Fortes in Unitate

Back when I was in my early 20s, watching Jeopardy each night with my folks was something of a ritual. As the years went on and I got home later and later, between work and the gym, the tradition fell by the wayside. During Ken Jennings' epic run, I did get caught up in it again and would put the show on while I was on the treadmill. One thing that always impressed me, was the drop in the IQ level of contestants at 7:30 when Wheel of Fortune came on. With Jeopardy, there's always a level of personal pride on those rare instances I can call out an answer prior to a contestant. With Wheel, I'm often shouting the answer at whatever slack-jawed yokel is opting to buy a vowel or spin again, almost always landing on bankrupt. The other night, while doing laundry, I could hear the television upstairs, because my dad is a little deaf and cranks the volume. It was one of those categories where they combine two well known phrases, and I couldn't believe when I heard the guy guess, “Unidentified flying object of an affection.” I've definitely seen worse, but it's still got to hurt to be off by a mere two letters on a common expression that was even the title of a mediocre film. But it did get me thinking about mixing and matching lyrics, slogans, and other phrases, and the blender that is my brain came up with the following:

I'm proud to be an American Pie; drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was dry.

Now to the world don't move, to the beat of just one drum; you may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one.

Do you have the time, to listen to me now and believe me later?

Where's the beef? It's what's for dinner.

All right, STOP! Hammertime! Let's build something together.

Sometimes you tell the day by the bottle that you drink; Red Bull gives you wings!

I'm all out of love; what's in your wallet?

”I would do anything for a Klondike Bar, but I won't do that.



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