and tossing papers
MCF (7:31:28 PM): i found an inbox under there
MCF (7:31:39 PM): a nice shiny red one

I left not long after that, satisfied with the more sizable dent I'd put in my junk, and wondering what else I'd find in my next session. It was tough throwing away some things, like instructions I'd gotten on my first day of work, but I felt light and free once I threw the stuff away. Maybe someday I'll be able to do the same in my personal life...