How did I get HERE?!

I spoke of inertia being my goliath the other day, that opponent that I must defeat though I am dwarfed by it. Lately, a lot of the things that were sufficient to entertain me in the past just don't hold my interest anymore. I get bored and restless, and feel the nagging sensation that there's something I'm not doing that I should, but I don't know what. To that end, I've been taking a lot more vacation days and actually going outside to beaches and parks, when a day in my room surfing the net, watching DVDs, reading, and playing video games were once enough. I've been trying to figure out if it's an early mid-life crisis, a relapse to immature teen years, or just some weird phase, but I haven't come up with a definitive answer yet. I guess I'll be happy when I find whatever it is I'm searching for.

I was still sick when I woke up this morning, and I'll spare readers a graphic description of whatever protoplasmic life form I coughed up. It was cold again, and cloudy, and the easiest thing for me to do on a day I had taken off was to stay in my room with the light out and the curtains drawn, and just rest. I could watch Knight Rider, and play Sonic, and when I got bored with that I could read some old New Warriors(which I felt like nostalgically revisiting after seeing this article). That should have been enough, but all morning and part of the afternoon I bounced from one thing to the other, consistently getting bored. I'd watch the DVD, lose interest, read a few comics, lose interest, play a game for an hour, lose interest, and repeat the cycle. Occasionally the sun poked through the clouds but it really wasn't an ideal day to go out. I'm not a child anymore. When I was a kid if I didn't get to go out an play, I'd get antsy. I should be well past that at my age, shouldn't I?

I didn't have much motivation to go out and couldn't think of anyplace to go, yet I felt it was something I had to overcome. I forced myself to get dressed around 2:30-3, and got in my car. I had no idea where I was going, but the more I drove the clearer my head felt. I went to the nearest beach, the one I went to all the time when I was really young, and one of the few in the area I hadn't hit since this “beach regression” of mine began a few weeks ago. It was high tide and seemed small than I remembered, but I took a walk down the pier and snapped some photos. It started getting cold again as the clouds grew darker, and I felt a drop or two of rain. I returned to my car and let it take me. I thought it was taking me home. I was wrong.

I drove through the wooded back roads of the North shore of Long Island, staying as close to the coast as I possibly could. As the sun came out again and good songs played on the radio, I continued to prolong my drive, making left turns when I should have been going right. I reached a beach three towns away I'd been to many times before, and kept going. I wanted to find what was beyond. As I drove down a road through beautiful estates and past an oddly familiar airplane hangar looking out on the water, deja vu gripped me. It was when I saw the sign for Sagamore Hill that I knew WHY it seemed so familiar.

The grounds were open though the sign said the museum was closed on Mondays. It was very surreal as I drove past the former home of Theodore Roosevelt and pulled in to an empty parking lot. I had not been there since an elementary school field trip, and it was strange to find myself there today. When I first left the house and went to the beach, I planned to just read in the car with the window cracked to get some sea air. Along the way, I pondered a blog entry about how I need ideas for things to do on my days off when I can't stay put at home and it's not beach weather. Inadvertently, I had now found something to do.

I studied a sign posted in the lot. Besides being a historical FAQ, it showed a crude map. I had been to the house years ago, but either didn't remember or hadn't gone hiking on any of the trails. The map seemed to indicate a footbridge of some sort on the far end of the woods, leading to a private beach. I made my way across a field, down a driveway past one of the staff houses, and to the entrance to the woods flanked by an old wooden fence. I made my way down the trail, and as branches creaked above me became aware that no one knew I was there. The middle of the woods behind Teddy Roosevelt's old backyard ranked rather high on the list of the last places anyone would look for me. Despite the whole ”Blair Witch” feeling of the place, I continued down the trail, which became steeper and steeper until I found myself forced into a slow jog. After about fifteen minutes of this, I began to notice water through the trees. I came upon a fork in the trail. One seemed to loop around back inland, while the other led to a long weathered wooden bridge, leading across wetlands to a small island populated by seashells, a few geese, and a swan. The thing creaked as I carefully walked across it, staying where I saw nails indicating more support underneath. I was soon alone on the small island as the sun shone brightly. I had found a very happy place.

After safely crossing back to the mainland and reentering the woods, I took the second fork rather than retrace my steps up the steep trail. My journey took me past a large Asian-style mansion which made me wonder just how far I'd walked. Eventually, I got to the top of the hill and the woods' end. The sky was much darker now, and as I walked across the field to the parking lot, a few drops of rain were falling. As I drove down the road, I noticed the main house was visible and stopped. There was no shoulder and only one lane in either direction, but there was absolutely no traffic, I rolled down the window, and snapped my last picture of the day before continuing along the road back to the real world.

I took a lot of pictures today, some that looked like something out of Lost, and I may share a few on Wednesday. By the time I returned from my unplanned journey, my breathing was a lot better and I was feeling pretty good, if a bit tired. A nap after dinner nearly caused me to miss 24, but otherwise there was no further drama.

I used to like exploring and finding new places. When I was a kid there wasn't a nature preserve, beach, or trail that I hadn't navigated in my area. Once I started driving, I'd often take my girlfriend down roads “just to see where it goes.” I thought I'd outgrown that wanderlust in the last five years or so, and there would be weeks at a time when my car would go from my driveway to the parking lot at my office and back, and not go anywhere on the weekend. I suppose as long as these “escapes” I'm taking don't interfere with my responsibilities, there's no harm in them. I have no idea how I ended up where I did today, but it was definitely a nice change from my room. Today's destination was a nice surprise. Perhaps I should do more aimless wandering in the future.