M.C.F.A.T. XVIII: Answers

I think this movie is going to be amazing, and even though I feel like I've spent three days watching--nay, living--the tale, I still can't wait until 2010. There's a lot I can do to kill time until then, not the least of which is tackling the EIGHTEENTH edition of the Mysterious Cloaked Figure's Astonishing Test. Who rose to the task this time? Behold:

B13
(in the comments)

Darrell

Kev Bayer

And now, Accio, My Answers!

1) What aspect of aging do you dread the most?
Darrell's Alzheimer's response makes what I was thinking of when I wrote this question trivial, especially since I watched one of my uncles succumb and shrivel to a fragment of himself before he passed on. The thing that prompted this inquiry happened on the way to an Italian feast last Monday, when morning rush hour traffic found me sitting in a car with two old men for close to an hour. Almost embarrassed, our friend Bill the trumpet player mentioned that he needed a rest room. My dad cheerfully offered a plastic bottle he keeps in the trunk in case of emergencies, something my mom had liberated from a hospital. That horrified me as much as the suggestion of pulling up on the non-shoulder and letting the old guy run up into some trees in a very busy section of Queens. I convinced them to wait until the next exit, where we found a gas station. While we waited in the car, my dad chimed in that now he had to go, “the power of suggestion”. He climbed out of the back while I called our drummer to let him know we weren't getting to Brooklyn by 8 AM or even 8:30, and what the delay was. My dad sleeps in 1-3 hour shifts during the night, interrupted by that pressure and sense of urgency. Maybe it's not as bad as actual incontinence, but I can imagine the fear that comes with that whole prostate thing, and he'll often make stops as a precaution. I like sleeping through the night, and finishing car trips in one shot. Again, it's probably a minor inconvenience in light of Darrell's response, but it's somewhat in line with what Kev Bayer said about relying on other people. It must be very frustrating.

2) What's the wildest ethnic celebration you've ever participated in or encountered on the street?
Manhattan has offered many instances in which people in wildly colorful native costumes have waved tambourines in my face, danced jigs, and played exotic instruments. Last week's Italian feast found the matriarch of one local family using two round metal trays from the morning's breakfast as makeshift symbols. Six hours later, after she beat the hell out of them, they were riddled with dents. At one stop, people danced and banged pots and pans together as we played the theme to Rocky. It was one of the wilder times in recent memory, on par with the year one of the feast officials blew his eye out with a firecracker. The funniest disturbance this year occurred on one block when our drummer, the band leader's son, frantically stopped the procession and ran screaming, “Where's deh cop??” When we asked if someone had collapsed from the heat, he nearly collapsed himself getting the words out: “Some guy...up in his apartment....MOONED us....dat's a disgrace...” Honestly, while a juvenile and offensive gesture, I'm not sure what the police could do if he was in his own apartment, beyond a fine for public indecency. I don't think the drummer should have stopped the entire procession though, and I imagine provoking such a reaction, even if the police did locate his apartment, left the guy laughing his ass off.

3) Which characters would you like to see in the sequel to Transformers? If you're not familiar with the series, you can just suggest vehicles or other alternate forms you'd enjoy watching turn into robots.
I'd definitely like to see some kind of gestalt, any of the teams of robots that combined to form a giant robot. Devastator would be my first choice, not only because he was the first one in the original series but because we've already seen one construction vehicle named for a member of that team. Aerialbots would also be a cool addition, to offer air support to the heroic faction. And with rumors of Grimlock showing up in a sequel, I'd love to see him or any of the Dinobots represented, no matter how little sense giant robot dinosaurs would make. It would just look really cool. Finally, the bad guys could offer a greater threat with reinforcements in the form of Shockwave, a giant laser cannon, or more Seekers terrorizing the skies.

4) Do you ever just go crazy or lose your temper and, if so, how do you cool down and regain rationality?
I blew up at my dad last Saturday for repeatedly asking me if I'd be ready in time to park our car for a parade three hours before it began(and ultimately six hours before it was our turn to kick off). This past Sunday I did a better job of keeping my composure, even though my dad was pressing all my buttons and I was seething. I had to get out of the house for a while, and it took hours for my rage to subside. I'm learning that my outbursts are often releases when other things bother me, or when I feel trapped or stressed out. Last weekend I felt I was “missing” my weekend by playing musical engagements three days in a row, so I got upset at the idea of cutting into more of my free time. It's the same feeling I get when I'm stuck in traffic. Sunday's anger came out my own guilt, projecting my own sense of uselessness as the way my dad perceived me, when in fact the only reason he was working was because he was bored, and didn't want to feel useless himself. I hate the way I sound when I get in a shouting match with my parents, and the irrational things that come out. I guess love includes putting up with stuff like that sometimes, but they don't deserve it after giving me life, sheltering me, and the countless other things they've done for me over the years. Counting, breathing, and other techniques don't work, and I envy Kev Bayer's ability to recover so quickly. I think space is the only solution, stepping back from the situation and returning when I'm feeling more sane. A long drive isn't always an option of course, so possibly learning to go other places in my brain might be the solution. I just hate the loss of control, that I can get along with people for months then suddenly explode.

SPECIAL BONUS QUESTION: What is “Purple Monkey Dishwasher”?
Darrell got this one right; it was, of course, a Simpsons reference. Pass it on....