Holiday Partied Out

I generally love the tradition of the annual company holiday party. I've been almost every guy imaginable, from the quiet guy hugging the walls to the uninhibited guy on the dance floor who's had one too many and is letting his coworkers see a side of him they really don't need to see. I've been to parties where I've had a lot of friends to hang out with, and to ones where no one I knew very well attended and rather than mingle I wandered in circles for two hours. Ultimately, I've found a good balance of conversing with people I know, making small talk with new people, and watching other people of varying degrees of ability on the dance floor. Plus, it’s a great excuse to suit up.

Around this time last year, it seems my routine was the same. One night after work I did some last minute shopping, and the following evening I attended the company party. I had only been with the company a few months, and really only knew one person well, a friend from my previous job. We carpooled and couldn't stay for the whole thing, because he didn't want to leave his wife stuck home alone for too long with their new mastiff. One year later, with the dog better trained and easier to control, he was able to stay out a bit longer. The nice thing this year is that I knew my new coworkers a lot better, and there were several people who'd joined the company from my old job.

The party started at 4 PM, which meant a nice short day, although a stack of corrections that landed on my desk after lunch nearly delayed me before I noticed everyone was leaving and nothing could really be done until the next day anyway. Adding a tie and a jacket to the day's attire, I headed over to my friend's house, not far from the office, and on to the country club where the party was being held. Rather than deal with valets, we just parked in the neighborhood as most people were doing. As we walked up the driveway, the head valet came running up screaming, “WHERE DID YOU PEOPLE PARK? YOU CAN'T PARK IN THE STREETS!” Now, there were no no-parking signs on any of the roads in this neighborhood, and mine was hardly the only car out there. We continued on as the guy started yelling at some of the other kids to get out in the street and stop people. I suppose the place might get some complaints from the neighborhood, but we gambled (successfully) that without a sign there would be no towing or ticketing of the 20 or 30 vehicles out there.

We were each allotted two tickets for the bar the day prior, and I cashed mine in right away for a Corona. I'm used to bartenders just sticking a lime in the neck of a bottle and handing it to me, but this woman poured it into a wine glass that was slightly too small to hold the full contents of the bottle. She slid the bottle over, and I assumed I was to take it along with the glass, to refill when there was room, but she held the glass back. “No no; drink that,” she advised. Since there was a line behind me, I had no choice but to gulp down the contents of the bottle.

As we stood around in a circle talking, someone peripherally said hello to my friend. I glanced over my shoulder and nodded, rejoining a conversation with some lady friends, only to register a few seconds later that it was the CEO. I quickly caught myself and fully acknowledged him, shaking his hand and wishing him happy holidays as I made room for him to join our circle. He made some small talk and joked a bit about being sober when it was time for him to address the room, then moved on to mingle with more of his employees. I remember back at my old company, I once joked loudly in a McDonald's about coming in to work late, to the horror of my friends who would later point out that the CEO of that company was having lunch with his girlfriend in the next booth. I really need to be conscious of who's around me, especially people in authority.

It was getting hard to hear as the DJ increased his volume, but I managed to maintain several conversations. I grabbed some food, and soon the CEO stepped up for his speech and the annual raffle. Despite a bad economy that will only be more challenging in 2009, we still managed a profit this year. The raffle was slightly more complicated than last year. Once 10 people's names were randomly chosen from a box, they were given wrapped gifts and the option to keep those, or trade them in for a mystery prize. The ones who gambled ended up with 37 inch flatscreen TVs, although the others still had some sweet electronics in the packages they opted to keep, from cameras to MP3 players to GPS systems and more. There was then a bit of dancing, and one lady looked so much like Meredith from The Office that I was dying. Also, “Mexican Bob”, the hispanic version of my friend Bob that I always see at the gym and almost accidentally greet because they have the same ponytail, appeared to be one of the waiters. It may have been yet another doppelganger, but I think it was the same dude.

Another of my friends from my old company told me she was going to help some other ladies with a trivia competition. There wasn't a trivia competition as far as I knew, but there was a dance competition. She looked pretty surprised when her team was called out on the dance floor. I really regretted that none of us brought cameras. The dance competition, broken down into about 12 teams of 3, was hilarious at first but went on a little too long. Finally they narrowed it down, via applause, the the two best women's teams and men's teams, and settled it with a relay race using very small tricycles, like what clowns use on tightropes. The men had a wardrobe advantage, as the women in heels and skirts couldn't really pedal and had to sort of run while pushing the things. Free dancing resumed once more as the dessert tables were set up. The lines for cookies, cannoli, fresh fruit, mousse and more were longer than the bar lines, so I decided to trade in my second ticket for a second Corona. I made the mistake of going back to the same bartender, and she produced a bottle that said ”Land Shark”. I had never heard of it, and might have overcome my tendency to avoid new things had she not mirrored my expression of a confusion. If a bartender doesn't recognize something, it's not a great sign. “Maybe he has one?” she asked tentatively, gesturing to the next bartender. I wasn't going to get on another line, and opted for a Coors Light instead. To her credit, she at least poured it into a larger glass this time.

Bad wedding music or not, there were definitely some women on the dance floor that could move. Unfortunately, I soon found myself stuck in a conversation with a drunken close-talker who kept blocking my view. I noticed the dessert line was smaller, and excused myself and another friend to get some tea and snacks. She and I found a table, inadvertently leaving my other friend alone with the close talker. By the time we got back, the close-talker was spitting his dismay that my friend had never seen the stage version of Rent. “Sounds like he was into you,” I teased as we finally departed.

Overall, it was a pretty fun evening, a well organized affair with a great bunch of people. I enjoyed the food and dessert as well as the jokes, and I even managed to score a ticket someone wasn't using and get a third beer, this time a Corona from a different bartender. The DJ played some good music, as well as some eye-rollers, but even the stuff that didn't fit my taste resulted in 50-somethings trying Disco pointing and other hilarious moves. I can't believe I've already been with the company long enough to enjoy two of these parties, and I'm already looking forward to the third, while trying not to think about the stack of work I left on my desk for another day that will arrive all too soon.